It's Only Logical

Chapter 21: Fights, Makeups and Engagements

Roman stalked through his theater, and the employees who knew him best scurried to get out of his way. He wasn't exactly the friendliest company when he was in a mood like this. Virgil had definitely been avoiding him, and Roman would worry that his failed proposal had seriously damaged their relationship if it weren't for the warm kisses and the loving looks as his boyfriend gently found excuse after excuse not to spend the night with him or go out on dates. It was maddening! They still met for lunch every day, and he saw Virgil outside of work, but not nearly as much as they used to. Or as much as he wanted, if he was being totally honest. And ever since The Darkest Roast had agreed to host the fundraiser, it seemed like that was the only thing his boyfriend was interested in! He was constantly badgering him with ideas, asking him questions about how he wanted this or that, when all Roman wanted was a romantic evening with the man he loved!

It didn't help matters that with the fundraiser coming up, there was a slew of details to iron out. Vendors to deal with, catering arrangements, decorations, seating, permits and so on and so forth. Roman was swimming in responsibilities at the moment, chief among them being landing a major sponsor. The local art gallery had always worked closely with him in the past, usually helping to sponsor the event. This year the owner been almost impossible to reach and he had no idea why. Between the stress of this and the stress of Virgil, he felt like he was ready to snap!

He was feeling broody, and when he was feeling broody, he liked to work alone as much as possible. He locked himself away in his office, making calls and sending emails like a madman as he mulled things over in his head. Roman had been in love, the real deal, exactly once before. He'd been in lust a number of times. He'd experienced extreme interest and heavy like, but love had only knocked him on his ass once before...twice if you counted Virgil.

Markus had been a totally different experience, and one he rarely spoke of anymore. They'd taken their time, two years of long distance that had finally strained Roman to the breaking point. Markus was funny, charming and handsome. He also lived up north. When the opportunity of a lifetime had come along, Roman grabbed it with both hands. He could go live his dream AND live with the boyfriend he'd been pining for? Why wouldn't he up and move to New York? It had made perfect sense at the time. Most people had been surprised at his willingness to move in with Markus.

It hasn't surprised Roman. He loved Markus, and north was where Markus wanted to be. Needed to be, he corrected, and Roman had figured, naively as it turned out, that he could plant himself anywhere. And Broadway had always been his dream. But things hadn't turned out exactly as he'd planned.

He'd loved theater, loved the crowds and the applause. It was a good job, one of the best...but Roman had been restless and dissatisfied in the beehive of it, and out of place in the urban buzz. The small town boy in the big city. He'd just been too small town, small time, to fit into the urban landscape. Markus, on the other hand, drank it in like water. He'd grown up in the city, couldn't imagine being anywhere else. It had made Roman's feelings of isolation and homesickness that much worse.

He hadn't thrived there, and neither had their relationship. Little things at first, picky things– things he knew in retrospect that they should have dealt with, compromised on, overcome. Instead, they'd both let those little things fester and grow until they'd pushed the two of them, not just apart, but in opposite directions. Markus had been in his element, and he hadn't. At the core, Roman had been unhappy, and Markus had been unhappy that he wasn't acclimating. Like any disease, unhappiness spread straight down to the roots when left untreated. Not entirely his fault, not entirely Markus's either. In the end they'd been smart enough, or unhappy enough, to cut their losses.

The failure of it had hurt, and the loss of that once-promising love had hurt. It wasn't that Roman didn't carry emotional scars or baggage, it was just that there were some scars you had to live with. Broadway had been wonderful, and he didn't regret it for a moment, but this was where he was meant to be. He'd take his hometown stage a million times over all the accolades of New York City. Coming back had been like drawing the first real breath of oxygen after years of drowning. It had been a relief to be home again.