Maybe this time [Completed]

Chapter 26

PAUL

I left the country without telling anyone in the team except for Norman. It's been almost six months since, and I've spent most of that time on the road.

Eric was right, being a full time foreign correspondent was a lot different than just being sent on an assignment. Back then, whenever I got depressed, I would hold on to the fact that this was temporary and that all these would end soon.

Now there's no such thing. Everyday was an endless war - with people, with nature, with the community. I had to fight to get the truth out despite all efforts to hide it.

Soon I lost track of time. Days flowed into each other, and I would wake up not knowing what the date was. I don't even have time to think. All I know of is my next assignment.

And that's just the way I like it.

But today there's something different. I was editing my latest footage when an email came in and I clicked on it mindlessly.

And now I'm staring at my screen, feeling as if the letters were jumping off it and screaming in my ear.

"I'm sorry."

I have only read the subject and the sender, and I was already frozen in place.

It was from Elisse.

I had gotten a few emails from her before this one, but I haven't opened any. I wasn't ready yet. But now I've been forced to read just these two words from her, and the memories come tumbling out.

We had a big fight a few days before I left. The first real fight we've had since the day we met.

And it was my fault, but she's the one saying sorry and I don't know why.

I thought back to my last two weeks in the office.

When I agreed to stay and finish the elections, I had promised myself I wouldn't confront her. I wouldn't ask about her relationship because it was really none of my business. She had the right to choose the person she wanted to be with.

But staying so close to her for hours in the editing room was too much. I wanted to hold her, tell her I was leaving and ask her to make me stay, and the fact that I couldn't made me lose my mind and I exploded.

I shouted at her for the first time ever. I made her cry. And she finally told me upfront that she really was dating that guy.

I had walked out and avoided her for the rest of my stay. I was afraid of losing it and making her cry again.

So I stopped talking to her, and now she's saying sorry.

I took a deep breath and opened her email.

I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say.

I don't even know if you're getting my emails. But it's worth a try.

Are you still in Mexico? I saw your latest work, they aired it yesterday. Everybody liked it! The way you captured the story of modern-day slaves really touched our hearts. I heard UN is calling for a hearing to talk about it. Congratulations!

I hope how you're doing well over there. Take care always.

Elisse

I pictured her face as she was writing this message and I couldn't help but smile. God, I missed her.

As if my fingers had a mind of their own, I clicked on another message. The oldest one, sent a week after I left.

Paul - I heard you got transferred to global. I had no idea! I thought it was just another assignment.

You didn't even tell me. Are you that angry?

I lnow I shouldn't have shouted at you that day. I was just tired, you know? I keep thinking that If we didn't have that fight, I could have at least said goodbye before you left.

Can you at least let me know you're okay?

Elisse.

I almost typed a response to let her know that I was okay, that I'm coping. But I know I can't deal with this yet, I need more time.

Maybe some day, when I've moved on, we can be friends again.

I wanted to turn off my laptop and stop reading her messages, afraid of my own reactions. But it was hard to stop myself now that I started.

I clicked another email from her, this one about a month old.

Hi Paul, are you getting my emails? I checked with your team and they said you're using the same one. So I guess that means you're ignoring me.

Are you really that mad at me? How can I make it up to you? Come on, we're friends, right? You have to let me make it up to you.

How about dinner when you get back? My treat. Even two, if that's what it takes for you to forgive me, all right?

Let me know how you are doing out there.

Elisse

Friends. There's that word again, and I'm reminded why I'm here in the first place.

I turn off my laptop and went outside to clear my head.