Maybe this time [Completed]

Chapter 39

A/N - Ray's photo above (as I see him in my head)

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Ray and I turned to look at the door at the same time, surprised to see Lucas standing there, still rubbing his eyes sleepily.

I hurriedly dried my tears and forced a smile to ease his worries, while Ray quickly went to his side. Taking his small hand, Ray guided him to me and I picked him up and put him on my lap.

"Nothing's wrong, honey," I whispered as I hugged him close. "Mommy and Daddy were just talking."

"But why did you cry? Did you fight?"

"No... No, it's not like that at all. You know sometimes when you're so happy that you feel like crying? It's like that."

"I don't cry when I'm happy. I only laugh. I cry when I'm sad," he paused then turned his head to look at me closely.

I chuckled at his logical argument. How do I tell him that adults don't make sense all the time at all?

"Sometimes Mommy cries for no reason, Lucas," Ray explained patiently. "Because she feels things more deeply. If it happens when I'm not here, just hug her and don't ask why she's crying. Okay, buddy?"

I threw a grateful smile at Ray. He's better at this parenting stuff than I am. Maybe because they're both boys and share a special connection.

"Okay," nodding his small head, Lucas turned back to look at his dad. "I hugged her already, did it help?"

"Of course! Look, mommy is not crying anymore."

Lucas glanced at me and smiled, satisfied to see that his dad was right.

"But Daddy wants to tell you something. It's big people talk - can you handle that?"

"Sure daddy. I'm a little man now, like you said. I should take care of mommy when you're not here," Lucas answered proudly.

I looked at Ray questioningly. What was that all about?

He just smiled and nodded his head in Lucas' direction, silently telling me to just go with the conversation.

"That's great, buddy. Now, there's another person who wants to take care of you and mommy, aside from me."

I stared at Ray in surprise. He wants to tell Lucas now?

Trust me, he mouthed the words to me then turned back to Lucas.

"Would you like that, buddy? To have someone help you take care of Mommy?"

"I don't need help. I can take care of mommy by myself."

"But some days you're really tired, right?" Ray pressed on. "Like when there's so much work to do or you had a busy day in school, it's nice to know someone else is there to care for mommy and you can just take a rest."

"I guess..." Lucas conceded. "But who can help me? You, daddy?"

Ray shook his head slowly.

"I can't, buddy."

"Why? You also lived here before," Lucas argued, and I heard the confusion in his voice.

"Ray, we can talk about this later," I stepped in, worried this whole discussion was too complicated for our son to understand.

"Elisse, he's growing up, you have to stop treating him like a baby. He understands more than you think he does, believe me."

He held my eyes, asking me to let him handle it. After a moment of hesitation, I nodded slowly, and he turned back to Lucas.

"I told you why I can't do that, remember? Mommy and Daddy want different things in life. We need to be able to go after our dreams so we can be happy. You want us to be happy, right?"

"Uh huh."

"That's why daddy has to leave the house. So I can follow my dreams, and Mommy can get hers too."

"Okay," Lucas nodded, then paused thoughtfully. "Are you happy now?"

"Yes. Yes I am. And I get to see you every weekend too, that's the best part!"

"Are you happy, Mommy?" Lucas twisted around to look at me and I almost burst into tears again.

There was a huge lump in my throat and I couldn't speak, so I just nodded my head and smiled reassuringly.

"Okay then. If you're both happy, then I'm happy too."

"Thanks, bud," Ray grinned and held up his hand for a high five. "And you're okay with letting someone else help you take care of mommy?"

"Who?"

"Mommy's friend. He met mommy even before I did, actually, so I'm sure he'll take good care of both of you."

"Who is he, mommy? Have I met him?"

"You have," I confirmed. "But you probably don't remember because you were very young then. Would you like to meet him again?"

He paused, then turned to look at Ray as if asking for permission. Ray nodded quickly and gave a thumbs up.

Lucas thought about it for a second and glanced back at me.

"Is he a nice person?"

"Of course, honey. And he'd love to see you again."

"Okay."

And with that single word, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I looked back at Ray, tears filling my eyes, overwhelmed with gratitude and love for this person who, despite our not so ideal past, is willing to stand behind me at a critical moment like now.

Thank you, I mouthed silently.

He nodded and whispered back. You're welcome.