Maybe this time [Completed]

Chapter 30

PAUL

We broke up that night. How could we not? It was not fair to her, what I was doing.

My only regret was that I didn't realize it sooner. I had wasted so many of her best years.

Th guilt consumed me, and I refused to date anyone else after that. I didn't want to break another person's heart again, I knew how excruciating the pain was.

And any relationship I'd let myself be into would only lead to heartbreak. I was sure of it now, as sure as I'm breathing, because I finally realized that I have never really stopped loving Elisse. Never have, never will.

I tried to settle for casual encounters and one night stands, but even that grew old after a year so I had resigned myself to living the rest of my life just watching her from the sidelines, content as long as she was happy and well.

Then Cristy sent me an email that rocked my world.

Paul, I don't know if you've heard the news. Ray and Elisse are divorced! It was finalized two months ago, she only just told me this morning.

But I've seen it coming for a while now. She hasn't really said anything, you know Elisse, but I can see that she's not happy.

She's been like a zombie walking in these corridors! I can't even remember the last time she laughed, it felt awful watching her. I'm relieved they've finally called it quits.

Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you knew. What happens next is up to you - you know what I mean.

All the best,

Cristy

Even though I had known that she and Ray were not compatible, I had not realized it was this bad.

Her emails always sounded happy, though at times it seemed too happy - like she was over compensating - I didn't make the connection to her having problems to her marriage.

What the hell did Ray do to her?

Just thinking of the possibilities made me want to fly home right now and punch the life out of him. I hated the guy from the get go. So much more now after what he's done.

He took away the light in my world and then treated it like garbage.

But it was also my fault, damn it. I shouldn't have let him take her, I should have fought for her - I should have fought harder!

All the anger, pain, regret, and longing that I've tried to hold back all these years now washed over me, like waves striking at the cliffs in the middle of a storm.

I was confused.

What am I supposed to do? Should I rush home so I can stay beside her through this process? But would it help?

I don't even know the real reason why they went for a divorce. Is it for real? Or just a spur of the moment thing?

I was scared to hope. Scared to let myself believe in the possibility of a future once more, because I had it once and it was taken from me.

But I also had to know for sure. I had to give it a try.

Hi Cris, thanks for letting me know. You're a good friend.

Can I ask for a favor? I want to file for an extended leave, say six months? I've barely taken a leave since I left anyway, so I should have earned the needed credits by now.

If they still refuse, tell them I'm taking the time off to seriously consider their offer for the current affairs post. Do your magic, okay?

Thanks heaps!

Paul

The station had just sent me a formal offer as Vice President for News and Current Affairs. I heard it was a personal recommendation from Eric, who holds the position now. He is scheduled to retire next year, so they need to start the transition soon.

I was grateful for the recommendation, but I initially turned down their offer because after spending so many years on the road, I could not anymore imagine myself tied to a desk the whole day.

Now things have changed. Now I may have a reason to stay - if I manage to do things right this time around.

Cristy's response was quick and to the point.

I'll work on this right away. Will update you later.

Cristy