grayson dolan imagines

scars

trigger warning- mentions of self harm

f/n= friends name

"we should go to the beach soon" grayson looked at me. "meh, not really in the mood" I shrugged.

I've always had an excuse, to not go places where I need to show skin. sick, tired, not in the mood, too cold, don't like swimming, I have plans.. they're all lies. But I don't want you to see my scars.. I don't want you to judge me, or leave me, or think of me any less..

"you always say that, come on just this once? please?" 

I hate lying to you, I hate it so much and I'm sorry. But It's best you don't know..

"I gotta go hang out with f/n" I looked at him. "I asked if she had plans today and she said no" he sat up, looking at me with sad eyes. "come on, how come you never wanna do stuff with me?" he frowned at me. "I-It's just, I don't wanna show skin, I get cold easily" I couldn't lie while looking him in the eye, I looked at my lap. "It's hot at the beach, I'm sure you'll be fine" he put his hands in mine. "please? It's just the beach, you're not insecure are you? I've told you how beautiful you look-"

"It's not that grayson I just don't wanna go I'm sorry!" I snapped. None of us said anything for a hot minute, I felt my throat close and my eyes water, so I put my head down. "sorry for yelling.. I just don't want you to see my skin" I said softly. "why?" he asked, leaning closer to me. 

"haven't you realized I never show my thighs?" I look at him, and he softly shook his head, looking at my legs that were covered with sweat pants. "why do you hide them?" he asked, looking up at me with a confused look on his face. I took a shaky breath "because.. I used to do things.." I whispered, and looked up at him with teary eyes "to myself.."

I think that's when he knew what I meant, and he put his hands on my thighs. "no.." he said, his eyes full of worry and pity. "I didn't.. know what else to do at the time, I was going through a lot and didn't know how to handle it-"

"I wanna see"

"grayson please don't make me show you"

"how bad is it?" he asked, his eyes filling with tears too. I couldn't answer him, the scars were bad.. all over, thin and thick ones, in lines and crossing over each other. "how bad y/n?" he asked again, leaning closer. "I'm sorry" I said, I couldn't look at him. "please, show me.." he begged silently. I lifted my hips and let him pull my sweats down, leaving my underwear on. I kept my head down, I didn't wanna see his reaction to the awful things I've done to myself. 

I was shocked when I felt him kiss my thighs, all the scars, he ran his soft fingers over them lightly. "please don't do this ever again, please.." he begged, wiping his tears. "I won't, It was a long time ago.." I said, finally looking at him. "I won't let anything bad happen to you, okay? I promise.. If you need anything, anything at all just come to me.. I'll be there" he said and I nodded, wiping my tears. 

"we don't have to go anywhere, let's just stay here and cuddle for a bit, okay?" he said and covered us up with blankets and we fell asleep in each others warm embrace.