Me Before you {Peter Hale}

I

Even one week after the incident with this devilish handsome man, I couldn't stop my mind from thinking about every last bit of our encounter.
The aura surrounding him was intimidating and dangerous, in ninety-nine percent of the cases that wasn't exactly what someone would call perfect conditions for a safe and stable relationship.

And this was the main thing I have been striving to achieve all my turbulent life. Even in the so called prosperity of my life, better known as late adolescence, my mother developed a severe brain tumour. It was near a miracle she managed to survive this long.

After this new milestone, I swore it only got better.
Maybe, that was the reason why I actually had started my three-year lasting apprenticeship as nurse. Working was actually a welcome diversion from my regular miserable life.

Alright, I had to admit: This factor only happened to be a great side bonus, originally I had chosen this job nearly ten years ago because of my drive to help people. Sounds very idealistic and goody-goody, who was I trying to fool?
It was super idealistic and goody-goody.

Up to this point, I've never been regretting this choice, even if this meant staying awake for one, two or three days in a row.
Frankly, the physical exhaustion helped me to gain a certain amount of pride and confidence over those past few years. Fucked up? Abso - fucking - lutely.
But who cares? At least, I did something productive to help this world out. My payment could be higher though. Okay, just kidding.

No seriously, raise my salary.

It wasn't like I needed any additional financial support, yet being able to spend some money just for fun as reward wouldn't be too bad. Additional coffee for example was a great investment.
Àpropos coffee, didn't this man invited me to go grab a coffee with him? To be fair, he couldn't possibly be after my money since I didn't have any to begin with. One of the biggest advantage of being poor. I didn't know if this was funny or sad.

I'd rather stick to the first one since I'm pride. Poor and Pride. Who did need Prejudice anyway?
No, I'm sorry, Pride and Prejudice, you were an exceptional film and I loved you from the bottom of my heart.
All those countless nights I've watched you just to keep my hopes up of finding my own cold prince who is actually a gentleman of its finest.

The guy from yesterday somewhat even fitted this description, with the mere difference of scarring me a bit. The other enormous part was mysterious and appealing.
As a result, my inner conflict was greater than my strict budget for this month. I hadn't even brought something presentable with me for my staying in Beacon Hills.
I sighed.
Those fantasies should finally come to a halt, he probably only needed another sex toy to push his ego and just found in me what he was waiting for.
Hopelessly desperate, poor nurse with a lack of romantic and sexual contact. Yet, my heart wished nothing more than his sincerity. Even the smallest possibility of this outcome made my heart flutter.

I should go out with him tomorrow, just to show him how beautiful and great I as a matter of fact was.
Or I tried to be.

Wait a moment though, where did he wanted me to meet him again? As I was going through the conversation again, there was no place mentioned. He didn't tell me his name either.

The scales fell from my eyes. He pulled a bad joke on me. What a jerk. My naiveté reached a new level.
I should be relieved that this intimidating man wouldn't bother me any longer, but my mind wasn't able to fully understand how great this news eventually were, instead I felt a strange mixture between sadness and anger. Is there a word for that?
The urge to cry my balls out was somewhat comforting now. So I did exactly that. The ability to cope with shit was never one I actually could call mine. Therefore, I always ended up crying.

Tears blurred my view causing me to collapse on my sofa. My lip trembled as well as both my hands. Why did he have to play with my feeling like that?
What did I do wrong?
Why always me?
First my father, then my mother, then him, were my feelings that worthless?
" Fuck you" I murmured with closed eyes, " no wait, fuck me for allowing you to fuck with my feelings. " I remained in this position, hugging myself tightly, until all my feelings were relieved by tears. Only then, I could gather enough strength to stand up and look at my miserable reflexion in the mirror.

I had enough. All this suffering. All this sadness. All this pain.
I breathed heavily. Only some more weeks in this crappy town until my mother was done here. Until then, no more men. No more handsome, weird men manipulating and toying with me.
I swiped the salty water of my face with the back of my hand.
My eyes hurt, assumingly very puffy and red. My body still shaky, yet my mind was as clear as it never has been.

A look at the clock told me it was already way beyond ten pm, high time to make myself presentable again before heading to the local hospital.
Night shift was such a lovely time to work, everyone could just go to sleep while you had to force yourself against your natural rhythm in case one of the patients needed to go to the bathroom to pee. I sighed. This was the only part as nurse which sucked. Yet, frankly, even night shifts had their ups, especially if one compared it with the day shifts who resembled living hell.
The best one: Nobody saw your with sadness filled, red puffy face.