Me Before you {Peter Hale}

XXVIII

Save one more.

" Do you still think my crimson eyes are beautiful, Ava?" Peter and I stood in front of the building we had just exited. Our hands no longer intertwined, the act we had to put up dropped the moment the door closed behind us.

To this moment, I still asked myself why I didn't clarify the situation and asked him to leave.

" Even after knowing they are dyed in the colour of my victims?" It was the exact same soothing night as It had been minutes ago, though this time the chilly wind didn't extinguish the fire inside me, instead it pierced right through me.

I kept quiet avoiding his gaze at any cost, because I was conflicted and confused at the same time. I exhaled and inhaled quietly, observing the white fog coming out of my mouth.
Apparently, this was the last decision as regards of our "relationship", his question was a simple one to ask, and yet hard to reply to. The scent of the petrol and forest now mixed with his cologne, it was unique and intriguing at the same time. Just like him.

He was a mass murderer, had abducted me and physically harassed me and here we were, standing in front of the sheriffs department, casually talking like two people would.

" You are cruel, Peter" I stated, for this moment avoiding a clear answer to his question.
" So are you, Ava, remember?" , a light smile playing around his corner.
I simply nodded, not returning the gesture. My whole mind was a gigantic mess.
On the one hand I wanted so badly to slap him, run away and never have contact or see him again. After all, he ended too many lives and traumatized to many. Whereas on the other hand my soul still longed after his embrace just like in the building we were seconds ago.

I needed to find a solution to this conflict. It's this typical heart against head thing I suppose?

Nonetheless, my heart was in a crisis as well, sometimes it was about to devote himself entirely toward him and other times it was just numb to him.
" Why did you decide to come back to me?" Maybe the answer to this would change something.
" I don't know" his glance wandered to the dark, black sky covered with contrasting, white stars,
" I guess I kind of missed you. "

That's the nearest to a confession Peter has made so far. He rarely talked about his feelings or his person whatsoever. I heard my heart beat slightly skipping a beat despite it didn't respond when he touched me in the sheriffs department.
" I appreciate your effort not sugar-coating anything", I stated in all honesty looking the same direction as him. Another crystal clear night.

" I thought as much", he then said shifting his glance back at me. This was the most awkward, and yet also most charming conversation we had had so far. Maybe this time, because he neither tried to seduce me, nor I begged him to do so.

" I like you the most when you are this way, sadly most of the time you have been nothing but a cocky, arrogant jerk. Seriously, as a responsible and loyal US-citizen, I should report you for murder. "

" But you don't, because you still care for me. You are covering for me. "

" Don't remind me of my stupidity", I hissed at him, clearly furious of how he was using my feelings towards him to save his ass. The siren continues to sing her song despite the fight its victims was putting up. How egregious.

" It's not stupidity, it's called affection. "

" Stop mocking me, Hale. "

" I am just frank, that's all, Ava", he let out an exhausted sigh, his right hand rubbing against his eyes.

Then I have to be as well in order to save one more. Throughout our conversation, there has been about two meters distance between us, my steps quickly diminished it. A newly obtained courage spurred me which was mostly a result of my instincts.

I now was face to face with him, our noses inches apart. His eyes questioning me with slight confusion in them. He was not aware of what I was about to do.
But this did not stop me from rising my hands and cupping his face. Before I even allowed my mind to second-doubt me, I smashed my lips against him.
He immediately responded and snuggled even further up to me. It felt so good, I just couldn't withdraw from the temptation... at least once more.

One final time before bidding him my farewell.

We separated after what seemed to be a small eternity, the second we left my hand hauled out and crashed with its palm against his rough cheek.
I slapped him as hard as I possibly could. This also felt surprisingly satisfying.

" Your crimson eyes are shining in the most mesmerizing red I have ever seen. " I stepped back, this time smiling brightly, since I now found my solution, my remedy.

"However, just as much as I love them and you, I cannot stay with you, Peter. It's true that you dyed my dull world into a colourful one. Every time you touched me I felt as if I had a purpose in life a place I'd belong. But I know your red eyes never shone for me, and they will never.
Just as you had said earlier, I have no purpose to you. I am nothing, but a mere pastime existing to spend occasionally time with you, when everyone turned their back against you.

And yeah, you infatuated my mind to the extent where I am stupid enough to not report you, because even though those eyes were never directed at me, but a greater goal.
I cannot restrain myself from facing another direction. They mesmerize me just too much.
Hence, I will slowly walk backwards, slowly stepping away from your enchanting aura, hoping to break the spell. "

Tears flooded my face, every step out of his spell burnt my skin heavily.
" The sincerest gift, I can give to you is to let you go with the truth. " He stepped a few steps closer to me, again our faces were extremely close. A leave would not be able to fit between us.

"The only reason I approached you were because of your earrings, the triskele never disappointed me up to this day.
I thought of you as useful, because I thought I could use you in my upcoming fight in order to ensure my survival. However, this wasn't the case, since you were immune to my attempts of implanting my memory inside you, however at the same time your body wasn't invincible to my bite. I asked the vet Deaton to find out why this happened. After some research lasting for numerous weeks, he had told me that he believes your soul is possessed.
It seems like this whole water and drowning thing is caused by your lives before this one. Deaton's guess is that your soul is the same soul as one of the children the weeping woman had drowned. It's some Spanish myth, look it up on the Internet. I am too tired to explain everything to you. "

The whole time, I silently continued to cry.

" You are seriously one hell of gigantic asshole, you dumbass", I croaked with trembling lips.
My body hurt so badly, though I forced a smile on my face despite the pain.

It's the only decision with which I eventually would find salvation from this seemingly, endless agony.

" I know, Ava. Goodbye"

" Farewell, Peter, you jackass."

He chuckled lightly at my insults thrown at him. I stepped back once again, just as I had said, however after approximately ten to fifteen steps I dramatically turned around and walked to my car.

" I will never forget you, I hope those boys will be able to stop you, after I have failed", I muttered to myself. I unlocked my car and fell exhausted from life onto the driver's seat.
" I have a feeling, I will ball my eyes out once again, making it the fourth time in a row."

Today, I saved one more.

Me.

Because you would never be able to put me before you, Peter. After prioritizing yourself, I decided today to put me before you, in order to not fall apart.

To save myself from falling deeper into the darkness.