Guard My Heart

Chapter 11

I have never been the type of person to sit around and feel sorry for herself when going through something. With that thought in mind I got off the couch, squared my shoulders and grabbed the duffle bag to walk into the bathroom.

After a nice relaxing shower and changed into jean shorts and a tank top, I walked out of the bathroom feeling much better. I wasn't going to sit around and wait for anyone to come comfort me. I had to comfort myself and get on with my life if this is what it was going to be from now on. I've been an independent woman since I was sixteen years old. Never turned to my family for anything, I always figured things out myself and I wasn't going to start now. If Sebastian wanted to distance himself from me then so be it. I wasn't going to be the one to stop him, not anymore.

I walked to the end of the hallway, away from the room Sebastian had chosen for himself and settled in to my new room. I took all of my stuff out of the duffle bag and left his stuff in there. Dropping the bag off in the living room. Then I walked around the house until I found a study with a huge glass desk. On one wall there was a floor to ceiling book shelf with tons of books, at least twenty different genres. I settled for a book and left to my room to read. I read for many hours until my stomach started growling. I decided to walk to the kitchen and make myself something to eat. The clock on the stove read eight thrity two in the evening. Damn, I was reading for at least seven hours.

The kitchen cabinets were fully stocked. Just the refrigerator was missing a couple items, mostly dairy. I settled for ramen noodles and a strawberry soda.

I was almost done with my noodles when I saw Sebastian walk out of the room he had been holed up in. Before the door closed I could see a whole bunch of monitors with images of the outside of the house. They were probably the monitors for the security cameras. He probably had been in there monitoring the house making sure no one had followed us. He glanced my way and for a second I thought he was going to walk in the opposite direction, but to my surprise he began walking towards me.

My heart began beating a mile a minute at what was happening. Sebastian walked until he was standing on the other side of the island I was sitting at. He was looking straight into my eyes but wasn't speaking a word. I almost felt tempted to look away but I'd be damned if I looked any weaker than I already had. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until my lungs started burning. I exhaled and inhaled slowly as to not give myself away.

"I want to apologize for my attitude earlier. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have acted that way towards you. I guess I was frustrated that I almost failed to keep you safe and blamed you for my frustration when it was no where near your fault. I don't know what I would have done had something happened to you." My heart fluttered in my chest at his words.

In a perfect world I would've hurled myself at him, squeezing him tight while telling him I forgave him and everything would be alright. But this wasn't a perfect world and I was not a perfect person.

"I understand, I too felt frustrated and scared. I was making accusation out of fear and I know that it wasn't fair to you because all you wanted to do was keep me safe. That is your job after all." I almost cringed at my hurtful words but I restrained myself from doing so. "All is forgiven, now we should concentrate on finding out who the mole was." I tried to smile reassuringly but it probably looked forced.

"It is not just a job to me. I care about you way beyond my job. I've been through loosing my family because of my job and now that I finally have someone that I truly care about I was about to lose it again. Do not trivialize my feelings for you, I will not stand for it." I almost awed at his words.

"Well at one point you acted like I was just a job for you. I needed you to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be alright, but instead you pushed me away. If this is what happened when I made a small mistake then I can't even imagine what you'll do when we have a real big fight. I'm not perfect I'm going to make mistakes and so are you but I would never push you away in a time of need." His expression turned remorseful at my words as understanding dawned on him.