Diamond Tears

Chapter 1

Dear Diary,

To be honest, I never really liked school. Especially high school. In this small, tedious town, everything is based on hierarchy. When you’re at the top, you can’t fall. You’ll never get back up. In my school, we’ve developed our own caste system. It’s quite simple. You have to be rich, athletic, and bitchy to be at the top, the some-what popular are in the middle, and the not so popular are at the bottom. Like me. In fact, I put myself in that position, so that I wouldn’t be known. That didn’t seem to work out very well for me.

My grandmother stands at my bedroom door, shaking her head and clucking her tongue. “Addie. Lying in bed all day is not the solution.”

“Neither is cleaning the house.”

Granny chuckles. “Your right as always, Addison. Remember you hair appointment at ten.”

“I won’t,” I call after her as she descends from my room. I moved in two months ago, and stayed the entire summer hiding out in Cottage Country. I must say, living with my Grandmother and Aunt has been the best improvement in my life. I’m utterly convinced that my mother is losing it, or she already lost it. She probably banged her head against a wall and lost all of her common sense. However, deep down, I know that it’s always been this way. My mother has been appeasing him since we were young. I know my brother. He can wrap anyone, ANYONE, around his fingers with just one lie. And that is the reason why my soul and heart vanished in the land of misery. His lies.

In the kitchen, Granny hands me a bowl of cereal, which I happily take and start munching on. Aunt Tris walks into the kitchen still wearing her Hello Kitty pajama’s and has a raccoons nest on top of her head. “Morning.”

Granny snorts. “You look like something the cat dragged in.”

She sits across from me. “I am never drinking again.”

It’s my turn to snort. “I’m sure. You better hurry. Your boyfriend will be here in fifteen minutes.”

He actually said twenty but it was fun to watch the embarrassing moment of her ‘trying’ to run.

Granny turns to me, shaking her head. “I don’t know why you’re laughing. It’s 9:37. Move it.”

         When I’m with my grandmother and my aunt, I can briefly forget my problems. When I come out in public places like this, I forget how to breathe. It feels like I’m drowning. Maybe my hair doesn’t need to cut, and I can ditch the appointment. I’m too late, because my hairdresser, Canopy, sees my through the window and ushers me inside. I tell her how I want my hair, and she starts to work on me. I glance around the room. Other than a couple of hyper kids, I see one person that makes my heart drop. Breathe; I have to remind myself, because even as I sit down, my whole body is turning into a soggy, emotional mess. Zachary. There is only one solution to this problem. I pull out my phone, and begin to read.

“Hey, Addison.”

I jump, making Canopy tsk at me. “You’re lucky I didn’t have scissors in my hand.”

“Hello, Zachary.” His name taste weird in my mouth.

“I heard you were at the cottage all summer.” I know. It was the best summer vacation ever, along with being the perfect place to hide my shame. I give him a small smile. Actually, that’s a lie, I tried to smile but my mouth ended up looking twisted. “Yup.”

“Well, see you tomorrow. Good luck.”

I don’t say anything. Instead, I try to give another smile, and nod my head. I close my eyes. It hurts. And every day, for the rest of my life it will continue to hurt.

 Dear Diary,

It’s the first day of school. I stand in front of the mirror, looking at my reflection, taking in my appearance. My once long hair is at my shoulders, and my eyes are dull and lifeless. My pale ivory skin is hidden beneath my light make-up. I know I’m beautiful, but even beauty has its flaws. I’m like a diamond that was cracked in the middle, and very soon, because of that crack, I will break. I will lose my beauty, but nobody will notice because I’m already broken. I just haven’t cracked yet. Soon.

Sawyer

I start classes tomorrow, and I really shouldn’t be on the other side of town, visiting family and stuffing my face with my mom’s food.

“Sawyer,” my mother sighs, “I still can’t fathom how you survive on pizza and Chinese food all year. You should come home on the week-ends.”

“I do.”

“No, not every three months, Sawyer. Every weekend.” Before my mother can indulge in an eight hour lecture about how it’s bad to starve myself, my cell phone rings. “Miami, I just dropped you off at school.”

“Can you please just come and pick me up? I’m not feeling well.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

My mom shakes her head. “I hope she’s okay. She hasn’t been herself lately. And she has lunch. Who signs out at lunch?”

I leave my mother mumbling to herself, and drive to my old high school. Miami is waiting outside, the light wind blowing her hair. She jumps into the car like it’s her lifeguard. “Hey.”

“Did that boyfriend of yours do something?” I ask.

“No, it’s what they didn’t do.”

I can hear the distant wail of sirens accompanied by the paramedics.

I narrow my eyes at my sister. “What did you do?”

“Nothing. She leans her head against the window. “Nothing at all.”

“Are you okay then? Mom’s worried, which automatically gives me the right to be worried too.”

“I’m just tired. Just drive, Sawyer, and stop worrying about me.”

I shake my head, and drive.