𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐚 & 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐢𝐠 𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐲 🩰 | [COMPLETED]

iii. literally perfection

♚♚♚

"I was off my game today," Lucy grumbles as she swings open the stall door. "Calvet called me out. I need to get back on track. THIS is why I can't go to the movies!"

Lucy inches closer to the bathroom mirror. She traded in her black leotard and pink ballet flats for a large, striped shirt that slips off her shoulders, navy blue skinny jeans, and blue Vans. She loops a silver owl necklace over her head and lands it on her chest.

I sit slouched on the cold, tile floor. I stare at the white lights on the ceiling as they flicker.

"Julie? Are you not gonna change?" Lucy asks in concern.

"I'm just...drained. I guess," I tiredly answer.

I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I know I look like a hot, sweaty mess.

"Calvet made one comment at you. So, I'd say you're doin' alright," Lili says while cracking open the other stall door. She steps out wearing a white Paris shirt painted with a rosy doodle of the Eiffel Tower, a hot pink skirt, and salmon sneakers.

"I don't want her to make any comments at me, period," Lucy replies. "At least you can take criticism well."

Lili pulls off her scrunchie and lets her curly hair spring out. "Both of you are just stressin' your hearts out over somethin' that isn't personal."

"Well, it's someone pointin' out your flaws. How can it not be personal?" I add. "Criticism feels like a stab in the heart to me. I hate it when I do somethin' wrong."

"I don't think you should feel that, babe. Criticism is there to improve your skills. How are you gonna get better if no one points out what you're doin' right now?" Lili says while checking her phone. "Also, Diamond says hi."

"Tell him I said hi back," Lucy adds.

"Same," I say. "Anyway, Lil, it's not that simple. It doesn't help that every time I make a mistake, Mommy and everyone else jumps on me like a hyena. I can't really tell what is wrong and what is right."

"Your mom just sucks, then. So does everyone else! It's okay to make a mistake!" Lili yells.

Lucy turns her back to the mirror; pondering into space while twirling the silver owl between her fingers. Then, she asks, "Are you guys auditionin' for the solo? I think I'm gonna do it."

"Yeah! You totally should, Luce!" Lili encourages her.

I nod my head in agreement.

"Wait. I forgot about Ashley Howard," Lucy mentions. "That girl is literally perfection. And she's so nice, too. Like the time she invited all of us to her birthday party at the Sugar Factory. Remember that?" She states.

"Aww. That Sugar Factory party was so nice," I add.

"She'll probably get the solo. But, that's not gonna stop me from tryin'!" Lucy sings as she turns back to the mirror. "Mom and Dad would be so proud of me if I got it. It'll be, like, the ultimate way to show off my skills and what I've learned."

"Oh, Luce. They're already proud of us just for being here, ya know," Lili states. "It's not like it's easy to be accepted here."

Then, I started thinking. If I were to get the solo, if I were to beat the prima ballerina of our class, it might just prove to the rest of the class that I deserve to be there...

"What if I tried out for the solo, too? You think I can do it?" I ask.

"Totally. You've got great potential," Lili says.

"If I try out, I don't want potential, though. I want the solo. But can I get it?" I say.

"We'll support you no matter what," Lucy restates. "But, I'd say you have a good shot at makin' it if you do try out."

♚♚♚

"Start practicin' right after you eat," Mommy says while shoving the vlog camera in my face again.

Mommy uses her free hand to set down a meal of steamed broccoli, pale white chicken, and cut, mushy carrots on the table. Always at just the right nutrition value I need, of course. She slides the plate to my end.

"For those of you that don't know, there's going to be a solo opportunity at Julie's dance school for her recital. Leave a comment down below to wish her luck!" Mommy narrates.

"Mommy, I don't think I have a chance," I admit. "I mean, you've seen Ashley Howard before."

"So do you not like ballet anymore?"

I gulp at the sudden harshness of her tone. The camera holds me hostage, waiting for my answer.

"I still do," I say.

"Okay. 'Cause I'm tryin' to understand why you don't wanna try. Throughout your career, you're gonna encounter hundreds of Ashley Howards. But you can't let that stop you."

"I dunno if I'll be as good as her."

"Remember why we're in this school in the first place?"

"To be a prima ballerina," I repeat.

"Yes. Julie, look at all the trophies and plaques stacked in your room, does that not mean anythin' to you?"

I chew the rubbery, tasteless chicken. Then say, "What if I do get the solo and it's too much pressure? What if I can't handle it?"

"What is with you and all of these 'what if's'?! Just do the thing. This is what bein' a prima ballerina is like, Julie. You have to be in love every aspect about ballet, even the parts that make you anxious or sad. Otherwise, what's the point?"