Miscarriage

Chapter 5

    

    Hanji was downstairs arguing with Levi. practically screaming at him about his mistakes, she kept interrupting him when he tried to tell his side of the story or apologize. Eren stood there watching as they yelled over each other and back and forth. Eren interrupted saying he wanted to hear what Levi had to say, when Hanji looked at him with a betrayed look and started to yell at him how he needed to stay out of it. He looked at Levi but saw anger in his eyes as well. He immediately started crying as they both told him how wrong he was.

They stepped forward as he stepped backward. Each step made him feel smaller and smaller until he took one more step back to find the kitchen around them turned into a cliff. He fell backward as darkness overtook his vision and Hanji and Levi disappeared. He tried to scream but his voice came out as a whisper and he could feel the oxygen around him disappearing. He was falling and couldn't breath. His throat felt sore as he suddenly heard a loud ringing in his ears and .......

The peace will always be destroyed. Eren knew it was coming but just didn't know when.

It has been about a week since Eren was doing better, but now he was having a nightmare that really scared him. Especially when he woke up in a sweat and was hyperventilating. His door was closed but he could hear Hanji and Levi arguing about something downstairs. He slowly stood up and backed into the corner of his room and slid down the wall, covering his ears, rocking back and forth and whispering.

"No, no, no, stop it, no no"

This slowly got louder and louder. Luckily Titan immediately knew that he couldn't calm him down in this situation and started barking at the door to alert Hanji of a serious problem. There were no locks on any of the doors, so Hanji burst in and saw Eren curled in a ball. Levi had followed behind her, since she suddenly ran upstairs when the dog barked. He wanted to know what was going on, but did not expect to see Eren in such a frightened and panicked state. He looked around the room and saw multiple harnesses and vests for the dog hanging up that all said, " service dog" "do not pet" "working." he realized this was the dog Hanji told him she got for Eren.

The dog was sitting next to Eren and putting its paw on his knee and trying to distract Eren. Hanji bent down in front of him and reached out, but her touch made him scream bloody murder so she retracted her hand and tried talking to him, but he continued screaming. Levi had never seen him so panicked before. He had seen small panic attacks but not at this level. He was shocked at how much worse it was, than he had expected.

Levi only knew one way to calm him down. It was called a grounding technique, which he learned from Eren's old Counselor. He approached Eren and knelt down in front of him, ignoring Hanji's angry glances toward him.

"Eren... listen to me."

Eren got quieter but continued panicking, Levi knew he was listening so he continued.

'" Describe to me where you are right now"

"Im ...no....im in..... My room"

Levi smiled,

"Good, now what's in your room?"

"There is..... Me"

"Good what else?"

Eren's breathing was noticeably slower. And had moved his hands away from his ears.

"My bed"

"Great, now what are some things you hear?"

It was silent for a few seconds.

"I...I hear the ac ...and ...my breathe"

"Now feel your hands."

He put his hands in front of him, with his eyes still closed and traced the lines on his palms. Levi reached out and slowly touched his hands, to which Eren took and traced Levi's palms until he was breathing steadily and was now sitting criss crossed in the corner. Hanji watched silently, and amazed at how fast Levi calmed him down from the worst panic attack she had seen of his.

Titan still had his paw on Eren's knee and was watching Levi as he was ready to put himself between the two if he did anything to harm Eren.

Luckily that didn't happen, as Eren simply calmed down and then passed out from all the stress.

Time skip

-

Hanji looked at Levi as they sat on the couch and waited for Eren to wake up.

"Levi... just because you helped Eren right now does not mean i trust you yet."

"I understand." he replied

Once Eren had woken up Titan guided him downstairs and stayed by his side eyeing Levi just as he had done before. Hanji looked up and smiled at Eren who kept his eyes on Titan since he didn't want to look anyone in the eyes. He sat on the couch and Titan laid across his lap. He mumbled something so quietly that no one heard him, so Hanji asked him to repeat it.

"What was that sweety?"

Eren repeated,

"I'm sorry."

Levi inquired this time,

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

Eren hugged Titan as he nuzzled up to him,

"Im sorry, i lost it."

Hanji and Levi looked confused. They didn't understand what he was talking about. Hanji thought maybe he lost his phone or wallet or something, but this would be an odd time to bring up something so trivial.

"Lost what, Eren? Maybe we can help you find it." Hanji inquired

" It's no use... It's gone and it's my fault. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

"What are you talking about Eren? What did you lose?" Levi asked

"I'm sorry."

He looked at them with a dead stare. No tears on his cheeks, only because he was too tired to cry, and responded,

"I lost our baby"

He curled up into a tighter ball on the couch as Levi was the one to cry this time, not because he was upset but because he felt guilty for putting Eren through so much trauma.

"Eren, like i said you have nothing to be sorry for. I was an asshole to you and overreacted. The next day I felt so bad for what i said that i drove back to the hospital and paced around outside for hours. I thought you wouldn't want to see me, so I left. I went to therapy a couple months ago because I was so depressed and angry all the time, and even my therapist told me what a dumbass I was. I'm here because.... I'm so sorry that I wasn't here to support you. I know you suffered more than I did and im sorry for that. Eren Jaeger, i still love you with all my heart. I want to ask for your forgiveness, of course I don't expect immediate forgiveness, but i hope we can at least be friends again. None of this is your fault. I should have been there to support you."

"Levi?"

"Yes?"

"Can you stay with me tonight? Just until I fall asleep, please?"

"Of course."

That night Eren fell asleep wrapped in Levi's arms with Titan at the foot of his bed. He had the most peaceful sleep he had had in years. No nightmares, no cold, and no loneliness.