I'm Not Hungry

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Trigger warning:  Anorexia mentioned

Finally, after three long summer months, I am getting back on the train to Hogwarts for my 5th year.

"Emma!" I hear two voices behind me as I walk to the train. I turn around to see my two favorite red heads, Fred and George Weasley.

"Hello boys." I say.

"Our mom sent some of her brownies for you." Fred says.

"She knows they're your favorite." George finishes.

"Thanks guys, but I'm not hungry." I say.

"Can you take it and eat it later." Fred asks.

"Sure." I say, I take the baggie and shove it in my pocket, I'll give it to Draco. I wave goodbye to the twins and walk to the train, sitting in the compartment I usually sit in with Draco Malfoy, who is my best friend.

"Hello Love." Draco says, walking into the compartment. I get up and hug him tightly.

"Hi Draco." I say. He hugs me back and kisses the top of my head. We sit down at one of the tables. I pull the bag of brownies out of my pocket.

"I brought brownies for you." I say.

"Thank you. But aren't you going to have one? You love brownies." He asks, taking the bag.

"No, I'm not hungry." I say.

Great Hall, Dinner time

I put a small scoop of potatoes on my plate, alone with a tiny spoonful of vegetables and one chicken leg. I pull out my journal and flip to todays date.

Day 83: 250

Breakfast

Egg white ×2 - 30 Cal

1 1/2 tbsp cheese - 30 Cal

2/3 tbsp salsa - 5 Cal

1/4 cup vegetables - 5 Cal

1 tbsp skim milk - 4 Cal

Total: 74

Lunch

2 large lettuce leaves - 16 Cal

1 cup of tuna (no mayo) - 50 Cal

Total: 66

Dinner

I wrote down stuff at the corresponding time that I had that meal. And now to write down dinner.

1/4 cup diced potatoes - 29 Cal

1/4 cup vegetables - 5 Cal

1 chicken drumstick - 76 Cal

After writing everything down I add it up.

29 + 5 = 34 + 76 = 110

110 + 66 = 176 + 74 = 250

Perfect. The right amount of Calories for today.

"Love what are you doing?" Draco asks.

"Oh, nothing Draco. " I say.

"Whats this book for?" He asks, pointing at my journal.

"Just my diet." I say, looking down.

"Emma, I'm not stupid. You're Calorie counting aren't you?" Draco asks.

"Dra-" I try to say.

"Give me the journal." He says, although its more like a demand. I sigh and had it over. Draco starts flipping through the book, probably shocked at what he was seeing.

"You haven't eaten more than 300 calories a day all summer!" He says.

"Draco I- " he cuts me off. He puts the journal down beside him and grabs my plate. He piles it full of different foods. All I see is the calories adding up.

"You are going to sit here and eat this, and I am not going to let you leave until it is at least half gone." Draco says.

"But Draco-" I try and say.

"No. You are going down a dangerous road, Emma. Doing this could lead to serious eating disorders and possibly even death. I can not loose you." Draco says.

"Draco, I'm just what I eat, thats all." I say.

"Love, you are beautiful just the way you are. You don't need to watch what you eat." Draco says.

"I think I do." I say.

"You don't, you are beautiful. And I love you." Draco says.

"I love you to Draco." I say. Draco pulls me into a hug and kisses the top of my head. Then pulls away. He hands me a fork.

"Now eat, Love." He says. I smile at him.

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