Chapter 12: Giving up

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Chapter 12

Peeta's P.O.V.

"Peeta... Please don't give up", I hear Finnick's faint voice. "You can't give up".

I can barely function with my eyes. My body feels so weak right now. It has been taking a lot of beatings and electricity. The other guys has as well, and they're just as weak as I am.

"I'm trying", I whisper. "You can't either".

We're trying to keep each other's moods up. We won't give our kidnappers any information at all, and that is starting to show on their temper as they are getting more and more angry and beats us more badly then in the beginning.

The torturing is getting unbearable though. I don't know how much more of this I can take before my body shuts down

I haven't shown any kinds of emotions all the time we've been here. The only thing I have done is to scream of pain when they torture us.

We have to listen to each other's screams and prayers of mercy.

We've been strong enough not to tell them anything, but now I don't know how long we are able to do that. They are really breaking us down slowly and painfully.

I can't do this...

What comes into my mind next is Katniss. Her face, as she smiles and says my name with love in her voice. That beautiful face that also has a home in my beautiful little daughters. My little girls who are so much alike their mother with the exception of their blue eyes, which they got from me. My beautiful girls.

I have three beautiful girls at home that depends on me. Who loves me and wants me to come home. But now they think I'm dead.

"I wonder if Katniss has told Riley and Becca I'm dead", I whisper.

"I guess, and Annie surely has told Fisher", Finnick says low.

"They think we're dead", Cato sniffs.

Is he crying?

"Cato, are you ... Are you crying?" Marvel asks.

"So what if I am?" Cato sobs. "We'll die and our families will not have to think we're dead anymore, they will know".

I look at him. The tears form small lines from his eyes and down in his dirty face. He's whole face tells me that he has given up now.

He just had to didn't he? I take a deep breath trying my best not to let my own tears fall. I cry so rarely it's a very big deal when I actually do cry. I cried when I thought I was going to lose Katniss and the girls. If someone close to me is hurting. But that rarely happens.

Now though... Even though how much I try not to, I feel how the tears slowly runs down my cheeks.

"My girls..." I breathe out as I release a new wave of tears.

Have I given up? I actually don't know that yet. I think of my girls too much to give a thought to my own thoughts.

I close my eyes. I feel how my breaths only gets weaker and weaker.

What if my body would give up? Then I would have absolutely no chance to get back to my girls.

When Katniss and I first got together, she was scared. I promised her that she would never have to see my body in a casket. Now when I look back at that, I feel stupid and idiotic for giving her false hope.

I really was stupid for thinking it would all work out. To be a soldier and have a family. I know a lot of people who are soldiers and has families, but has to feel like me, even though they may like their job they have to have some doubt. They just have to.

I, and this is only for me personally, regret my decision of joining the army. I hate myself for doing that and exposing Katniss to the sorrow of losing a husband and the father of her children. That was what she was afraid of.

And what will my daughters think when they grow up without a father? They won't remember me. Katniss will tell them about me. Rye and Daniel, my parents, they will tell Riley and Becca about me, but they will not remember me, who I was or how much I really love them. Only I can tell them how much I love them, but I'm not with them to tell them.

I... What can I do now? Really? From here I can't do anything else but to die.

I don't want to die, but I won't allow myself to feel scared. If I let the fear take over my body I will never get out of here.

Cato has lost it, so I can't, I have to get us out of here. We have to get back to our families.

"Glimmer has to have given birth by now", Marvel says low.

I didn't even think of that. Yeah I think that too. Poor Marvel. Poor Glimmer. This sucks. Everything just sucks right now.

The door opens. Not again.

"Please don't", Finnick says.

"Tell us where your team is in hiding!" A rough man says in a very dark voice.

"Never!" I say.

I don't care what they do to me. I am never betraying our team, and neither is the other three. No matter if Cato has broken down, he won't ever give them information.

When I see what they take up, I start to shake instead. Oh god no.

"Don't!" Finnick yells and starts to struggle like a maniac against the ropes.

But they just continues with what they're doing and hooks the metal things on my skin.

I close my eyes. I've stopped crying.

"Don't!" Marvel screams.

But they turn it on.

The electricity fills my body.

"AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH", I roar with all the strength I've got left.

This time I'm surely going to die.

They stop it. I breathe heavily. They turn it on again. And this time the pain is too much and I just give up all together.

I fall down onto the floor. My vision is blurry.

"PEETA!" The boys shouts. "NOOO!"

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Finnick yells.

I can barely hear what is going on in the room anymore.

The last thing I see, are feet running around in the room. They have called in more to torture the others, they've done that before. Everything goes completely black in front of my eyes.

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✏️1081 words✏️

Hey guys, I hope you liked the chapter even though it's not that good under the circumstances.

Please vote and comment.

-Josephine xx

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