Learn to Love Again (Scomiche fic)

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*Mitch’s POV*

    “So are you going to tell me what happened?” Scott sympathetically asked me once we had arrived home and were sitting comfortably on our sofa. He had grabbed me a tissue box and set it next to me along with my favorite pair of rainy day sweats that I always wear when I’m feeling down. He genuinely was the best boyfriend I could ever ask for, literally the complete opposite of Travis. I feel violated, scared, angry, and confused all in one over him. I was so stupid to ever date him, let alone think I loved him. I wanted him completely gone and out of my life, but I have no idea how to do that. I could call the police, but Travis would know it was me who ratted him out and would have his friends come after Scott and I. Either way I would hurt Scott, and I couldn’t do that to him.

     “I can’t.” I reply shyly and afraid. I grab a tissue and blow my nose.

     “What do you mean you can’t? Are you okay? You haven’t hurt yourself have you?” Scott’s voice became more worried than before.

     “I just…- I don’t know Scott. I’m just having a bad night. I’m having not so good flashbacks of Travis and it’s all just overwhelming. I’m sorry.” Lying to Scott felt awful, but it was what I had to do. I’d rather lie to him than have him hurt. It was a small price to pay, but it seems like the only option.

     “Oh Mitch, it’s alright. He’s gone, I promise he won’t mess with you again. I love you so much and I won’t let anything happen to you. I love you” Scott nuzzled his head into my shoulder and grabbed my hand. He interlocked his fingers with mine and I hesitantly returned the favor. I was scared, even in my own house, that Travis was somehow watching and planning how he’d destroy Scott and I’s lives. My heart was racing and it seemed as though I was feeling every emotion possible. I started crying more and I could feel Scott’s grip on my hand tighten.

     “I just need to stay home for a couple days,” I said, hoping Scott wouldn’t question me. A few days avoiding the public (and Travis) would give me enough time to think through everything.

     “That’s fine Mitchie. If there’s anything I can do to help, I’m always here.” Scott then placed a kiss on my cheek. Instead of making me feel happy and giddy like normal, it made my nerves flare and my anxiety to rise. I hate what Travis has done to me.

     “I’m going to lay down for a bit in my room, goodnight.” I say to Scott as I stand up. I was terrified that every movement I made was somehow being monitored by Travis. I make my way to my bedroom door and open it.

     “I love you.” Scott yells to me.

     “I love you too,” I say shyly. I know I still love him, but I was terribly afraid to say it. Travis has ruined my life, and if I’m not careful he’ll destroy it more.

~

     I plopped onto my bed and let out a short sigh. My tears began flowing again and everything felt like it was crumbling on top of me. I needed a release, so I turned to the only thing I knew would grant me that.

      After searching for no more than a minute I found my razor. Hello old friend I thought to myself. I held it in my small hands and gently rubbed the sharp blade against my thumb. I rolled my left jacket sleeve up and firmly grasped the razor in my right hand. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and counted to three.

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     I slashed the blade against my skin and took a deep gasp. I could feel the blood running down my skin and I opened my eyes. It was deep and it hurt immensely, but it wasn’t enough. I closed my eyes once more, and counted to three again.

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    I let out a small yelp. This one was deeper and hurt much more. My blood was falling off my arm and onto my jacket, staining the green color dark red. Apparently my yelp was louder than I expected, because Scott was knocking on my door asking if I was okay.

     “Yea, I’m fine. Just stubbed my toe.” I hated lying to him, but at this point it was the only option. If Scott saw my cuts he’d never leave my side, and as much as I’d normally enjoy that, it couldn’t happen now due to Travis and his fucked up idea of fun.

     “Okay, I’m going to get some sleep, see you in the morning.” Scott said through the door. I wanted to reply, but I couldn’t. I heard him walk away and open his bedroom door. I was relieved, but at the same time extremely worried that Travis would somehow hurt Scott during the night and I wouldn’t be there to protect him. It felt like a war inside my head, and no matter what I do I could not win.

     I grabbed some toilet paper out of my bathroom and started trying to wipe off some of the blood on my arm, but it didn’t take long to realize that my cuts were too deep for toilet paper to handle. I found some bandages under the sink and gently put them on my arm, hoping they were enough. I went back to my bed and laid down, trying to distract myself from the pain but failing immensely. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep, however my thoughts were too cluttered to allow me to.

     I sat up and rolled down my jacket sleeve so that my arm was no longer visible.  I silently sat up and left my room. I slowly walked over to the doorway of Scott’s room. He was already asleep, and he looked so peaceful. I wish I could watch him forever, but unfortunately that’s not possible and also kind of creepy. I smiled to myself as I remembered the nights full of cuddles we’d shared in that bed, it tore me apart knowing all of that could never happen again if Travis doesn’t leave me alone.

     I walked over to Scott’s bed and laid down next to him. He woke up and grabbed my torso with his arms cuddling up next to me. For the first time in a while, I felt safe.

    I’d die before I let Travis take Scott from me. 

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Wow, it’s been awhile. I’m really sorry about that. I’ve become motivated and I look forward to writing and finishing this story. Thank you to everyone who has read and will continue reading, you genuinely mean a lot to me. I’ll update as frequently as I can, but I’m not going to promise any specific days so I can really focus on making my writing better and not worrying about deadlines. I hope you all have a great day and enjoy this chapter!

-Loryn