In God's Hand (Islam based) (Completed)

THIRTY FOUR

Dear Diary,

It's been 11 days. How I miss my baby boy. Mama refused to let me go to the hospital to see him. It's depressing. Danial has been going to the hospital daily. Every time he went, he'll come back with a new photo. We have decided to name our little baby, Shafique Deen.

Shafique means Merciful, Sympathetic whilst Deen means Religion.

It took us quite some time to get a name. We keep changing around with the name. But thank God, we finally stick to this.

Today is my last day of postnatal massage. It feels so good to be massage. But the corset. It's just too much for me. Some days I feel so stiff with it on my body. Hope this will get me back in shape.

Love,
S.H.
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Sofea

Sofea has been pumping since day 3 when her breast wouldn't take the pressure anymore. She stored it and Danial would take 3-4 packs of frozen milk to the hospital for their baby. Her little fridge was slowly building up real fast too. She wondered how long can she last. Every few hours she will need to spend almost thirty minutes to one hour to pump. It was a very tiring job.

But with each passing day she became better. She can walk properly now. No more like a slow tortoise, as teased by her Uncle Aidil.

Soon it was time for her 1 month check-up with the doctor. Which also means she's able to go and spend more time with her son.

In the past days, she only manages to visit her son for at most thirty minutes as her mother insisted her to be back as soon as possible. Sofea was so frustrated at her unemotional mother.

Danial, on the other hand, would always tell her to be patient and that soon she will be able to visit every day. They got on her nerves sometimes.

After her visit to the doctor, she and Danial went to NICU. Sofea was so excited to see the little tiny boy. However when she arrives, the tiny boy she remembered seemed to have grown a few inches long.

"Sir. The doctor would like to see you in his office," the woman in white uniform informed, directing to Danial.

Danial left Sofea alone and went to see the doctor in charge of Shafique. Shafique was still unable to be out of the incubator yet, so Sofea could only let him hold her fingers through the hole.

The soft but wrinkly hand grasped hers and she felt comforted immediately. She desperately wanted to hold her baby, but she knows it was not the time yet.

Be patient Sofea, she told herself silently.

With the other hand, Sofea gently touched his delicate face. He gave her a smile and she saw a dimple formed at his left cheek.

"You're so adorable!" Sofea gushed softly at him. "You know I've longed to have you in my arms. I wanted so badly to hug and kiss you."

"But I know I can't. Soon baby. Once you're better, I'll bring you home and you can have a normal life like every other child."

As if understanding his mother's words, Shafique Deen gave another smile. Sofea's heart melted at the sight of it.

"I'll read you lots of books. When you're older, your daddy will teach you how to pray and read the Quran. He'll be a good father to you. You're going to be the apple of everyone's eyes. I'm sure of it."

A firm hand gripped her shoulders. She looked up to see Danial smiling at her.

"Well, Mummy needs to learn to read Quran too."

Sofea blushed. She knows she has been avoiding it for too long. She was actually embarrassed that she didn't know how to read the Arabic words. Her words sounded funny to her.

Danial did tried to teach her a few times, but as time passes, Sofea always find excuses to avoid reading the Quran.

"I'll try," Sofea promised. "What did the doctor say?"

"Well, the doctor said Shafique is doing well. He seemed to be in perfect health so far. His weight is gaining steadily. He is free from any infections, except that he has a bit of jaundice. He will be placed under the bilirubin lights later tonight."

"But if no other complications occur and when he can start breathing without the support, he may be release earlier than 4 months."

Sofea smile grew wider. "How early is that?"

"Maybe another 2-4 weeks," Danial said, looking into the incubator. "Hey baby! Strong boy aren't you? Soon you will come home with us. Grow well ok."

Suddenly the same nurse approached them and smiled sweetly at Sofea. "Mdm, do you want to put your baby on your chest for skin-to-skin contact?"

Sofea eyes widen in surprise. "I can hold him?"

The nurse nodded, "Yes. Doctor has given the green light. But it will only be for a few minutes."

Sofea held Danial's hands and squeezed it in delight. She quickly moved further from the incubator so the nurse can remove the cover.

"I will place the baby on your chest. This is called the kangaroo care. But do note the tubes will still be attached to him, so be careful."

Sofea nodded enthusiastically. She quickly sat on the chair while Danial closed the curtains around them. She silently thanked god for the decision to wear a buttoned blouse. She unbuttoned the first three buttons and prepared for her baby.

Once the small baby was laid on her chest, she felt the hot tears in her eyes. The warm skin of her child soothes her heart.

"Hey! I can finally hold you," she whispered.

Danial sat next to them and Sofea spotted a tear in his eyes. "I'm jealous that I'm not the mother."

The nurse chuckled. "Oh don't be. Fathers are allowed to do the kangaroo care too."

Danial grinned in delight. "Yessah! So you can only take half of the time, let me take another half."

Sofea giggled as she rolled her eyes at him.
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