A Secret - Choni

Twelve

Toni's POV

"TT I just wanted to apologise again for all of the serpent scum stuff. I didn't want to admit to myself that you were worthy of an education and I guess I assumed the worst for no reason." Cheryl's voice was laced with regret, I could tell she was being honest. "It's okay Cher, really. I get it." I smiled down to where she was cradled in my arms. She tightened her grip on me and snuggled her head further into me.

X

We were currently sat watching cartoons, cuddling on the soft rug, before we went to bed. "I'm really glad we're okay Cheryl, I was worried that you'd find out sooner and just block my number honestly." I giggled to her, she let out a small smile. "Of course not, but I think I found out at the right time." She continued to grin at me before leaning up to place a peck upon my lips.

"So this is gonna become a regular thing? The cuddles? The kisses? The affection?" I let out a cheeky smile before she replied. "I hope so, because I really like doing it TT." She nuzzled into me once again and we sat in a comfortable silence, our eyes glued to the TV.

Cheryl's POV

The silence was comfortable to start off with, but as time went on with no more words spoken between us, I began to panic. Every word that my mom previously spoke, every insult that she spat out at me since I could walk, it all came into my mind at once.

I may be loveless, Toni could be using me for her own gain. God why am I thinking this? She wouldn't do that. Would she? Fuck, my mind began to cloud and my eyes began to water. After a few moments of trying to regain some sanity, I gave up completely. My breathing became laboured and I was profusely sweating, feeling every limb weaken by the second. "Cheryl?" Toni's voice came from above me. I shot up from my previous position on the floor and made my way to the door, sprinting as far away from the room as I possibly could.

I've never been in a relationship. What if I fuck something up? What if she just uses me? I can't deal with losing someone again after Jason. Oh fuck. I need Kevin. I need Kevin right now.

X

I was sprinting full speed down the halls towards Kevin's room, when I arrived outside his door I slammed my fist against the door as heavily as I could, holding some of my body weight on the doorframe. It didn't take Kevin long to open the door, finding me panting, unable to breathe at the other side of it.

"Oh my god Cheryl, come in." He wrapped an arm around me to keep me upright before closing the door and leading me over to the couch. "Cheryl calm down, okay? Breathe with me. In and out as always. You got this Cher come on." He comfortingly whispered in my ear.

X

I matched my breathing with Kevin's as best I could, letting his voice knock me out of the frenzy of emotions that was whirling incessantly through my mind. "That's it you're doing good Cheryl. Keep going." He assuringly whispered into my ear, I regained some posture and strength, enough to sit up more and not have to grip Kevin as hard as I previously was.

"What happened Cher? Is it Toni?" He rubbed circles upon my back and held me in his arms, keeping his tone soft and his voice quiet, not wanting to startle me even more. "Sorta." I wiped my eyes and sniffled, sitting up so I could face him, but still not releasing my grip from his sweater.

"Tell me slowly what happened." Okay. I can do this. "It's her, she told me. We uh... kissed and then we cuddled to watch cartoons before bed. But I panicked because I've... I've never been with anyone before, my mother calls me loveless and I believe her sometimes. My emotions just got the better of me." He nodded understandingly and pulled me even closer to him. "I get it's all new Cher, it's hard after endless years of mental torture from a woman who was supposed to nurture you. Toni won't hurt you, Toni will protect you. She clearly likes you Cheryl and nothing bad will happen. I promise okay?" He pleadingly looked at me, not averting his gaze even for a second. I nodded my head and calmed down completely.

X

"God I just ran out on her, I started to have a panic attack and I just sprinted. I didn't say anything at all." I rushed out. "She'll understand. Explain to her slowly, just like you did with me. Got it?" He finished, I sniffled and nodded my head, wiping the remaining tears from my eyes. Moments later, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

X

Anonymous❤️
Dec 7 10:40pm

Anonymous❤️
cheryl are you okay? where did you go? just let me know you're safe baby

Cheryl
i'm sorry toni

Anonymous❤️
don't be sorry baby

Anonymous❤️
are you safe?

Cheryl
i'm with kevin

Anonymous❤️
okay good

Anonymous❤️
would you like me to come and get you?

Cheryl
yes please

Cheryl
but don't be mad at me

Anonymous❤️
i could never be mad at you i promise

Anonymous❤️
i'm coming

Cheryl
thank you TT

X

Toni arrived at Kevin's door less than a minute later, 3 soft knocks against the wood indicated her arrival. I stayed in my position on the couch, while Kevin stood up to open the door for her. "Hey Toni, she's just on the couch." I heard Kevin whisper to her, footsteps following right after, headed in my direction.

She kneeled before me and held my face in her hands. "You want to come back up with me?" She questioned softly, guilt and worry was evident in her eyes alone. I nodded my head softly and stood up, making my way over to Kevin with Toni following me.

X

I brought Kevin into my embrace while Toni stood and watched. "Thank you Kev." I gripped the back of his sweater once again. "It's okay Cher, you can come to me when you need okay?" He kissed the top of my head just like Jason used to, causing me to melt into his embrace. I released him and sent him a grateful smile.

"Where's Fangs by the way?" I giggled slightly, still sniffling. "He's asleep, he's lazy." He giggled back to me, sending Toni a knowing look. "That he is Kevin." She laughed back to him, patting his shoulder and mouthing a thank you before we left his room.

X

When we returned to the comforts of our own room, Toni led me straight into the bedroom. She had already laid out my pyjamas and makeup wipes on the bed, ready for my return. We sat upon the edge of the bed and I leant my head against her shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She whispered into the top of my head. "I had a panic attack. I'm sorry Toni." She pulled me into her completely, engulfing me in her embrace. "Don't apologise baby. It's not your fault at all." Hearing those words come from her mouth brought me peace. It was like floating on cloud nine. "Everything my mother said just came into my head and I've never done anything like this before really. I've never been with anyone. I had this stupid fling with a girl in Junior High but that's it. I was just scared I'd do something wrong and you'd hate me." I whispered into the crook of her neck, letting out stray tears.

"I'd never hate you Cher, your mom is a fucking bitch and quite frankly I'm so glad you're out of that hell hole. You're not gonna screw anything up, you're perfect just the way you are babygirl." She pressed gentle kisses all over my face, leading from my forehead down to my nose, across my cheeks, finishing with a short peck on the lips. This caused me to let out short giggles into her neck.

"Thank you Toni." I kissed her softly, stroking her cheek with my left hand, while my other worked on entwining our fingers together. "Of course, come on let's get some sleep Cher." She kissed my head once again.