TANTRIC (Book 3 of the Soundcrush Series)

Chapter 51: Hippie Chics Safeword

No preamble today...I know everyone is eager for this chapter...

Ashlynn

The silence on the limo ride back to Calabasas is charged. Leed has thrown himself into the corner of the limo's curved seat. The thoughtful look playing on his face raises sweat on every inch of my skin, but I sit very still, focused on his face and the calm power pouring from him, feeding me assurance.

I block all thoughts but the Lion.

Finally, he breaks the silence with a heavy clearing of his throat. "Ashlynn."

I wait. He seems reluctant to say more.

"Ashlynn," he begins again. "I need to ask you something. And no matter what the answer, I love you and it's okay."

"Okaaaayyy..." I say very softly, breaking eye contact. I don't want him to ask me about Varrick again. I don't trust my response.

"While we were apart, at the party...did you take something? Is that why you want...punishment?"

I let out a sigh of relief. Is that all he wanted to ask me?

I climb onto my knees and move beside him, looking him dead in the face. "I did not take anything. But the whole scene was...making me uncomfortable in my own skin. I was watching a girl that was high, wondering if she had pills on her. Then, I saw the Ties That Bind Set," I place my hand on his thigh. "And I thought of the way you took me in the kitchen at my place......and the craving for oxy...just faded. I want you. Not drugs. Not anything, really, but you."

I run my hand up his thigh and he hisses, wrapping his large fingers around my wrist and pulling me into his lap, pressing his forehead to mine. "I want to be your man. I want to be everything you need. But I never want to hurt you. I don't think...I can."

I smile against his lips. "You won't hurt me. I know you won't. You'll just make me even more yours."

He groans and kisses me hungrily, demanding my tongue and lips the rest of the way home. When he finally pulls away, my lips are tender, swollen. I lick them, relishing the feeling of Leed's intensity, as he speaks to the driver, telling him to pass by Leed's neighborhood and continue on to unfamiliar address.

"Where?" I pant.

"Mac's place," he whispers, continuing an assault on my neck as his hands roam smoothly over my dress.

"Oh!" I giggle. "Good thinking." Mac's unit is a penthouse condo in one of the swankiest complexes in Calabasas, but the best part it...it's completely unoccupied at the moment. No babies, nannies, or dubious PA's.

As we enter the elevator, Leed punches the penthouse access code, then steps behind me, leaning against the wall, not touching me.

A heavy clearing of Leed's throat precedes the words, "You're sure you want it like this?"

My breath is coming sharply and I force myself to slow it. How can I be this turned on by the idea of Lead dominating me? Is there something wrong with me, that I'm wild at the idea of taking pleasure from inflicted pain? I fought this for so long—unable to merge the pleasure of sex and the high I get from submission, but with Leed, I can't deny my truth. Or his. I don't want to live on my knees for him, but his power begs to be unleashed, and every shadow of my soul whispers that I'm his. I want to be the only one he shows this side to.

But can we keep it as play? A scene, a role, encapsulated moments in time? Or will giving him my will tonight be a thing that can't be walked back in the light of day? Right now I feel like I'm on the edge of a dangerous but incredibly beautiful precipice. Just like the overhang we stood upon at Tallulah Gorge. Will I be able to keep my footing on the edge, or will I lose my balance and plunge into an oblivion there's no climbing out of?