Just an introduction

The Love we make...

Before I begin,I would like to thank the writer of the Balm of Gilead.Your story is a true testimony of Devine intervention.You are blessed beyond your own comprehension my dear friend....Now this is my journey so far.

"...And the Sun of righteousness will come with healing in his wings..."Maleachi 4:2
...For thy Maker is thine husband;the Lord of Hosts is his name..." Isaiah 54:5
These two verses,are two of my favourite verses and have been my only thread of hope during very lonely times.If not for these two verses I would have lost hope and fall into great depression.Because my life has no illness involved in it but it was filled with tragedy and loss ,starting at a very early age.My parents weren't exactly model parents,they both were very unhappy with each other and they divorced when I was ten due to infidelity from both sides.My mom moved to another country,leaving me behind with my dad.He was more interested in gambling and women so he dumped me at his mother's house.My grandmother strongly disliked me for my quiet and introverted personality.She always said I had to be doing something wrong .Which was not the case.So she spent her time fishing for mistakes instead of actually raising me.I ended up being beaten for things I never did.Life after the divorce was hell.I went from a semi safe environment to a hell hole,where  was the black sheep.Always being bullied by family members. As a result I created this imaginary world I would excape to ,when life got unbearable.A world filled with love to make up for the lack of love in real life.I had one aunt who was like a mother to me,but she was blind.Her daughter is a nurse and very early on I learned the nursing skills without even attending nursing school yet.I would take care of her and I didn't mind because I felt she was the only person who really loved me.At age 15 my dad introduced me to his new woman and I had to move back home.I reluctantly did,I did not really trust her.And for good reason too...because I became a real life cinderella ,taking care of her 8 kids and the house.I am glad I was blessed with intelligence because I kept doing well at school despite all of this.I loved learning and after school I never wanted to go home.I loved school a lot.At age 16 I ran away from home and stayed with a friend.II had a crush on a guy ,a little older than me.He was a bus driver and I used to pay extra to do extra rounds with him.Long story short,I was sexually abused by that same guy.And this is how I lost my virginity as well.At age 18 when our house burned down I started to attend nursing school and lived in a hostel for 8 years.During this time I went to church,got engaged and had a miscarriage and dumped.I forgot to mention my mother's death at age 17....So when all this happened I went into a deep depression.All I had to pull me through were these two verses.In 2016 I heard that Prince passed away.At that time I just knew him as the guy who sang Purple Rain.But I watched interviews and I was intrigued.At that time my only companion was loneliness.I gave up on dating and relationships because I was just emotionally drained and I had given 100% in my previous relationship.He was too embarrassed to marry me while pregnant.And due to stress I lost the baby.He was relieved but I hated him at that point.So with me being angry all the time and him cheating the engagement was cancelled and we broke up.Anyway...from 2016 I started loving Prince a little more everyday.When I read about the loss of his son and his childhood,I could totally relate.I have learned from him that being yourself is the best thing to do,even if most people dont accept you for who you are.Prince loved and wanted to see everyone thrive.Recently when my dad died,Prince was my ray of light.He comforted me with his words and his songs.So needless to say,Prince is my friend,as I have none,my mentor and guide in bad times.Which seem to be a lot.But I see him as a blessing from God,maybe a guardian angel,I don't know.But one thing I do know is God speaks in many ways.He does not have to come down from heaven for me to know it's Him.He uses devine intervention and uses people around me to show me I am loved.Because I had no love growing up,I decided early on that I would give love and repay bad with good.I wanted to be different because I never loved crowds anyway.As shy as I am only people in my inner circle get to see the real me.I love to laugh and have a crazy sense of humor.I choose to see humor in every siruation to keep a positive attitude.Laughter is the best medicine and I try to take a daily dose of it.My favourite movies are comedies.I used to feel sorry for myself and ask myself 'why me?'.But as I grow older ,my perspective changed.I realize that my life is not my own.Its a painting and God is the Master painter,who paints every little detail with the Bigger Picture in mind.Prince has also been added by Him for this reason.A human comfort,someone who also has been through a lot.He is like a living testimony of what faith does.His life is a result of faith.I believe that.And his supporters are like a huge family who understand me.Thanks to you I am no longer the odd one out. I love you all....