Invisible

10

"Koeun-ah, can you promise me something?" I was too emotional and weak to even lift my head up but I managed to made a sound indicating him to continue talking, "I want you to promise me to be happy whatever happens in the future."

"Mark.." I was about to cry, I want him to stop talking and stop saying such things.

"I don't want you to cry over stupid douchebags and playboys again.." he smiled at me warmly, "and I don't want you to cry for me again."

"Mark." I started crying, it hurts I couldn't even take it. "how can I be happy without you?"

"I was never in your life to begin with Koeun. I'm just a soul. I'm not alive."

"You are in here." I argued, he was very much alive in my world.

"We both know that we can't be together, Koeun-ah."

"It's so unfair." I hissed, I was having a hard time breathing because of the pain I felt.

Mark hugged me tight, caressing the back of my head as I continued on crying on his shoulder. I also wrapped my arms around him, not wanting to let go. Not wanting this to end.

When I stopped crying, I suddenly felt okay in a weird way. I knew this day would come sooner or later, I just didn't know that it would come so soon.

I wanted Mark to be happy, I want him to be finally at peace. I want his agony to stop.

"I promise, Mark. I promised to be happy."

We broke the hug as we faced each other, gazing at each other's orbs as we both smiled.

"You deserved it."

Can you also promise me one thing?" He looked at me and nod, "can you not forget me?"

I saw him smiling, damn that sweet smile of his, he suddenly kiss my forehead as he said, "how can I forget you? You loved me who was a lost soul. Literally."

We chuckled and he kissed me again.

"I will never forget you, Koeun. I promised."

We stayed there and watched as the sun finally rised for the both of us, I knew that this dream can end any minute.

His hand found its way into my nape as he slightly pulled me towards him, I wrapped my arm around his neck and closed my eyes as our lips met. It was supposed to be our first kiss, who thought it'd also be our last.

As I opened my eyes, I saw Mark smile for one last time as he stood up and looked at the risen sun.

As I also stare at the scenery in front of us, I know that this is the last time.

I woke up because of Minhyung's barking, I saw streaks of light gravitating on my room. I knew it was him. It was Mark finally going to the heavens. I knew it was time, but I still wanted to try, maybe if.. I tried to ask him to stay he will.

"Mark.." I said, he looked at me with a smile on his face, I couldn't help but feel hurt. "Please don't leave me."

"Goodbye, Koeun." He said, slowly I can see him disappear, I was practically crying now

"Please don't.. I'm begging you, please stay."

But I know he couldn't stay.

"Thank you.. for everything."

So instead of begging and stopping him, I smiled as tears fall on my eyes continously. I remembered our promise in my dream. I remembered the memories. I will never forget him.

"Thank you, Mark." I said before he can finally disappear, "I will always love you."

I saw his smile for one last time until he finally disappeared completely.

That was the last time I ever got to saw Mark Lee.

It's been 2 months now since he went up to the heavens. It's been 2 months that I also been crying over him. It's been 2 months since I last saw him.

I knew for a fact that I had to stop and move on eventually but what can a girl do? He made me feel like I am not hard to love and that I deserve every happiness this world can offer.

I've been studying again, online courses for photography with Jaemin and Hina, I kept myself busy to distract myself from Mark's absence.

I have also not cleaned my room for a long time now. I don't have the energy to do so.

"Hey unnie, let's order pizza." Hina suddenly suggested as we were hanging out in my room, Jaemin was also sitting on the floor playing with Minhyung but he lit up and agreed on the snack

"I'll go make a call then." I said, "pizza and cider?"

"How about beer?" Jaemin suggested and Hina agreed

"Are we really going to drink?" I raised an eyebrow but the 2 just smiled at me with their cute grins and I sighed "how about Chicken and Beer instead?"

"I want pizza too, though." Hina pouted and I just gave up and shook my head

I went over to my work desk to find my notebook where I put in the numbers of the nearby restaurants in my neighborhood.

I was busy flipping the page as I saw some handwritings on my notebook. It wasn't my handwriting so I suddenly felt weird.

"Noona, can you ask the delivery guy to make the chicken extra spicy?"

My thoughts were disturbed by Jaemin as I fumble with the pages and finally saw the numbers of this chicken restaurant. I dialled and called to place an order then called the pizza place to place an order on that food.

I stared at my notebook and closed it for now, I'll investigate on it later.

When the food arrived, the 3 of us were watching a romantic movie titled "If I Stay" I couldn't help but get into it as I saw how the girl character fought herself to wake up for the love of her life.

I imagined myself in her situation. What if I met Mark before the accident, would it change anything? Would it change his fate? Will he still be alive? And would we fall in love?

Those questions will always going to be just 'what ifs'.

It was already midnight. Jaemin was asleep on the floor with Hina beside me on the bed. I couldn't sleep at all even with 9 cans of beer I intake, I was still sober and wide awake.

I stood up carefully and quietly not wanting to wake up Jaemin and Hina from their slumber as I sat on my work desk to read the scribbles on my notebook.

I saw some of my unfinished writing was there. I couldn't bare to finish writing the dreams I typed on my phone since it was still painful for me.

When I reached the middle page of my notebook I saw an unfamiliar handwriting. It was messy, but still readable.

I turned on my desk lamp to get a better sight of what was written.

Suddenly, tears start to fall as I realized who wrote it.

‟Let me remain in your memories, until always."
- love, Mark

I smiled widely as tears kept on falling, I closed my eyes and nod my head.

You will forever be in my memories, Mark. Forever and always.