𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 | 𝘾𝙤𝙡𝙗𝙮 𝘽𝙧𝙤𝙘𝙠

six

Once again, I woke up alone. Sad and wanting to cry. It kills me not being able to wake up next to Colby like I always did, but I cant be near him right now.

After laying in bed for 2 hours staring at the ceiling and thinking I decided I needed to get up and do something to get my mind off of this situation. What better way to do so then go to the beach. I grabbed my bathing suit, sunglasses, camera, and an extra pair of clothes, then ran out my door. Before I got in my car I turned my camera on.

"Hey whats up guys. Maddi here! I'm going to the beach today so I thought why not vlog it."

I laughed. It felt good to laugh.

"Anyways, i'm about to head out right now and drive there so enjoy this little montage of the drive"

I turned off my camera and put some music on.  I shuffled through my playlist for what seemed like forever. Until "better off" by Jermey Zucker and Chelsea Cutler came on. I wanted to change it but I think it's better to cry it out now. I sang the words with them.

"We know that this won't last. not like it used to. and I'm okay with that. but not if i lose you."

I paused hoping that if I didn't sing along it would hurt as much. The music played in the background. "maybe we're better off alone" I switched the song. I need to listen to happy music. Something that wont make me think about him. I put "blind" by Huey Mack on then at a red light I grabbed my camera to vlog a driving montage.

~2 hours later~

"Finally here! I need food in me right now. I think i'm gonna try to find a Taco Bell or something"

I turned my camera off again. I'm not even hungry, thinking about eating really makes me want to throw up. I ended up going to Taco Bell anyways and getting a Baja Blast soda and one soft taco. Might as well try to eat something.

I vlogged a bit more while trying to push the thought of Colby out of my head. I ran down the beach barefoot. I felt good. Free. When I got to the water I stood there with my feet touching the sand and water moving over my feet. I stared out into the ocean. I ran back a little and put a towel down to sit on. I made sure to get a shot of the water crashing down. It was so beautiful. I laid down for a little under the sun. Suddenly I heard a very familiar voice.

"Colby?"

"Maddi?"

It got silent.

"Mads what are you doing here?"

"Um, I don't know I just thought it would be a nice day to come to the beach."

"Oh."

"Yeah"

It was silent once again.

"Well what are you doing here"

"Pretty much thought the same thing. Plus I wanted to clear my head. This is normally where I come to do that so"

"Yeah. Yeah I know that."

"Yeah. Well if you're busy i'm just gonna keep walking"

I laid back down ignoring what he said. I want him to stay but it hurts so much.

"Colby, you can stay. If you want"

He turned around and sat next to me on my towel. Not as close to me as he normally would. We were around 3-5 feet apart. This is so awkward.

"I'm sorry Madds. I never thought that something like this would happen to us."

"Neither did I"

It was silent again. I stared at the ocean. I could tell he was looking at me. I looked back at his beautiful blue eyes. He smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back. I moved closer to him and laid my head on his shoulder. I know this is stupid but I can't not love him.

"I gotta go Colby, i'm sorry"

"It's okay Madds."

I got up and grabbed everything but my towel. I wasn't gonna make him get up and give it to me. I started walking back to my car thinking about how stupid I was to do that. Im trying to get over him and distance myself but it's so hard. It's crazy how in love with someone you can be. I drove home listening to country music. I stopped listening to it for a while because Colby doesn't like it. It felt good to be able to do things that I like that he doesn't. When I got home I started editing the footage I got today so I could post tomorrow.

Hours passed by while I was editing. I checked my phone to see hundreds of texts from my groupchat with the girls.

Kat
MADDI GET READY                                 8:00pm

Me
why?                                                               8:01pm

Kat
we are going out tonight i don't care if you want to or not. i'm coming to pick you up in an hour. you better be ready.                         8:01pm

I didn't answer. I knew I wasn't gonna get out of going out tonight. I hopped in the shower and stood in there for 5 minutes just letting the hot water run down my back. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my cold body while walking into my room. Hmmm, what do I wear. I grabbed a blueish american eagle crop top. It was actually a dress shirt of Colbys but I took it and cut it because it was too cute not to. Then I put on a pair of black ripped jeans that made me butt look really good. Lastly I slipped on a pair of blue and black vans. I know they're gonna say something about my choice of footwear but whatever. I put some light makeup on and as I was finishing up I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in Kat! I'm in my room"

I heard the door open and footsteps up to my door. Then they stopped. I turned around hoping to see Katrina.

"Colby? What are you doing here?"