A/N- trigger warning for suicide and suicide attempt
Evan Hansen is dead. He's almost certain of it.
Well, certain because things changed after he died. And if for the better or good, well, he wasn't exactly sure.
It was like the universe wiped away all his mistakes. Him lying to the Murphy's, The Connor Project, all of it.
Especially Connor dying. Somehow, he lived, and Evan died.
Evan woke up in Ellison State Park, confused, scared, and lost. He still remembered everything he did to Connor and his family, and was convinced that this was the universe exacting revenge on him.
He could leave Ellison, but he couldn't talk to anyone or get any help. He could only watch the world pass by.
Connor looked like he was getting help at last. He looked similar to the first day of school, but he smiled more than he saw him during his high school career. Even things between him and Zoe were starting to mend.
But Connor would sometimes look directly at him, like he was real, and not trapped in another reality.
It gave him hope. Evan wouldn't lie about that. Those brief moments made him feel less invisible, like he mattered just for a second, even if he'd never talk to Connor.
"Why the fuck are you hanging around me?" Connor had asked at last, one day, and it made everything Evan thought was real crumble into dust.
The times Connor looked at him weren't coincidences, they were intentional, because Evan had been following him around like a fucking creeper for about a week.
"You can- you can see me?"
"What are you...?" Connor tried to touch him, but his hand just waved through his arm. He shivered, retracting his hand. "You're cold."
"I'm dead," Evan didn't mean for it to sound so monotone, but it was something he'd just accepted at this point. "I'm... a ghost."
It was bewildering at first, for the both of them. Evan wasn't used to talking to others, and sometimes Connor couldn't, because he was around other people, so they'd probably think he's insane.
"You know, I haven't heard that you died," Connor stated matter-of-factly, as he redid his nail polish. They'd known each other for roughly two weeks,
"Then how am I a ghost?" Evan persisted, watching him, bored out of his mind. He hadn't gotten the hang of possession just yet so he couldn't do anything fun.
Connor just shrugged, finishing a coat. "I dunno. It was just a thought."
Suddenly Evan couldn't get that thought out of his mind. Why didn't anyone talk about his death? It would've been a minor mention at most, since he literally dropped from a fifty foot tree. News stations probably did every person who passed away in their town, so Evan wouldn't be an exception.
Would he?
"Let's go to a graveyard," he suddenly stands up with the need to know, because what if he isn't dead? What will that even mean? Distinctly, he has an idea, and he doesn't like it.
"Evan, it's like, ten at night," Connor gave him a confused look.
Evan groaned loudly, digging his hands into his hair. "Fine! I'm going by myself!"
"Evan! No!" For a moment, Connor sounded worried for him, and he didn't know why. He bit his lip before saying, "Don't go on your own. Just... give me a minute to change."
