The End Of The Decade

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Everyone was freaking out about the end of the decade, and while Connor understood the reasoning, he didn't go over the top with it.

People kept talking about it, saying stuff like 'last Sunday of the decade!!!', and in general, made memes to cope with everything ending.

Connor thought it was ironic he was graduating in the new decade. In a way, he found it depressing, sort of like giving up his entire childhood all together. So many things had happened in the last ten years, and so much had changed. iPhones were introduced and evolved over time, gay marriages were legalized, the LGBTQ+ Community gained more visibility in general, and just so much more.

But he was okay with the decade ending. He was nervous for the future, he wouldn't lie about that, but he was also excited for it.

Evan however, didn't seem okay with it.

Whenever someone in their gang would bring up the ending decade, Evan always looked upset and unsettled, and while Connor wanted to talk to him about it, Evan brushed him aside when the topic came up, insisting that it wasn't anything important and that he was okay.

It was obvious he wasn't.

Originally, the gang had planned to stay up at Connor and Zoe's house up into the new year, but with how Evan was acting, they all decided they'd go over to the latter's house instead.

So that was why Evan found Alana holding a plate of cookies, Zoe carrying plastic cups, Connor holding two bottles of sparking grape juice (both purple and green, because he was classy), and Jared holding a bag of Doritos (along with basic sleepover stuff).

"We thought we'd bring the party to your house!" Alana chirped happily.

"Um... my mom is sleeping," Evan bit his lip, but let them in anyways.

Connor set the sparkling juice down on the end table. "We'll be quiet, right everyone?" He flashed a look at them.

They all gave different signs of approval, like head nods, thumbs up, and fakingly zipping their lips and throwing away the key.

"So what're we watching?" Zoe took a seat on the couch, where Alana joined her a moment later.

"I— have the Star Wars movies? We could have a m-marathon?" Evan offered hesitantly.

"Star Wars? Hell yeah! That's like, my childhood!" Jared proclaimed, excited at the mention of the well known franchise.

"Bottoms up, everyone," Connor joked, pouring some sparkling juice into a few of the cups, before passing them out as Evan set up the movie.

Jared downed his cup in five seconds tops.

"This stuff is gonna be gone before the nights over," Alana looked at Jared's cup, and then her own, which she hadn't even had a lot of to start with.

Zoe snorted, "It always runs out at our Christmas dinner."

"Because we have over thirty relatives over that day," Connor added on, spreading out a blanket on the floor, among with pillows to prop them up.

"Can't relate," Jared was smirking. "My family just hangs with Evan's for a couple of hours each night on Hanukkah."

"My and my dad's just celebrate on Christmas Eve cause the rest of the family can't stay past then," Alana shrugged. "After that, I just watch Hallmark movies."

"That sounds really nice and chill," Zoe smiled at her, "Nothing at all like ours."

Alana giggled, "Maybe next Christmas I'll invite you over? We'll see."

"I'm gonna uh... m-make the popcorn," Evan stood, letting the movie start to play as he went into the kitchen.

"Hey," Connor decided to follow him, watching as he stuck a bag of popcorn the microwave. "Is... is everything okay with you? I've noticed you've been a little distant lately, and I wanted to check in."

"I've— I've been o-okay," Evan was biting his lip as he started the machine up. Occasionally, he'd roll it between his teeth as well.

"You sure?" Connor turned him around and held his hands with extra care. "Any dysphoria? Binding problems?"

Evan flashed an uneasy smile at him. "Y-Yeah. All that's good."

As much as he wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on with Evan, he knew that Evan would keep lying, despite how obvious it was that he wasn't okay. He pulled Evan into a big, tight hug in an attempt to silently comfort the blond. He didn't miss the fact that Evan was surprised by it, but slowly melted into it, which usually he returned hugs eagerly. He swayed from side to side as they embraced, knowing it was something Evan found entertaining Connor added on among the hugging.

They separated once the microwave beeped, and once the popcorn was dumped into a big, white bowl, they allowed it to be passed around as the movie played.

Evan couldn't seem to focus on the movie, but kept his eyes on the screen never the less. Connor kept an arm around his shoulders, and would often times give his cheek a kiss (that'd make Evan laugh quietly and briefly, and while Connor wanted more of a reaction than that, he still settled for it in the end).

It was sort of obvious Alana was whispering some plot holes to Zoe, because they'd often times laugh at something that wasn't even funny, and they were just being weirdos, but sometimes they brought up good points.

Jared was happy to be with his friends once again, and didn't mind being a fifth wheel. He was incredibly happy with the movie and would reminisce at certain parts and quote them sometimes.

But still, Evan wasn't doing okay. He wasn't feeling better.

"Okay, what's up?" Connor whispered into his ear as a somewhat intense scene played on the tv.

"I—" Evan swallowed unsteadily. "I don't know what—"

"Bullshit," he said firmly. "Something's making you upset, and I want to help you, damn it, but I can't if you won't say anything."

Evan fell silent, but not just to avoid the question. He was picking at his nails, staring at them, as his lip got screwed into his mouth once again. Connor was able to recognize the fact that he was getting anxious, and began giving him a back rub, making little abstract patterns in the slightly baggy polo he wore.

"Things are changing," Evan finally said at last. "We're changing. We're growing up. How long till we d-drift apart?"

He didn't just have Connor's attention; he had everyone else's, and the movie was long forgotten.

"We're graduating this year. In 2020. It's like— it's like our childhood is being ripped away from us and— and we have to grow up, and know what we're doing, and to give up c-childish things," Evan hugged himself. "How long till we have to give each other up? When you— you realize you won't need me— us— anymore?"

"You're scared of loosing us," Connor realized, and he felt stupid for not seeing it sooner.

"Evan, I've known you since diapers. I'm not gonna ditch you," Jared assured. "I know my actions from the past don't really reassure that but— I won't. You mean too much to me."

"You're one of the few students who actually expressed care for me," Alana added. "I'm not giving you up, or anyone."

"Even if things started out rocky between us, our bond is made of steel, and nothing can break it," Zoe smiled at him.

Connor held his hand. "And I'm not going to call it quits on us. You gave me something to fight for, so I'm gonna fight for it, because I'm not ready to loose you, and I don't think I ever will be."

Just from Evan's expression, Connor could tell he was grateful. "Thanks everyone. I... I think I feel more ready than I was before."

In reality, it was impossible to tell what the future had in store, but with friends by their side, they'd be ready for it.

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