VAGUE (Sequel Of TRANCE)

5.

Pain is the only thing that I feel. But why?

Is it because you left?

Or because you didn't come back.

Or is it because I spent so many nights awake waiting for your return?

I don't know why this pain, especially when I am right where I wanted to be, in your arms.

Why my heart instead of fluttering,  is constricting?

Why the face that used to take my breath away, is now making it hard for me to breathe?

Why the arms that used to feel so warm, are so cold today?

Why, though my heart is racing I feel like I don't have one?

Why is there no way, that can lead me to where you left off?

You are standing right here in front of me, then why my eyes are searching for you?

You found me but then why do I feel like I lost you?

We are so close, but then why do I feel the distance of miles between us?

Why do the eyes staring back at me, feels so blank?

I am trying to run away from you, against my heart's will. Then why fate is hell-bent on making me fall in your arms?

Averting my eyes from the blank browns, I stood slowly. Smoothed my dress and looked anywhere but at him.

I don't want to see his ignorance of me. I hate the look of me being a stranger to me.

My throat is dry. Eyes cast down, I nervously said, "thank you."
And took steps to pass him. Trying to avoid him at all costs. 

But my steps were halted by a grip on my wrists. My breath hitched, and  I squeezed my eyes tightly to keep my tears at bay. Then turning slowly, I looked straight into his eyes then his hand on my wrists, silently telling him to leave it.

I even whispered, please.

But he remains passive. No emotions. He is looking for something on my face.

But what?

Only if he knew what effect his actions have on me. 

Things are already hard for me and his always holding my hand is not helping my already suffering emotions.

"Please," I whispered slowly with pleading eyes, to the man whose eyes twitch then very slowly, he removes his gaze from my face to his hand on my wrists.

He looks at our joined hands with contemplation. I feel his hands twitching as if he is deciding to leave it or not.

In past, it used to be so easy for me to read him but today no matter how hard I attempt, I fail to read him.

It feels like he is more of a stranger to me than I am to him.

For a few minutes, Xander kept starting our joint hands, I am unknown of the intention of his gaze. But what I know is, I need to get away from him.

The sentence though is heart-shattering but the harsh truth of my life.

I opened my mouth to plead again but was interrupted by Jordan, "hey Iris here is Ethan's suit. Now your man can relax and you too my dear."
Jordan, as usual, was cheerful about his attainment.

Xander immediately left my hand, and it was now me staring at where he held my hand.  I rubbed my wrists where he held them. Moving away from him I went towards Jordan.