Mr. Entertainer - The Beginnings

Part 5 - Wear and Tear

After a few months, the company agreed to let me go on tour with Hobi. I got that remote job two weeks after Hobi went back home. Now I'm on the flight on my way to him. When I arrived, I expected to see Hobi waiting for me but he wasn't. There was the security guard there that took me home last time. I got in the SUV with him and the assistant was already there waiting for me. On the ride to my hotel from the airport, the assistant named Anna, began to go over my schedule for the next 7 months. Since I already sent her my work schedule, she made sure I would not have anything scheduled during that time. Only things I brought with me are a few outfits, my laptop for work, and female essentials. I packed light because I knew that I would be packing often and staying in many different hotels throughout these months on tour. I kind of zoned out a little during the explanation of my schedule because I couldn't stop thinking about how Hobi was not there to meet me at the airport like he said he would. As I'm lost in thought, I heard key words...separate hotel rooms?! "Wait...what? You're saying that Hobi and I can't stay in the same room?" I asked. Anna then put her phone down and looked at me. "It's for appearances. He cannot be seen with a girlfriend. As far as his fans know....he doesn't have one." Anna said with sorrow in her tone. I was shocked and hurt. This would explain why he wasn't at the airport! Or why we will be staying in separate rooms. I just don't understand. In America, when an artist dates, they don't loose fans! They gain some from the artist they're dating or celebrity. This whole concept of hiding your love life is new to me. Anna sensed that I was lost in thought so she put away her phone and left me alone to process all of this.

We arrive to the hotel, I am so tired! I walk in my room and set my bags down. I close the curtains in my room and then lock the door. I take off my jeans, shoes and get in bed. I knock out! When I wake up, I look at my phone and it's three in the morning but one in the afternoon in America. So I'm wide awake! I turn over to find Hobi sleeping right next to me! He looks so angelic. Tears roll down my face. I'm so emotional when I'm with him...I can't believe it. I cuddle with him and surprisingly, I fall right back to sleep. When I wake up, it's 8:30am here but Hobi is not in bed with me. Did I dream him? "Oh good! You're up." I turn and from the bathroom a light comes on. I see Hobi standing in the bathroom doorway. He looks so angelic! "You still sleepy?" He asks. I get up and hug him. He was in the middle of brushing his teeth. He stopped to hug me back. "Is everything okay?" He asks. I pull back and my eyes are full of tears when I say, "Yes. I am happy now that I'm here with you." He tells me he ordered breakfast for us. We get back in bed and talk about my schedule, secrete shopping getaways, and made promises to be honest with each other at all times. "Baps, please keep in mind that I won't be readily available to you when you want or need me. Which I know it's not fair. But I want you to make me another promise..." He said while grabbing both of my hands before he continued on saying, "...If at any point during this tour, you don't want to continue, please let me know. I don't want you to force yourself to finish this tour with me. Okay?" I just look at him with a perplexed look before I ask, "Why would I ever want to leave your side?" He smiled. "Tours are not easy. The traveling takes a lot out of people. Just look at how much you slept after a 14 hour flight." He said. I giggled. "I understand. But in the end it will all be worth it because of all the memories we will have together." I responded. He then stopped smiling. "Baps, we may not have that much time together. So you may need to hold on to that thought." He said. He then reached out and hugged me. I know we will be busy but I truly believe that if we make time for each other....things will be good.

A few months on the road and I'm feeling super exhausted. I really don't know how these boys do it? I thank God for Mickey (Hobi's dog) who has been my constant companion. Because at this point, I only see Hobi once every three days. Between my work schedule, his schedule, and all the travel arrangements...I barely get to see him! I am thankful they get a few days off coming up. But Hobi already told me were spending it in the studio. Dance or music studio. Every time I see him, its usually limited. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to find him asleep next to me. Other times, I am alone all night. I can't complain about it because he finds out from the staff and starts offering tickets to visit family or go home for a few days. I just don't understand why he feels so guilty about me being here...I am also concerned that we barely have sex anymore! I feel bad asking because he's so exhausted or when he is energized, its usually a quickie because he's go to be somewhere.
I am now in bed. Can't sleep. Lost in thought when I hear my door open. It's him. He looks exhausted! He lays down next to me and I kiss him. When I pull away, he's already sleeping. I start to cry silently because it hits me! He goes through so much to bring joy to Army. He puts in all of himself for them. I shouldn't be a burden to him. I should help him. I get up and pull out my laptop. I start to do some research. Before I know it, I hear his morning alarm! I close my laptop and wait for him to get up. "What are you doing up? It's six in the morning!" He asks. "I meant it when I said, I am coming with you to the studio." I responded. Then I got up and began to get ready. He was taken aback. He didn't know what to think. When we arrived seperately at the studio, I noticed it was just him. "Where is everyone?" I ask. He responded, "They will be in later. Right now I am working on new choreography." I then put my bag on the floor, I sit in front of the mirror, and pull out my camera. He looked at me weird and asked, "What are you doing?" I responded, "So we can review your progress and complete the chorreo. It's supposed to help you not forget your moves." He smiles. "I know that...I do that. But why are you recording? We have a camera over there that records at all times." He said as he points at the camera mounted on the wall above me. I laugh, and said, "I just want to help...I even looked up some dance moves that I thought were cool." He smiles, sits on the floor in front of me and says, "I love you."

To be continued...