Black Spider 》Avengers

Kick Names, Take Ass

This is my crew
Well this is my squad
This is my turf
Oh my gosh, look guys
We've got bigger fish to fry
Put your differences aside
'Cause right now we're on the same side
- Night Falls, Descendants 3

Ok, so far, I've learned that the three visitors go by the names: Mantis, Drax the Destroyer, and Peter Quill...oops, I mean, Starlord. And, you know, now that I've met them they kind of remind me of the Titans. Mantis is like another innocent version of Starfire. Drax is like a combination of Beast Boy and Cyborg, who is smarter than this guy. And Quill...he's just stupid

"The hell happened to this planet," Quill asked as he held up some kind of scanner. Yup, I'm just going to call him Quill because there's already a Peter. "It's eight degrees off its axis. Gravitational pull is all over the place."

I crossed my arms. "Surprised he knows what any of that means," I muttered. Seriously, the man thought Missouri isn't part of Earth.

"Yeah, we got one advantage. He's coming to us," Tony said. I furrowed my brows when I see Mantis jumping around to get a good feel on the gravity. Oh, god, they have their own version of Starfire "We'll use it. All right, I have a plan. Or at least the beginning of one. It's pretty simple. We draw him in, pin him down, get what we need. Definitely don't wanna dance with this guy. We just want the gauntlet."

Then Drax decided to let out a very loud yawn. Which got Tony pissed.

"Are you yawning?" he snapped as Drax continued to yawn. "In the middle of this, while I'm breaking it down? Huh? Did you hear what I said?"

"I stopped listening after you said we need a plan," Drax admitted.

I sighed. "We're doomed," I deadpanned.

Tony almost glared at Quill. "Ok, Mr. Clean is on his own page."

"See, 'not winging it' isn't really what they do," Quill sorta explained.

Peter raised his hand as if he was asking for permission to speak. "Uh, what exactly is it that they do?" he asked.

"Kick names, take ass," Mantis stated. That's when I actually gave her a look.

"Yeah, that's right," Drax added.

I motioned to them. "Do they have any idea what that actually means?" They make Starfire seem smart. I looked at Tony. "Do we really have to deal with this?"

"Unfortunately, we do," he sighed in annoyance as he gestured for them to get closer. "All right, just get over here, please. Mr. Lord, can you get your folks to circle up?"

"Mr. Lord," Quill mocked. "Star-Lord is fine."

"How about idiot instead?" I asked as I crossed my arms, getting angrier by the second the more we spend time with the...what do they call themselves? The Guardians of the Galaxy?

"Raven," Tony gave the little warning. I rolled my eyes and motioned for him to continue. "We gotta coalesce. 'Cause if we all come at him with is a plucky attitude..."

"Dude, don't call us plucky," Quill said. "We don't know what it means." It's almost a compliment from Tony's part. "All right, we're optimistic, yes. I like your plan. Except it sucks, so let me do the plan...and that way it might be really good."

I raised my brow at Quill. "And what is this fabulous plan? Kick names, take ass," I mocked with a hint of sarcasm.

"Tell them about the dance-off to save the universe," Drax told him as if it were something to be proud of.

"What dance-off?" Tony asked.

"It's nothing," Quill started to stutter. Oh, please. In any other situation, he might have bragged about it.

"Like in Footloose, the movie?" Peter wondered.

Quill actually gasped. "Exactly like Footloose." I'm getting annoyed. "Is it still the greatest movie in history?"

"It never was."

I groaned. "Everyone, shut up!" I shouted. Why didn't I stay with Doctor Strange on that rock? "Ok, this is Thanos we're talking about. He's not gonna go away because he lost in some stupid dance battle. He will kill everyone here in order to get the Time Stone, which we have to protect."

Tony gently grabbed my arm and pulled me aside before I could beat the Guardians. "Rae Rae, relax. You're inner demon almost showed. You're right. We're not gonna get any help from Flash Gordon here."

"Flash Gordon?" Quill almost scoffed. "By the way, that's a compliment. Don't forget, I'm half-human. So that 50% of me that's stupid..." he motioned to the guys and me, "that's 100% you."

"Your math is blowing up my mind."

"And I'm cambion, you idiot," I corrected Quill.

"I don't care if you're Cambodian," Quill stated.

Tony gave him a look. "No, dipshit. She's literally 50% demon. Her father is literally Satan."

Mantis gave us worried looks. "Excuse me," she stopped our bickering. "But does your friend often do that?"

I looked over at Strange. His head was jerking back and forth as he was using the Time Stone to see into the future. I get why Mantis is concerned. Strange looks like he's having a seizure.

"Strange, you ok?" I called out. I didn't think he heard me but his head kept jerking back and forth violently. He looked like he was in the middle of a horror movie with his facial expressions. I slowly made my way over, only for Strange to gasp out and come out from his trance. I grabbed onto him to make sure he didn't fall. I gave him a worried look. "Hey, you're back. You're all right."

"Hey, what was that?" Peter asked as the group joined us.

"I went forward in time to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict," Strange started explaining.

"How many did you see?" Quill asked.

"Fourteen million six hundred and five."

"How many did we win?" Tony wondered.

"One."

》》》》

A/N: Only two more chapters until Black Spider is over. And that means only two more chapters until a certain waterworks scene is about it happen.