Of Course I Love You

Things I Wish I Could Say

Tobin's POV

"Hey Tobs?" I hear the girl of my dreams say above me. We were cuddling in bed right before we had to head into the lobby to leave New York. I was kind of excited to go home in a weird way. The house should be done next week and to say I was excited was an understatement.

"Yes my love?" I replied to her. I watched her cheeks flush at the name and I couldn't help but smile. Christen Press was adorable but the way she could just switch to sexy in a second blew my mind.

Her hand found the strings of my sweatpants and she started playing with them. "Well I was just thinking, I might miss you tonight...". My smile grew wider. How is she so fucking cute?

"Well I might miss you too. I'll be home alone if you wanna keep me company". She jumped up and down excitedly like a cute child. She was perfect in every aspect and I have no idea why she would date me but that's besides the point.

"Thank god! I thought I'd go crazy without my daily dose of Tobs".

"Well good thing my girlfriend won't have to go insane". She smiled when I said this but said nothing. "What Press?"

"Hmm?" She hummed in response.

"Why are you smiling so wide? Not that I don't like it because I absolutely love when you smile".

"I just like that"

I furrowed my eyebrows and gave her a confused look, "like what?"

Her face fell red once again but she quickly answered the questioned. "You calling me your girlfriend".

I couldn't help but to smile. My cheeks were aching but I loved feeling this happy. I haven't been this happy in a long time and it feels nice. For a while I had been struggling to find anything that made me genuinely feel. In a weird way I felt subjected to my own feelings and locked away in my own head. Christen makes me feel alive. We laugh until our abs hurt and smile until our cheeks do, and that's the only pain I feel from her.

I cupped her face in my hands and slowly took her bottom lip between mine. I kissed her softly to show her how much love I had for her. Every time her lips find mine it feels like the first time all over again. The same nervous energy and butterflies engulf me along with the sparks and the feeling like this is where I belonged. I released her lips reluctantly as we had to go down to the lobby.

I held her hand in mine. Time to go home I guess. I wasn't that excited to return this week but the house will be done soon. It's not that I don't love being with my aunt; She's an amazing woman but she's also extremely busy. It's always me in that large mansion by myself and I hated feeling the burden of loneliness that surrounded me.

I felt Christen squeeze my hand three times. I assumed she was trying to get my attention so I looked at her.

"You okay Heath?"

"Yeah. Just thinking"

She squeezed my hand again three times. It must be her way of acknowledging me you know? To tell me that she's here or something.

Christen's POV

I could tell she didn't know about the hand thing which was kinda nice in a way. Three squeezes means 'I love you'. Yes okay. I love Tobin and I think I've always loved Tobin. I thought maybe I just really liked her and that's why my feelings were so adamant but it's deeper than that. I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her, I wanted to explore the world with her, I wanted to keep her safe, I wanted to make her smile, I wanted to keep her to myself. The thought that I couldn't be without her now that I had her scared me. She probably doesn't love me yet which is why I won't say it to her. I'm scared she doesn't love me or will never love me.

The hand squeezing gives me some relief. I can tell her that I love her without her knowing. I think the idea of saying it gets a weight off my shoulders.

Later that night

I've been home for a little bit. I put away my luggage and unpacked it all. I talked to my mom and caught her up on my trip and of course she asked a million questions about Tobin. Speaking of Tobin, I'm about to leave for her house. I missed her already and I needed to see her.

Grabbing the keys to my Jeep I made the trek to the Heath mansion. Maybe I should do something nice for her. I decided to stop at a gas station to buy her all her favorite candies. We talked about all of them the night I asked her endless questions to see who she was. I grabbed sour patch kids and skittles, Hershey's and milkyways, starbursts and gummy bears. Finally when my basket was full I paid for them at the register and continued driving to my girl's house.

DING

Toby💕 just come right up to my room beautiful no ones home

Me: of course loser

Her house never gets any less impressive. The front door was massive and I felt completely inferior to the large size of everything around me. I let myself into the house with my basket of candy. I headed up the large stairs, surprised they don't have an elevator.

Tobin was laying on her bed looking and smiling at her phone. A ping of jealousy fought through me. I wonder who she's texting that's making her smile so much.

I walked through the door and tried to shake off the uneasy feeling.

"Hey baby". She kissed my lips quickly. I tried to feign happiness but she saw right through me. "Chris what's wrong?"

"It's nothing. It's stupid".

"Anything that bothers you is not stupid. Your feeling matter and they sure as hell matter a lot to me".

I looked down embarrassed. I shouldn't even be upset but it's just the idea of her being with anyone else that hurts me. "I don't know. I saw you smiling at your phone and I got jealous about you getting that happy while talking to someone else".

Her melodic laugh filled my ears. Tobin Heath was laughing at me and I had never been more confused. "Yeah Tobs I get it. It was stupid". I continued to look at her dark grey sheets until her finger lifted my chin to look into her eyes.

"Chris I wasn't texting anyone. I was looking at a picture"

"Oh I'm sorry". I felt my heart still breaking. Why did this upset me so damn much?

"Here". She handed me the phone and I saw a picture of us. One we took in New York. Her lips found my cheek and I smiled so hard. It was the cutest picture ever and I couldn't help but smile. "See? That is why I was smiling at my phone. Look at how happy we are when we're together! I've never felt like this Chris".

I smashed our lips together in a passionate kiss, attempting to show her my live without verbally saying it. I put all my emotions and feelings into this kiss until breathing became an issue.

"Wow" she whispered.

"Wow is right".

She smiled at my once more before pulling me on top of her to cuddle. I had one leg between hers and teasingly pushed it up. I heard her gasp above me. This would be a fun night.