Notoriously Yours part two: Forgive And Forget

Chapter Eight - It's You

It has been 3 months since Bryce has got out. Our love is stronger than ever before. Like any other normal couple, we have our ups and downs. The arguments are always healthy and non-toxic. We don't argue over the pettiest things. Now, we do play fight over little dumb things but what couple doesn't?
Everything about our relationship now is amazing. I wouldn't trade it for the world. We express every feeling we have to each other, we no longer bottle things up inside until we explode. We have a clean, healthy relationship.
He's confessed to me where his aggressive behavior started and how he ended it and I totally understand that. I, too, was bottling up my feelings about our baby in heaven. I didn't get aggressive but I got depressed about it. Some days it's harder than others to know that our baby could've been here by now. The little baby could've been in school, we would've known the gender and have the name picked out. Every time I think about the baby, the feeling of knowing the gender signals me to it being a girl. At first, I would have wanted to name her after his mom but after him being arrested and ultimately abandoning her child, I just could never.
The baby fever is definitely hitting me hard. I just can't shake the feeling that I'm ready for our second chance at being parents. I think I want three or four kids. Boys can be in a sport like their daddy was and the girls can, too. I hope they aren't like me, I hope they stand out in school and don't let people treat them as if they're invisible. I want them to be treated like humans and for them to treat everyone the way they'd like to be treated.

Bryce is hanging out with Mark, I'm with Cassy at the mall. We're eating corn dogs at the food court. Cassy said "Mark said he's ready for kids. I told him that I would think about it. I'm not sure I'm ready though." I tell her "if you aren't ready then he needs to know. Don't get him ready to start trying if y'all aren't on the same page." She shakes her head and says "I really don't want kids. I just want to be the cool aunt or godmother to a baby."
I don't tell her about me being ready for kids because I feel like this should be a conversation that I have with Bryce first so that I know if we are on the same page or not. I sure hope that he is, after all those times he tried to impregnate me without talking to me first.

Once Bryce and I are back home, I snuggle up to him on the couch to let him know that I have something to ask. Cheesy? Maybe, but at least it softens him up to talk so brilliant? Yes!
Bryce looks at me curiously and says "whatcha want, babe?" It's time for the talk. A sudden wave of nervousness has hit me. I ask him "how are your feelings about babies and kids?" He chuckles a little bit like it's a dumb question and says "babe, I love kids. If I didn't, I wouldn't have tried to get you pregnant for so long." He does have a point. Why can't I just spit the question out. Why is it so hard to say "I'm ready to start trying." Bryce looks at me and smiles. Did I just say it out loud? Bryce said "trying for what" playfully. He knows exactly what I'm talking about but he wants me to say it directly so here I go, "I'm ready to start a family. I'm ready for a baby." Here goes Bryce and his bubbly love cartoon-like character saying "I have been waiting for this moment for what seems like forever". I figured he would have gave up on wanting a family by now. He says "I haven't said anything about starting a family because it's you that I have been waiting for. I want to start a family when you are ready".

It's been several hours since Bryce and I have had that conversation. He left an hour ago to go to town. I decided to stay home and call Cassandra and Mark over to have our movie marathon date night.
Cassy chose the twilight series for today's movie marathon. Mark doesn't seem to keen to watch it, but in his defense, he has mentioned before that he isn't a vampire movie fan. He says they are basically the same movie with different characters; sexy mystery man falls in love with normal new or loner girl, finds out he's a vampire and that's pretty much it.
Bryce comes in with 4 bags. 2 look like they have snacks and food to eat while we binge, I don't know what are in the other two but I have a feeling that we are about to find out. Bryce lines up all the different products on the table. "So, Kimmy and I have decided that we are going to start trying for a baby.... that's where all of this come to play..." he pauses to get ready to describe all of these things and goes "this is obviously a book, a book full of tips and tricks on how to conceive. This is a type of tea that supposedly helps with fertility" he goes on and on with all of these things that help with conceiving. There's a weird pillow that he pulls out and he says "study shows that after sex, it's best for the woman's hips to be upward to avoid semen leaks for 30 minutes, this is a pillow that helps make those 30 minutes a little more comfortable. Can't have my baby uncomfortable!"
I look over at Mark and Cassy, whom seem to have tension, probably because Bryce is showing all of these things to help us make a baby, and he can't get Cassy on board with wanting to do the same. I feel bad for them, this has to tough on both sides.
Mark jokingly says "see, babe, we could have all of this stuff at our house if we were on the same page," practically throwing major shade at her for not wanting kids.