Live, Laugh, Love [COMPLETE/PUBLISHED]

Chapter 6

 I sit back down in my seat and he does the same. "Thank you," he says.

"I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for me," I reply, picking up my menu.

Let me explain this real quick, I want to find out why he makes me feel the way that I do. I'm not going to directly ask him, but there is no harm in exploring whatever this is. There is just something different about him. I can't explain it. I'm just scared that he is going to leave, taking my life with him. How did this man, whom I barely know, make me feel so alive in the mere minutes I have known him?

"Okay?" He replies confused. We sit in silence for a few moments longer.

"Are you going to talk or are we just going to sit here in silence?" I ask looking up from my menu.

"Oh, um-" He is cut off by the waiter coming over to our table and asking us for our orders. They scribble down our order and leave us alone again.

"I just wanted to know, why did you run when we met? Normally people say thank you or something, but you just ran."

Oh, that. Not, I felt this when we met and I was wondering if you felt the same way.

"Lia?" A voice asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. Lia? I haven't been called that in years.

"Don't call me that," I say harshly. He flinches at my tone.

"I'm sorry, Ophelia."

"It's fine. Um, I ran, because I needed to get somewhere," I lie.

"You know, you are a horrible liar. But, it's fine, you don't have to tell me. I think I know why I was just hoping you could confirm my answer." That doesn't seem creepy at all.

"That sounds a little weird, it may just be me."

"Sorry."

"Can you stop apologizing? You can't help the way you are." He nods and we sit in silence again. I have this feeling growing in my stomach. A feeling that I want to tell him everything about me. Last time I did that with someone, it ended with heartbreak. Threats. Depression. Alcohol. Drowning my sorrows.

The first few months of my life here, after him, I spent my days with a bottle in hand in my apartment with my own thoughts.

Am I good enough for this world?

Am I enough for myself?

Am I worth anything?

Is my life worth living?

I mean my parents didn't want me anymore, why should anyone else?

I tried to end things, I really did. But then I wondered, what would my parents think if they found out the daughter that they left died? Would they come to my funeral? Would there even be a funeral? I don't have any friends, it is not like anyone would care. The thing that held me back from doing it, was the fact that if I did, then my parents would be back. I don't want the people who made the way that I am to come back pretending to care. So I stopped myself, I stopped drinking and I got my life together. I got a job, a decent apartment, and I started to survive.

But surviving isn't living.

"I haven't been called Lia in a very long time," I blurt out breaking the silence. He looks me in the eyes with sincerity. That's something that I haven't seen in a long time. People always pity me. I hate it.

"Why?" He asks.

"My parents left me alone at home when I was 10 years old. I was sent into foster care and I aged out. I was on my own for years. I graduated from college and then a lot of things happened and I ended up here. I got a job and here we are now." He stares at me, shocked. I practically just told him my life story, minus a few key details.

"Why are you telling me this?" He asks.

"I honestly don't know." We lock eyes for a second making a connection that is cosmic. A connection that fate couldn't even see coming.

I finally realized what he meant earlier.

We both felt something that day.

A couple of days later...

Right after I met with Jasper, I left and booked another appointment with Rose Harper. I have been avoiding seeing her again, but I need it. I don't understand how the way I feel changed because of him. Nothing in my world makes sense anymore, because he changed it. He changed everything.

So many things have changed. I had to start going back to work. I have a sister who wants to meet me. Jasper turned out to be the guy who changed my life in a few seconds. What does that mean for me?

I pull up at her offices and I turn off my car getting out. She is practically giving me relationship advice for a relationship that doesn't even exist. My appointment starts any minute now and she comes walking out of her room and gestures for me to go inside. She follows me in and I sit across from her and she crosses her legs waiting for me to speak.

"I met someone," I blurt out.

"Okay, what about it," she asks.

"It was the guy that helped me after our first appointment. It turns out he was a coworker. Speaking of which, I was required to start going into work, because of something that happened. Then I got a promotion and then my sister texted again asking when we are going to meet. I asked for more time. Then that guy, my coworker, his name is Jasper, told me about a meeting that we needed to attend and it turns out it was him just emailing me to talk to me, because I wouldn't talk to him, for obvious reasons-"

"What are those reasons?" Rose asks, cutting me off.

"What if I become friends with him and he leaves? What if we end up as something more and we grow apart? What if he knows my parents and I met them and they want to be back in my life? They left me alone when I was 10." I kept rambling on and on until I couldn't find the words. Instead, tears found their way out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

"Did you ever think that you were making all these excuses? I'm not telling you to jump right in, that would be crazy, I think you just need to take a chance. If you ever feel unsafe that is when you get yourself out, but from the way you talk about Jasper, I don't think that he is like that. You can't let fear control you, because it isn't healthy. You just need to take a chance."

Later...

Today I thought that I was finally going to take that chance, but then I didn't understand anything that I felt, so it fell flat. I have learned one thing: I can't let fear control me anymore.

Jasper Atwater is changing my life.

I look at the few sentences that I wrote all week. How can someone change everything that I know so quickly?

Because he showed me kindness.

Isn't that what sister is trying to do?

lockhart.ophelia: Daphne, how does 2 PM at Starbucks on Grand sound?