The other Half of my Deen

part 4

I got up from the sofa to go to my room and change. I heard a knock at the door. I went towards the door and Abba gestured me to go in and that he'd open the door. I went up. Changed into better clothes. When I thought I looked presentable I went down.

I bend down near the stairs to see who it is. I saw two women, one of them is middle aged and the other is a couple of years older to me. This remind me of that dream. It still felt like reality. Like it really happened one day, like it was this day. Shoaib uncle with his family also was here.

I knew Rayyan was coming with his family today but I didn't know when they would come. I certainly didn't expect them to come in the morning. What was going on? I went down the stairs and saw Rayyan. I thought he would come in the evening. I freaked out. Then I ran into the kitchen without anyone noticing me. Ammi had set two trays neatly, one with tea and one with samosas. She told me to get them out to the hall when she called me. I waited in the kitchen for some time and then ammi called me. I picked the tray up which had the samosas and walked towards the hall. It's exactly how the dream was, except it was just samosas today. I reached the place where I had tripped in the dream. I was extremely nervous. Shivering almost. I tripped near the carpet. But I managed. It was samosas so nothing was spilt. I served everyone samosas. I didn't look at Rayyan. Then I went back to get the tea. I came back and Abba asked me to sit beside him.

Abba: this is Rayyan...

Nausheen: assalamu alaikum. J

I looked at him and smiled.

Rayyan and the people with him: walaikum assalam

Abba: Rayyan, how do you know Nausheen?

Rayyan: I go to the same university as her.

Abba: so, are you friends?

Nausheen: no Abba, we just know each other.

I kept quiet.

Abba: I've known him for a year. He comes to our masjid sometimes, he's a nice boy. He prays regularly, respects elders and loves kids. I like him. So, I called him here today. Zain likes him. They're friends. And if Nausheen wants to marry you then there's no reason to disapprove at all. It's ok. Rayyan wants to marry you. I talked to Zain already and he's happy with Rayyan. So, now it depends on you.

Rayyan: thanks so much sir. J

I didn't react. I was shocked. I didn't know how to react to this. They knew each other. Rayyan knew Zain. They were friends. Zain and Abba didn't let me know that they knew him. Abba agreed to this so easily.

Abba: if it wasn't for you Rayyan, I waouldn't even think of getting my daughter married before her education is complete.

I didn't move. I sat there like I was a statue. Ammi and Rayyan's mom talked. I could hear them but I didn't care to listen. Rayyan and Abba talked. I didn't care to listen to them either. I was spellbound.

The next morning was as usual. I went to class. I met Ayesha on my way Numara also was with her. I told them every detail of what happen that day.

In the lunch break, bell rang. I packed my stuff up and started walking towards the canteen. Rayyan joined me.

Rayyan: assalamu alaikum

Nausheen: walaikum assalam! :)

Rayyan: did you say yes yet?

Nausheen: no!

Rayyan: when are you planning to?

Nausheen: I don't know.

Rayyan: ok fine. Your friends are here. Bye.

He got up and left. We ate together. Everyday. Me, Rayyan, Ayesha and Numara. Suddenly today he acted like they were my friends and he was not. I think I spoke to him too rudely. I thought I should make it up for this. So, I decided to go home and tell mom that I like him.

Ayesha: hi!
Nausheen: hello!

Ayesha: what happened? Why did he go away?

Nausheen: I don't know.

Ayesha: you like him. Why are you making him wait? Just say yes.

Nausheen: that's the plan.

I went home that day and told my mom that I was ready to get engaged. Everything was fixed. I would get engaged in the vacation after this semester and my nikah would be after next semester when I got a long vacation. We exchanged contacts and talked on phone sometimes.

My semester exams had begun and a couple of days after my exams was my engagement. I just had one exam left and it was an electronics subject. I was not very good at it, so, I thought I can ask Rayyan for help. He didn't receive my calls or answer to my texts. I assumed he was busy with the preparations and ignored that. One night before my exam I was tensed, it was a difficult subject. I went to sleep. I slept by 11pm every night but tonight I was extra tensed. So it was mid night and I was still up and I hear my mom sob. I went to the door of my room and peeped out to see what had happened. My mom was sobbing and my dad was angry. He had tears in his eyes. It was the first time I saw them like that. They didn't want to let me know about it I'm sure.

Ammi: do you think we should tell her now?

Abba: no. let her finish her exam peacefully.

Ammi: she had so many dreams.

Abba: I know... but, I cannot believe Rayyan did this to us.

Ammi: did he tell anything? Any reason?

Abba: no, he just said that he's not interested in her anymore.

Ammi: oh god! I hope she doesn't break out. May Allah give her courage.

Abba: InshAllah! Nausheen is a strong girl.

I just sat down on the floor. My eyes were full with tears. Rayyan was MY choice. I had chosen him. And he had hurt me and my parents. I didn't shed a drop of tear. I controlled my tears. I wouldn't let a boy like Rayyan be a reason for my sorrow. I was strong and I will be. And if I was sad, my family would be too, I didn't want that. So I had to be brave. It took me the whole night to understand this. And in the morning was my exam. I didn't let my parents know that I know. Rayyan was gone.

I screwed up my last exam. He didn't talk to anyone I know. Most of his research was also over. So, he had told Numara to send his certificates to his friend's house in India, and Rayyan apparently had left the country. Numara, Zain bhai, Abba everyone was trying to find Rayyan just to ask him why. I'm confused too. But we all had to let it go.