Selcouth

All This Love I See

All This Love I See.

All this love around me I see,
I wish the love I gave was reciprocated to me,

I loved so much and trusted blindly,
But my heart was broken not so kindly,

I let myself fall so deep, so willingly,
That I embraced all the hurt smilingly,

I had seen it coming right from the start,
I still signed up to break my own heart,

How foolish I was, hoping it won't end,
A broken heart I won't have to mend,

But it's always the same, again and again,
I fall quickly, and shortly after follows pain,

I've learned now though, never again,
This time no falling, only heights I'll gain,

The memories hurt a lot, they sting,
The wounds are open, I can't do a thing

I wish I could bring my love back,
Its absence has painted my life black,

I wish I could hurt him like he hurt me,
But he's least bothered, happy and carefree,

I wonder how he can be so detached so quickly,
My skin was never layered so thickly,

I wish I could make him regret,
But even more, I wish I could forget,

I wish it didn't make a difference,
I truly wish it didn't, losing his presence,

But it does, it makes a huge difference,
And so far, I haven't been able to handle the consequence,

I wonder what my mistake was, if any,
If it was a huge one, or too many,

I was ready to rectify, ready for everything,
I had given my all, hadn't left anything,

Guess I'll never get the answers I want,
Guess I'll be the only one the memories will haunt,

All this love around me I see,
I wish the love I gave was reciprocated to me.

I wish I could turn off my feelings like a switch,
But my stupid heart continues to glitch,

I wish the old times would return,
I wish my heart wouldn't still continue to burn,

There's an ache there, a craving,
At this point, everyone's tired of my constant raving,

I can't get him out of my head,
He, too, can't get me out of his head,

He can just return back and I'll accept him,
Then surely my days won't be so dim,

I've tried, and I've lost, and I've cried,
I'm tired, too many times I've tried,

I want to stop wallowing in sorrow,
I want to believe it will be better tomorrow,

My enemy is my own self these days,
I've tormented myself in a lot of ways,

Sometimes I wish it never occurred,
I try to forget it with eyes blurred,

He should hurt just as much as me,
He shouldn't be allowed to roam guilt free,

He should also go through the same heartache,
Even he should have a smile to fake,

I know he hasn't forgotten me,
I know it will take more time to forget me,

I know I'm still on his mind,
He knows I'm exactly his kind,

He knows what we had was special,
He knows what we had was real,

But the time was wrong, I know that now,
I should get over it, I just don't know how,

He understood that it was wrong timing,
But I didn't, and I'm still pining,

Wish I could do it as easily as he could,
But, no matter what, I never would,

Maybe he is going through this too,
If he is or not, I got no clue,

If he would just come back, all will be well,
Even he knows this, I can tell,

If he just let me in again, everything will be fine,
But he's drawn around him a line,

A line that I won't be able to cross until he lets me,
He's put a lock around his heart and I don't have the key,

Guess I'll have to live like this for now,
"Move on." Can someone just tell me how?

All this love around me I see,
I wish the love I gave was reciprocated to me.

You know I love you,
And I know you love me too,

It's because you're so unapologetically and flawlessly you,
That I can't let go of you,

How can I let go of you?
When all I think of is you?

I know you still care,
You know you're being unfair,

But you will not do anything to correct it,
And I cannot do anything to correct it,

Wish I could, so badly,
But I just can't, sadly,

Can't you see?
That you're made for me?

You've just closed your eyes,
But I can see through all your lies,

I know it's the bad timing and the situation,
But I can't help my adoration,

We've got nothing and no one to blame,
What we had wasn't a spark, it was a flame,

I don't know about you,
For me it still burns bright and blue,

You've become my cancer,
The cure? I have no answer,

All this love around me I see,
And I wish you were here with me.

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By far the longest poem I've ever written.