Like The Devil (BxB)

Entry 25: Carlen's Pride

As I took hold of the dessert plate Carlen picked up his coffee and began staring out a nearby window.

I had a lot of questions on my mind. Knowing they would make him uncomfortable... Instead I chose to beat around the bush.

"You know about before... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it... It just I went back a couple of times and saw you.... With a bunch of boys and girls."

Immediately though he'd shot up and I realised.... No matter what, he did not want to discuss anything about the past with me.

I ended up yelping after him but it was pointless he was already presenting a  card to Gazelle.

I chased after him with a sigh.
"Carlen!  We can have an honest conversation... I mean it's all in the past and besides.... This isnt about us anymore it's for Aldwyns sake remember!"

He watched Gazelle as she sorted out the payment but quickly avoided me, making his way out of the cafe.

I scoffed chasing after him down onto the street..
" Carlen!? Why cant you just open up to me! You've always been an honest person except where it came to shit about me. So I don't understand why it's so hard for you to just be honest with what happened then..."

Carlen took out his phone leering at me.

" I don't think you realise Naiden. But not everything is about you... Or needs your interference. Aldwyn burned the mattress testing out his new chemistry set and I went to rehab because believe it or not I was raising Aldwyn while trying to run a whole fucking country. I began drinking and it was tough. Its the reason why I'm not president anymore. You need to stop asking stupid questions "

I gawped watching him spit lie after lie.

I laughed shaking my head at the floor as he continued making requests over the phone
" I'll stop asking stupid questions when you cut the bullshit. I can smell it from a mile away. "

At this point Carlen hung up the phone and tilted his head at me.

"You think you have it all worked out. You don't realise how stupid you look. You're forcing me into this uncomfortable Situation... For what, Our son? To pretend like everything's normal and like we're a normal happy family!?"
I winced at his words as he smirked.
" You're so dumb. Even I can see that Aldwyn cares about you as much as he cares about me. Not. At. All. 
This whole charade you've got going on... Is embarrassing. You want me to fake smiles and act like everything is great? I don't see why! The kid doesn't wanna be here just as much as me!"

I felt all fight escape me... A private car had crept up on us and now Carlen climbed in quietly, leering back at me with one final glance.

Aldwyn... Didnt wanna be here.
He was right about that.

Carlen... Didnt wanna be here either... And I was enquiring him about his private life...

His life that I forgot I was no longer a part of.

I wanted to get along... But it seemed the grudges were still there.

I sighed to myself in defeat sniffling the cold away trying to avoid crying out in public... But as I returned to Gazelle's to wait for a Cab... It didn't help that it started to pitter patter with rain.

It was funny... Staring up at the grey afternoon sky...

I just wanted us to be happy.
I didn't want to force anything. I wanted everyone to be comfortable and able to move on... But it seemed like... Just... Seeing Carlen was a mistake.

He hated me.

The car journey was quiet and I thought about how I wished I could spend more time with my son.