post it (SEQUEL TO BITE)

thirteen

i rush over to the woman who raised me, and wrap my arms around her petite body. "what the fuck are you doing here?" i ask her, hiding my face in her neck as i inhale her scent.

she smells like copper and sweat. 

"you're lying on the floor with foam coming out of your mouth, and you're asking me why i'm here?" she says angrily, gripping my shoulders and shoving me away from her. "what happened to you, rowan?"

"i don't know, mom," i reply, sighing deeply as the nurses take cautious steps toward my body. "they need to just call maggie and tell her what's going on."

"who's maggie?" my mother asks, tilting her head to the side slightly.

"my therapist," i groan, pressing my hands to my face. "dear god, these people don't know what the fuck they're doing!"

she nods and crosses her arms over her chest, watching with me as the two nurses finally grow the balls to press their fingers to my pulse points. 

"oh my god, there's no heartbeat." the female said, her eyes widening and filling with tears. "i killed a girl, richard, i killed her!"

"shut the fuck up!" the male, richard, spits, his hand running over his balding head as he stands up. "just let me think, miranda."

"we need to call maggie," miranda says softly, pulling a white sheet over my now, apparently, dead body. 

"yeah, no shit," i say in a growl, shoving my hand through my hair. i step closer to them, shouting, "you should've called her a long fucking time ago!"

my mother grabs my arms and wraps me in a hug, and that's when it hit me. 

i'm dead. i no longer had a heartbeat, and i will never be able to feel the deep thud in my chest. i'm lifeless, and lying beneath a white sheet in a psych ward in los angeles. 

tears stream down my face as the male rushes out of the room, and i can hear miranda praying over my body as a dial tone fills my ears. 

"maggie - it's miranda," the woman said, her voice catching in her throat as tears spill from her eyes. "i have bad news." 

she pauses a moment before speaking again, "it's about the patient in room B29 - yes, rowan...... yes, ma'am.... i don't know what happened, but i walked in here to give her her nightly medications and she was foaming at the mouth and-and.....no, ma'am....no pulse, richard even checked......ma'am-...."

i hear yelling over the phone before miranda drops the phone, a loud sob leaving her lips as she throws the white sheet to the side. she attempts to do chest compressions on my body, tears falling quickly down her cheeks and onto the material of the shirt i'd stolen from billie.

i hide my face in my mother's chest, falling to the floor as a sob leaves my own lips. i'm never gonna see her again - i'm never gonna feel her lips against mine, or kiss her in the rain..i'm never gonna leave this goddamned place.

minutes later, maggie barges into the room, billie hot on her heels. 

"mom, what- oh my god, ro.." billie's voice shakes in confusion as she falls to her knees beside my body. "no, baby..no.." she says repeatedly, taking my head into her hands as tears fall from her eyes. 

"who's that?" my mother asks, nodding towards billie.

"my girlfriend." i reply, pulling myself from her embrace. 

i take the few steps toward the crying girl and wrap my arms around her. her breathing hitches as her head lifts up. my hands shake slightly as more tears fall from my cheeks, and i brush her hair out of her face slowly.

"i'm okay, baby, i promise.." i whisper quietly, pressing my lips to her forehead. 

"this can't be happening," she mumbles under her breath, looking from me to my lifeless body. "this is impossible - someone tell me what the fuck is going on!"

she stands up and stomps over to the female nurse, who's moved from my body and into the corner. "what the fuck did you do!"

"i-i'm sorry, miss eilish-" the small lady cowards under billie's stance and stare. "it was an accident-"

"that's bullshit!" billie shouts louder, and maggie pulls the girl away from the woman. 

"billie, baby, we need to focus on bringing rowan back." maggie says softly, pushing a strand of hair behind billie's ear. "i know you can see her - tell her we need her to come back."

billie's eyes glance over at me, and then behind me, before back to me. "ro, please...i can't do this without you.."

"rowan, what is this girl talking about?" my mother says behind me, standing up and placing her hand on my shoulder. "how can she see you?" 

"because she's my soulmate, mother," i reply, taking a step toward billie. "i was born to be with her.. i can't let her do this alone."

"you're being ridiculous!" my mother shouted, gripping onto my arm and spinning me around. facing her now, i can see how much my mother doesn't even look like my mother. her voice got deep as she growled lowly, "you need to come with me, rowan."

i shake my head and pull my arm from her grip, immediately running to billie. i wrap my arms around the girl and whisper into her ear, "please help bring me back, bil.. i don't wanna die yet - i don't want to.."

billie nods and pulls herself from my embrace, kneeling down to my lifeless body and brushing my hair out of my cold face. she places her hands on my chest and starts the compressions. maggie watches in awe as, after a few moments of the chest compressions, my body begins to stir. 

the next thing i know, i'm opening my eyes as billie's arms wrap around me tightly.