Emotionally Compromised (#1) (Available On Amazon) [Preview]

Chapter 7 - Breaking All the Rules

     ALEX TURNER

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            We make it into his apartment in one horny piece, and I am still angry at myself for what I allowed to happen. And you wonder why the boys at the station won't give you respect when you can barely keep your pants on! Shut up subconscious. I've got the best damn aim in our department, and can hack a security system in record time. I deserve the respect. I am just human, susceptible to human emotions...unfortunately

             I can tell Jeremy is just as frustrated as I am, and he is visibly peeved. Before we entered his apartment I explained to him that this is all wrong, but the stubborn man that he is, he completely disagrees. Always defiant.  The thought makes me smile, and it shouldn't.

            I watch him walk around the kitchen. Is he pouting? Is he throwing an internal fit? I wish I could tell him the truth. He doesn't understand this is all so much harder for me than it is for him, but I can't mention why, at least not yet.

            Well, not until I touch base with Derek. The thought makes me sink because he won't want to hear this. What a mess I have gotten myself into. For a moment I get mad at Derek because I know the real reasons he won't want to hear this, and I know he will be territorial at first, but he has no right to be. As my boss? Maybe. As my ex-boyfriend? He better think again.

            I don't want to sit here and watch Jeremy upset at me. I may not be able to say anything, but I can't have him think that I don't want him, because let's face it: I've already come this far.

            I want him more than I thought possible. Who is doing the thinking? Your brain, or your libido, Agent Turner?

            The thought puts a bad taste in my mouth. My libido doesn't put the grin I have on my face, nor does it contribute to the constant butterflies and the lack of control I have on my heart rate.

            His persistence and domineering attitude has me reeling for more. I want someone to lead me rather than the other way around. It's a foreign type of want for me, but there is something oddly alluring about it. I want someone to want me, and he as sure as hell does.

            He opens the pantry looking inside and sighs. Is it because he can't find what he's looking for or is it because of me?

            He closes the cabinet and walks past me sitting on the counter, not giving me a glance. As he tries to make his way back again I grab for his shirt.

            I don't know what's come over me. I didn't know that I could be so bold in this department. I think it's coming down to I am realizing I just can't take it anymore.

            He gasps slightly at the pull, and looks at me blankly, I think confused. I know Jeremy, I am bipolar when it comes to wanting you...no, yes, no, yes...I get it!

            I do the only thing I want to do. He needs to know how I feel. I don't want him doubting me. I get this strangely wonderful sinking feeling that maybe we have potential.

            Did I just think that? Oh, man Agent Turner...

            I yank him closer to me so he's standing between my legs. For some reason I am already so comfortable around him.

            I smile weakly, "Please don't be mad at me," and pull him into a kiss, gripping his shirt, pulling him towards me.

            It's obvious he welcomes my lips to his as he lets his hands rest on either thigh, tightening his grip as the kiss persists, not wanting to let me go.