Blue Side (Jung Hoseok x Readers)

Chapter 13

You never found out what happened to the girl, Areum said nothing, and Hoseok certainly wouldn't say a word to you. In fact, he took off somewhere for a few days. It seemed that it was something he did every now and then because everyone in the house went back to their daily routine without batting an eye.

The air felt more liberating, but everyone was on edge, especially Areum. When you asked her about it, she shook it off. But you would hear her mumbling to herself that she hopes he's okay. There was only one person who she could have been referring to, and you wondered what he could be doing. Thinking about his job title, it occurred to you that he might be in some dangerous situations. You shouldn't have felt anxious about the situation, he brought it on himself for becoming this way. You shouldn't sympathize with him. But you secretly did hope that he will come back because you don't know what will happen to you if he doesn't.

And he did come back, unannounced. You were planning to spend another day in the library but once you came into the room, you almost had a heart attack. Hoseok lounged on the white leather couch, his red pajamas was a stark contrast to the whole environment. He looked like a mosaic of colors, hidden from the world and misunderstood. His eyes were closed. Judging from the empty beer cans on the ground, he had probably passed out. Your brain said it would be a horrendous idea to approach the predator, but everything in your heart told you to walk forward.

When you did, you saw that the corner of his mouth was bruised along with his cheeks. He had scabs wounds on his arms and his legs, at least from what you can see. You panicked, if he had bloody wounds like this, it would damage his body even more if he drinks alcohol. Carefully, you picked up the unopened beer can and tossed them in the trash cans. His chest puffed up and down, as it should. His cheeks had a soft pink hue, as they should. Staring at the wounds, you felt immensely sad, and pitiful. What could have happened to him that made him this way?

"Why do you keep drinking?" you asked, knowing full well he couldn't hear you. "Why can't you take care of yourself and stop making people worry about you?" You told yourself that it was Areum and everyone else that were worried while you were just indifferent.

"Why do you care?" His eyes slowly lifted open and they found you right away, they would always look at you.

It made you jumped, you weren't expecting him to wake up, let alone answer the rhetorical question. "I-I don't." you answered. "It's just not healthy to be drinking, especially when you're injured."

He laughed bitterly, feeling the soreness in his ribs and the hurt in his cheeks as he smiled. He always wanted people to worry about him, to look for him, to need him. Maybe that's why he got into this life because it was the only way he could be important. Then his smile dropped, the act had to continue. "Shut up, and mind your own business." he suddenly said.

You were taken aback by the bluntness of his voice. You figured it would happen, it was his character, even the citrus smell was gone. "You're still selfish. If you're not gonna stop for yourself, at least don't make Areum worry about you. She hadn't slept well since you left. You could have left a note or something."

"You're right, I am selfish." he said, staring at the pitch-black ceiling. He remembered painting clouds for you, but he couldn't find them right now. They were dulled by the rain.

You rambled on, "You are, you don't care about anyone else but yourself and it's despicable. I still don't know why you are you are in this business, but I know enough that you did it for yourself." You bit your lip, feeling that it was time to stop. Yet it would be the only time you could talk to him like this, when he's too drunk to do anything to you. "Areum said you loved me, in my heart I wanted to believe it. But seeing you now, I don't think you're capable of love. And I don't think you loved me, I think you just found a new toy to play with, just like now." You thought he didn't have the strength to do anything to you, you were wrong.

His hand moved, grabbing your wrist and yanking you towards him. Your heart stopped as his cold eyes stared deeply into yours. He pressed both your wrists into the seat of the couch as he hovered over your body. His jaws clenched, he was visibly frustrated and livid.

"Say whatever the fuck you want about me, that I'm a monster, and I'm selfish." he yelled, voice raised with every word. "But don't you dare say I didn't love you. Or that I don't love you now. Every ounce of my body was meant to love you. It's your family's fault that you don't remember me." The words got stuck in your brain, that he loves you now but it still didn't make anything right. His body moved closer to yours. It made your heart pound, it told you to accept it because you had wanted it before in the past. It can't be, you thought. You struggled to retract your wrists, you couldn't push him off. With no other options, you let the tears flow out.

Hoseok stopped in his tracks. Then his grip on your wrists loosen and he got off the couch. He cursed at himself for being too rash. When you caught a glimpse of his eyes, you saw that they were red and watery. "Hoseok, what happened?" you asked. "Tell me. Tell me everything. What did my family do? Why are you doing this and what am I to you, really?" You wanted to know more. Like something forbidden, you wanted to explore this other world that is Jung Hoseok because somewhere in that world, you were an integral piece of it.

Hoseok opened his mouth, then closed it quickly. "You're nothing to me." Then he headed for the door, leaving you with hidden gray clouds and your heart yearning for him.