queen oneshots

do you feel good? no i dont. (implied) dealor

John felt like everything was closing in on him. The walls, the dresser, the door. He could barely stand up, his hands were gripping the bed in hopes to gain some kind of stability. Tears were flowing down his face, his breaths coming out either too slowly or too quickly; he couldn't tell. Everything was overwhelming. He felt empty inside, unsure of how to feel about anything. Questioning everything. His hair, wettened by his tears, stuck to his face. He felt the tears run down his cold neck, feeling his chest and shirt get soaked with his tears. The way he felt right now was near unbearable.

His ears were blocking out any sound that wasn't his unstable breaths or intrusive thoughts, so he didn't hear the sound of the door opening. His vision was so foggy that he didn't see the figure walk across the room. He only became aware of the person when they put their hand down gently on his own. That motion alone caused him to flinch, as he looked up to whoever it was. The fogginess in his eyes made it hard to tell who it was, but since there was no cloud of curls, he rules out Brian. Freddie was ruled out too, his hair was too dark to match to the man next to him. So that left him with Roger.

He could hardly hear Roger speaking to him, and from what he heard it was just a stream of words to help calm him down. John didn't know what to do; no one had ever witnessed one of his anxiety attacks before. More tears started flowing, more intrusive thoughts knocked on his mind's imaginary door. All he could do was cry, it made him feel useless.

John was too caught up in crying to notice Roger had stood up, and barely felt when Roger lifted him off of the bed. Roger moved him to the headboard, so he could sit up properly and not feel uncomfortable. Roger slowly climbed onto the bed next to John, holding him in his arms from behind. John curled up in Roger's arms, letting his tears flow. Roger moved his hand in circles on John's back, soothing him.

"Now John, can you hear me?" Roger spoke, quietly as to not alarm John. John could hardly muster enough energy to nod, but somehow managed to do so anyway. "Good. Can you please take in a deep breath for seven seconds? I know it's hard but you can do it. I believe in you." John shakily took in a breath, a little shorter than seven seconds. "Now can you breathe out for ten?" Roger felt John's hot breath blowing on his chest, combined with tears.

"You did amazing, love. Can you repeat that a few times for me?" John shakily nodded, repeating the breathing process a few more times. "Amazing, John." Roger smiled upon hearing John's breathing patterns were back to a somewhat normal tempo. "Can you talk? Or do you need some water?" John nodded, letting out a shaky "yeah."

"Can you name five things you can see, love?" Roger spoke calmly and slowly to help the fragile John in his arms. "I c-can see.. your s-striped shirt, my hands, your h-hair, your pretty eyes, and your s-smile." John made a very weak giggling sound, making Roger's heart burst.

"Now can you name four things you can touch? Feel?" Roger asked. John nodded. "My hands. Your h-hand on my back. Your shirt. Uh..." John weakly moved his hand up to push back Roger's hair. "Y-your hair. 'S greasy." John giggled again, and Roger wondered if this was how he'd die because John is literally making his heart explode.

"You're doing amazing, love. Three things you can hear?" "My b-breathing, the ceiling fan, and best of all, y-your voice." The combination of John's weak smile and his giggles were enough to make a grown man cry, Roger thought.

"Two things you can smell?" John thought for a second on this one. "Uhh, the food F-freddie is cooking, I assume, and the air freshener from the b-bathroom." Roger nodded.

"Last one, love. One thing you can taste?"

"Salt. Some'a my tears got in my mouth. 'N it's gross" The two laughed. Roger leaned down and pressed a kiss on John's forehead, making John giggle.

John's short minute of happiness was interrupted by intrusive thoughts, once again. "I-I'm sorry you had to deal with me l-like that. I, I normally control those." John could feel tears forming in his eyes once again.

"It's okay, John. You can't help your feelings." Roger smiled, hugging the smaller closer to him. "Besides, it was worth helping you to see you smile like that." John blushed,pushing his head in closer on Roger's chest.

"Just remember, if you need to talk, I'm here for you. I love you so much, John, and if you dare think for a second that I won't care for you if you're struggling like this, you're wrong. I love you."

"I love you too, Rog. Thank you so much." John said weakly, falling asleep in Roger's arms. Roger smiled, falling asleep soon after, not even caring if he'd miss dinner.