The Cliffs of Étretat

Chapter 2

I couldn't believe my eyes, I was afraid if I'd closed them for just one second she wouldn't be there anymore.

I breathe in shakily while the last part of the song was playing. Pull yourself together for god's sake! I relaxe a little, tried to hide my nervousness. Glancing over at her  I notice that she is looking into the distance, her legs crossed, tapping her foot to the beat of the music. I couldn't believe it, I scan at her profile, no doubt. It was Sarah. In the moment i prayed the song would magically never end it stopped. She broke her thoughtful look and focuses on me. Surely she had caught me staring at her. Does she know that I know who she was? She must.

That was the last thing I wanted. I had often imagined what it was like to be famous. You reveal so much about yourself to the public. Some things voluntarily others rather involuntarily. I think of flashlights and intrusive paparazzi. Often I was frustrated because I felt I knew so much about her with the awareness that she didn't even know that I existed. But the other way around was just as unpleasant, You meet a stranger who could know your whole biography before you even know their name. It must feel like being an open book. I wanted to give her this privacy, I wanted us to meet on one level.

Now I judged myself for knowing so much about her and I cursed my nervousness and my staring. But maybe I could blame it on the situation.

She took the earbud out of her ear and gave it back to me. "I'm Y/N". I said and managed to hold myself a bit more confident. You only have that one moment I thought, don't screw it up.

"Sarah," and shook my hand, "you have great taste in music Y/N" She returned my smile.

She leaned to the left and I was afraid she would get up and walk away. But in fact, she pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and lighted one.

"It doesn't bother you, does it?" her voice muffled through the smoke. I shook my head. She offered me a cigarette I take it. 

She leans forward, cups my cigarette with one hand and lights it with her purple lighter. I inhale and pray I wont caught. Last time I smoked was at a party and tipsy, in fact all the times I smoked were at parties before and for my better judgement I always regretted the taste it left in my mouth the next day. 

I didn't caught and though of that as a little win. Though I desperately tried to find a topic of conversation. Gladly she began talking first.

„You don't usually smoke do you?" I shake my head and she chuckles. "What gave it away?" I ask. 

"The way you hold it dear" she leans forward once again, my stomach spinns. she corrects me, touching my wrist and fingers lightly. Her hands are warm. "Now you've got it" she says smiling. 

"It's a bad habit anyway, don't start." She replied after exhaling smoke. „I should quit smoking. I did, but sometimes I just can't help myself." She said more to herself than to me. I knew that she picked up the habit of smoking due to some of her roles in AHS and for the role of Marcia Clark.

"When did you start smoking?" I had to ask couldn't keep my curiosity in check and I was still in the dilemma of finding a topic so she won't leave. 

The actress furrows, exhales and then says "I guess maybe around the time when i first moved here."

"Oh well then i am definitley at risk" I joke.

"You just moved here?" 

„A couple of days ago, yes."

She nods in silence.

"It can be quite overwhelming at the beginning." 

"At least I found a spot where everything feels a little more quiet, and the sunset was gorgeous to look at from here."

"Its my favourite bench too when I need to breathe and think" Sarah said.

I couldn't help but wonder what it was that she had to think about, and the smoking? what stressed her. I wish i could just ask.

Instead I said. "You've missed it," she looked at me puzzled. "The sunset" I explained. 

Smiling she said  " Oh I've seen a few before".

I thought for a moment and then replied „I think they're all so different", she looked at me and I continued "every sunset is unique, like a feeling, a face, unique like a fingerprint, sometimes it's fiery red, a delicate rose color, sometimes pale or so intense that I wish I could put the paint on a canvas. A masterpiece in the sky, visible to everyone but most pay attention and don't see the beauty of it. They don't take a second to enjoy it.

She looked at intensely and I blush I had spoken more than the entire time we've sat next to each other.

Her gaze still rested on me. I couldn't interpret what she was thinking. 

Then she looked away and inhaled smoke "You like art?" It sounded more like a conclusion than a question.

"I do, adore it actually" I replied honestly.

"Do you make art yourself? She asked.

"Yes since I was a child I always loved being creative"

She nodds and says "I appreciate it when someone pursues their interests and talents and doesn't give up on them up as they grow older"

"Which ones are yours?" I watched her reaction.

She thought for a moment and then said, "I've always been good at putting myself in other people's shoes. In my childhood I often studied other children, their physical mannerisms, and facial expressions. I like to understand how a person thinks, why they are like they are, and what moves them. I love to be completely absorbed in someone, to understand them in a deep way and to merge with them."

She laughed brightly, "I sound like a psychopath, I'm not I promise."

We laughed. "No" I said  "I get how you mean it."

She smiles and leans forward and put out her cigarette.

I knew she was talking about acting and I wondered why she didn't address it directly or even mention it but maybe that was what it was all about for her. Not the fame nor the money. My heart starts pounding again. 

Her phone suddenly rings and we are both startled, it had been so quiet. The ringing cut through the silence like a sword.

"Shit" she says and digs it out of her pocket, accepts the call. I couldn't see who called and also didn't want to interfere with her privacy.

She told the person on the other end she was on her way home. Then she said goodbye. Her voice on the phone sounded so tired and different.

She puts the phone back, and gets up. We looked each other in the eyes a moment too long. Eventually, she smiles and says, „I've got to go."

"Au revoier Miss Monet." She said. I raised an eyebrow but then understood and grinned at her. My favorite Artist... how did she know? She couldn't have known.

„Goodbye Sarah." I simply said still smiling.

And gone she was. I sat down for a few minutes and didn't move.

All of this was Sheer madness.

I wanted to scream into the night and tell every Person who I had met. I really wanted to tell someone. But at the same time I didn't. Not now... The experience was like a treasure. Something I didn't want to share with anyone. Feeling joy in all parts of my body suddenly the realisation hit me. I would never see her again.

The end ... jk to be continued ..

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hope you enjoyed this chapter ❤️

Oh and the Monet part was obv. cringy but I couldn't resist