The Cliffs of Étretat

Chapter 3

I unlock the door of my apartment, hang up my coat, and drop onto the bed with my shoes still on. I sighed into my pillow, I was so mad at myself. The most important encounter of my life and I feel as if I had failed. My only chance wasted. But what should I have done differently?

I hadn't asked for her phone number.  Although that seems like an invasion of her privacy anyway. I didn't have the right to ask her about it. I was just a passing acquaintance on a park bench. I couldn't have asked for a signature or a photo either, or should I've done that? It was really not the vibe. Does she remember our conversation? No, of course not. She would have forgotten me a few seconds later, I tell myself. At most she would download the song we've listen to. 

Lying awake most of the night, rolling back and forth I finally drift into sleep. In the morning, the experience seemed like a beautiful dream to me. I decided to challenge fate again in the evening, driven by the hope that Sarah would come back.

Finally, I arrived and sat down. I waited for half an eternity. Normally, I was not a patient person but special circumstances require special measures. Meanwhile, it was already dark, the sunset was not as pretty as yesterday and I was cold. I gave up disappointed and went home.

But giving up was not an option. The next day I came back, and the next, and the next...

In this part of the city someone rarely came by which was relieving, because I had been sitting on this bench for days. What would other people think of me?

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday the temperatures had dropped so much that I decided on Thursday to go to a coffee shop a few streets away and not far from my subway station to get a coffee. I held the steaming cup in my hand and waited.

During my time at University I accidentally stumbled  into a lecture at university in which a weird philosophy professor with thinning hair, said "Patience is the key skill of a successful life." Did I think he was ridiculous, privileged, and ignorant to make such a statement back then? Sure. Do I tell myself that religiously since I've met Sarah Paulson, also yes. 

Friday, Saturday, Sunday with a book. On Monday, the coffee shop was closed as I noticed with regret. She'll come. My fingers were so cold.

She would come! I close my eyes for a moment, my habit of pouring caffein into my body at this time had not proved its worth yet I was tired.

Someone sits down next to me and my heart stopped. I still had my eyes closed.

I smile triumphantly, I knew it! I knew she would come back.

I open my eyes and-  an old man was sitting next to me, he didn't even look at me.

The disappointment is so intense that I could not breathe. I jump up from the bench and the man looked confused at my sudden move. Later I hoped he didn't take it personal. But in that moment disappointment became rage. She wouldn't come.. never! what was I thinking? I was completely obsessing over this! That can't be healthy. 

My phone rings. „Yes! Hello" I almost scream overwhelmed by my emotions

"Y/N?" I was greeted with my mother's concerned voice.  I say calmer now "Yes, Hi Mom." 

"Is everything okay?" she asks worried.

"Yes, I'm ... Um .. I am a bit stressed.. how are you? How is everything? I ask. We continue to talk for a few minutes and my anger wore down only disappointment remained.

The next day I automatically go back to the bank, but just before I get there I stopp abruptly and wonder what I was even doing. I have to stop this is instanity. 

To be continued.

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No Sarah in this chapter sorry. I want to take this story slowly and not rush into anything. But maybe you'll have a little more luck in the next chapter :) I won't tell you anything..