"It's A Reasonably Bearable Existence..."

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence..." Part XII...

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence..."

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon...And have decided he needs a little Xmas...

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's...But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note...To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part XII...

("Now breathe, laddie..." Penelope stopped her steady pounding on the gasping Sheldon's back... "Deep breaths, boy-o...Good..."

"My...What..."

"Master Professor Cooper..." sly grin... "Surely an educated modern man as yourself knows what can befall a maid when she lies with a man, particularly a young man with no missing...Physically...Parts?...Particularly if the poor lass is loving and eager..."

"Amy is what...?" gasp...

"With child we called it in my day...When polite...Though those men of the lower sort might call it..."

"Pregnant...But..."

"What?...First time out, a home run?..." grin... "I've become rather partial to baseball watching with Claire and the boys over the years...When we finally have our first daughter, during our reincarnation in the next...Hmmn...I think we're due in twenty years...I intend to teach her the love of the game, though nothing will ever equal the love of a Red Sox fan before we finally retook the Series...What?...I'm New England born and bred, laddie...The family didn't move to the great plains till the mid 1860s..."

Sheldon staring blankly...

"What...Wait...You're saying that's what Amy wanted to tell me Christmas Eve?..."

"Why no, she thought she'd just had a tummy rumble...Of course that's what she wanted to tell you, arsehole!..."

"A daughter..."

"Whom she's naming for your Meemaw...And her grandmother...Nice, eh?..."

"I didn't..."

"Bullcrap..." a stern-eyed Penelope waved a hand...

Hmmn...

"Thanks, Joseph...My superior just wanted to let you know the management upstairs totally approves my use of strong language..." Leaning forward to him... "Though I would appreciate your not mentioning it to Claire or my boys...He's heard the occasional rough word fall from me but I try to be ladylike in their presence..."

"But..."

"You knew, lad...Why else were you so desperate to avoid her...You guessed, at least...With your usual mathematical precision...And I believe if I looked I'd find you'd had your sperm count checked in past few days after your little encounter...No, Master Dr. Cooper, you'd guessed almost to certainty and were sure when you saw Amy so eager to sing you her happiness...Bastard..."

Sorry, sir...That was a bit much...But I've not belted him...Yet...

"Forgive me...Coward would be the better word..."

"I never meant..."

"Call this a modern era..." she rolled her eyes... "You know, I actually believe you there, you manchild...Most of your era actually do believe it will never happen to them till it does...Good Lord, boy...In my day we thought things through...We knew what could happen and a good man was expected to do his duty and did...Or a lass was expected to have the sense to know the consequences of being with a bad one...Oh, Lord...But Dr. Fowler loved you and preferred to take the chance..."

"I was upset over Meemaw..."

"Ok, we're done..." Penelope frowned...

"What?..."

"Sheldon...When you resort to makin' excuses for your behavior...When your first thought here after hearing this isn't...Poor Amy, what can I do?...But oh, it's not my fault, I was weepin' over my grandmother and the lass made me do it..." glare... "Then I wash me hands of you...I'll do what I can for Amy..."

"What...Wait...!"

"You wanted to be out of the world, you're out...You can stay here, outside the world in your own little haven and doing your arithmetic..."

"Physics..."

"Whatever...I really like that word, you know my descendant uses it quite a bit...Very elegantly expressively, Claire says..."

"You can't just leave me here?!..."

"The way you left Amy?..." thin smile... "Oh, laddie...I told you...I'm not here to help you...You're not my client...Just the biggest obstacle in her life...But you'll find a place to do your doodling and things to write with..."

"Please..." Sheldon grabbed at her arm...She eyeing him coolly...

"I think I made it clear earlier how I dislike a man handling me without my leave?..."

He released... "Please...I want to help Amy...Please...You didn't waste all this time on me just to end it here...Oh, she's leaving...")

Amy in seat, eyeing departure board...Rising with bag...

("I dunno...Makin' you suffer a little seems fair sport to me..." Penelope beamed...

"But my daughter...You have to stop her!..."

"Abandoned by her father...An icy worthless fellow who vanished before her birth...Her mother trying to shelter her from an aunt who seems the most loving in the world but is Miss Havisham to her Estella in truth...Determined to poison her soul as hers was poisoned, for jealousy of Amy and bitter love for you...See, lad...You can't be out of the picture without harming others...And the lass will grow up that way, her mother shunted off and eventually proving to her daughter that love is helpless and powerless in her suicide..."

"No...Amy won't...She wouldn't..."

"She assumed you departed this world when no one heard of you...Blamed herself for making you do so, out of fear of having...What?...To care for another human being as so many have cared for Sheldon Lee Cooper?...After all, Shelly...What's your excuse?...Didn't your parents have you tested...?"

"Meemaw...?" he stared at the figure now before him...)