in the crowd • luke hemmings

7. x-men first class

it had been a whole twenty four hours, and luke still hadn't stopped feeling just as shitty as he did the moment the door slammed behind her.

the magnet dragging him down was as strong as ever, and he knew how much he deserved it.

he also knew how much she deserved an apology, but he tried to reason that what he'd done couldn't be reconciled. really, he was just scared she wouldn't accept it.

luke couldn't face rejection like that. he couldn't face losing, boxing matches or people.

he felt stupid - he'd known her for just over two weeks, and despite his best efforts to stay an arms length, something about her was so enticing he just couldn't. and yeah, without her, life would go on, but luke couldn't help but feel like without her he might be missing out on something.

but he was letting himself drown in thought again, and he slowed his pace down to a jog; contemplating how to apologise for yet another wrongdoing - and a much worse one at that.

he had no way of contacting the girl, other than going to her apartment. he remembered the route they drove, and he wasn't sure if that made him romantic or just really weird.

he could always go to the gym and see if she turned up, but making a genuine apology surrounded by sweating, middle aged office workers trying to get back into shape sounded slightly agonizing.

and she could breeze right past him.

she could decide she didn't want the apology, and humiliate him in front of anyone at the gym, simply by ignoring him. of course, that was what he deserved, but by no means was he going to put himself in the position where it could actually happen.

at least if he was at her house, it would be just the two of them.

unless she slammed the door so loudly in his face that all her neighbours poked their heads out the window and watched him in his hour of shame.

and god if luke didn't know how much he was over-analysing this, but he truly couldn't help it.

he always needed to be in control, and however he made this apology, he knew she'd be the one with the power to tell him to fuck off.

but, control or no control, luke knew he had to say sorry. he didn't want to, and he hated the thought of it, but nowhere near as much as he hated the extremity of the guilt he always seemed to feel after making lola cry.

and in two weeks, he'd managed to do it twice, which was not the best first impression to make to the girl who'd been sweet enough to clean up his bruised hands.

calling her seemed the most painless way to say he was sorry. the only problem being, he didn't know her number.

out of all three boys, luke decided calum would probably be the one most unlikely to ask questions. ashton has the mindset of a teenage girl when it came to knowing any 'gossip', and michael just liked to know everything that was going on all the time. calum was too busy perfecting his xbox skills to bother asking anything.

luke turned into the park, sitting on the first bench he could find and pulling his phone out to call calum - or cal pal as he'd instituted to be titled on luke's phone.

"hey man! what's up?"

"hi cal. i was just going to ask if you have lola's number?" he stared down at the concrete as he spoke, his voice a low mumble in comparison to how upbeat calum always sounded.

"yeah, sure man, i'll text it to you. hey, do you want to come over this weekend, for a guys night? ash and mike have off work, and we could drink and jam, it'll be great!"