Feelings

Chapter 6

Dr. Lim's test came back negative much to everyone's relief, so she was moved out of isolation and into a private room in the Intensive Care Unit. Christmas Eve arrived and Melendez had cleared it with Andrews to allow the other residents into Lim's hospital room for the holiday. Melendez would be visiting Gabi on Christmas Day, Shaun would be spending Christmas with Lea, Park would be celebrating with Kellan, and Claire and Morgan had to work on Christmas, so they decided to have the surprise celebration on December 24th. Around noon, after most of her early morning tests had been done, Melendez dressed in his gown, gloves, and mask (which thankfully was a standard surgical mask more for Lim's protection due to a weakened immune system than for anyone else's safety at this point). He knocked on the door and Lim rolled over to face him, "Right on time. For once," she chuckled.

"Hey, you know the life of a surgeon," he joked. He handed her the bag in his hand, "I bought you a little something. I saw it when I was buying Gabi's presents and I just couldn't resist."

Lim peeked into the bag, chuckled, and coughed a little as she pulled out the motorcycle bear, "Oh it's adorable. Very thoughtful," she smiled, "But just to be clear, I don't have to think of you every time I look at it right?"

"No, but it might be hard not to," he smirked under the mask. Lim scowled and smacked his chest playfully, but she went into a coughing spell, so Melendez said, "Easy, Audrey. You have to build your strength back up before we're on an even playing field of playful fighting."

"Well, I can't wait for the day when I feel like myself again," she admitted honestly.

"You will, Audrey, you will," Melendez smiled, "Are you feeling up for more visitors?"

"Depends on the visitors," she said.

Melendez stood and walked towards the door, "Don't worry, I think you'll like these ones."

Park, Shaun, Claire, and Morgan all came into the room, beaming under their masks, handfuls of fake flower bouquets, balloons, and a few standard get well bears in hand, "Melendez, what is this?" asked Lim in surprise, returning her voice to her usual sarcastic tone.

"Don't worry, I cleared it with Andrews. Just thought that since you couldn't do your normal 'work the ER on Christmas', you might have wanted an alternative," he explained.

"How are you feeling, Dr. Lim?" asked Claire.

"Pretty crappy," she admitted, "But don't think you all can slack off just because I'll be out of commission for a while. I expect the same level of excellence that I know each and every one of you are capable."

"We won't let you down, Dr. Lim," assured Park.

"We brought you flowers and balloons," Shaun motioned over to the gifts, "But we brought fake flowers because your lungs might be permanently damaged from the SARS mutation."

"Shaun," warned Claire.

"It's the truth," he said, "But she can recover most of her lung function..."

"Shaun, it's Christmas," said Park.

"No, it's Christmas Eve, Christmas is tomorrow. I'm spending it with Lea," stated Shaun.

"That's okay, Dr. Murphy. I'm aware I have an extensive recovery ahead of me," she comforted him, "But I have to give a special congratulations to both you and Dr. Reznick."

Morgan's eyes widened, "Why?" she asked.

"Because you both remained calm under pressure, you showed your abilities as second-year residents, and you both worked together to save a life, my life. I couldn't be more proud of you both and your growth as surgeons," commended Lim.

Morgan held back a few tears, thinking about how she lost Tyler. She couldn't lose someone who had become a mother figure to her, "Thank you, Dr. Lim."

"Yes, thank you, Dr. Lim," said Shaun as well since it seemed to be the correct social convention.

"Well, I'm sure you're still feeling run down and we all have work to do," said Claire, "We just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Don't worry about me. You all have lives to save," said Lim, "Now go get started and have a Merry Christmas," the four residents nodded and left the room. Lim turned to Melendez and her cheerful demeanor suddenly became more somber now that it was just her and her dear friend, "They ran many tests over the weekend, Neil," she whispered softly.

"I know," he nodded. Lim held back a few tears, but some still fell down her cheeks, "Hey, it's okay," Melendez wiped them away as they fell.

"I don't know why I'm crying because I don't cry," she chuckled to herself.

"What happened, Audrey?" asked Melendez.

"First, they ran the test to make sure I was no longer contagious and I'm not, thank God," she admitted, "But they performed a lot of tests to determine what percentage of my lung function I lost and I lost a lot of it because of the virus. My numbers were just barely above the criteria for full respiratory failure."

"Audrey, there are so many treatments for respiratory failure. There's medication, there's pulmonary rehab...you can live a full life with the proper education," Melendez said.

"But they said I might never get to 100% function again," Lim admitted softly as she let more tears fall, "I'm scared, Neil," she admitted, not quite believing she was saying that to anyone, especially him.

"I know you are," Melendez said, "But I know you, Audrey; you will be just fine," Melendez grabbed her hand and then mentally chastised himself for doing so. But he also noticed Lim didn't pull her hand away, but maybe it was because she was too frail to react quickly.

Shaun waltzed into the room and said, "I left my scalpel in here," he went to grab it and noticed his two superiors holding hands. He didn't say anything though, he just stated, "I found my scalpel."

He quickly left the room and the two friends chuckled nervously. Melendez pulled his hand away and said, "Well, I have some last minute things to do before I go see Gabi tomorrow. I know it probably won't be, but have a good Christmas, Lim."

"You too," she smiled, "Tell Gabi I said 'hi'."

"Will do," Melendez answered. He went outside and noticed Shaun was sitting on the bench, "Dr. Murphy, what are you doing out here?"

"I'm waiting for Lea to pick me up. She's giving me another driving lesson because I have no surgeries today," said Shaun, barely looking Melendez in the eye. Melendez just nodded and went to go to his car when Shaun asked, "Dr. Melendez?"

"Yes, Dr. Murphy?" said Melendez.

"Do you care about Dr. Lim?" he asked.

Melendez sighed, pondering on how to tell the young resident that they were just friends, ""Well, I've known her for a long time and we're close friends, so yeah I care about her."

"You were holding her hand," Shaun stated.

"I know. But that was a one-time thing," said Melendez, though he didn't know if he was trying to convince Shaun or himself.

"You didn't get her flowers or balloons," stated Shaun again.

"Um, no. I got her the little bear dressed in a motorcycle outfit," he said.

Shaun absorbed the information, "She's rides a motorcycle. That was an appropriate gift."

"Have a good driving lesson, Dr. Murphy. And Merry Christmas," said Melendez.

Shaun stayed silent for a few moments before he said, "I will have a good driving lesson and I will have a good Christmas."

Melendez knew that was Shaun's way of wishing him a Merry Christmas, so he headed for home to wrap Gabi's gifts. Tomorrow would be a wonderful day spent with his sister, and quite frankly, he wanted to have something to take his mind off of his ambiguous feelings.