Art of Manipulation |One Punch Man| |Reader Insert|

|WŪ|

A loud boom came from behind you and his presence moved.

'He broke the sound barrier?' You thought, keeping tabs on him. You felt him zoom all around you like a mosquito on steroids.

'Is he buttering us up, or some shit?' You thought, letting out a yawn. When Sonic landed on a tree and rushed towards you, you and Saitama both turned your heads to him.

"Can we go home?" He asked. With a stuttering gasp, Sonic spun forward, kicking out his leg. You raised your hand and guided it away from you two. At this, Sonic let out another gasp. Saitama raised his fist and let Sonic fall onto it, balls first.

"Checkmate," he said. His fist and his balls connected. Your brows shot up.

"Sorry! That wasn't on purpose. I meant to stop before hitting you... but your momentum carried my fist into your..."
Sonic jumped away from you. You had to cover your mouth and turn away to hide yourself. You were laughing just a little too hard.

"I've worked every job from assassin to bodyguard," Sonic spoke, "No ninja is more deadly. I am Speed-O-Sound Sonic! But I'm putting my work on hold. Now that I've found such formidable opponents... I'm dedicating myself to training until we settle this. Let me know your names!"

"... it's Saitama..."

"Y-Y/n..." You said through your quiet fits of giggles.

"Saitama! Y/n! Next time we meet, it'll be your demise!" He pointed a finger at you, but his tone had gone unsteady.

"Du-dude... you're shaking..." You said, letting out a rather loud and obvious snort.

"... okay..." Saitama said awkwardly.

"I, Speed-O-Sound Sonic, the ultimate ninja... will bring you down without fail!"

"Train hard!" Saitama said, clenching his fist.

"Pfftttt--HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! BITCH ASS LOSER!!" You broke down, falling to the ground and clutching your stomach.

~
"Speed-O-Sound Sonic? Who is that? And who would possess such a redundant name?" Genos asked. When you returned to your apartment, your loyal disciple popped over for a visit.

"Some self-proclaimed ninja," you replied, taking a bite out of an apple. You were leaning against the chabudai. (A short-legged Japanese table)

"He suddenly appeared, declared we were rivals, and took off," Saitama said.

"You forgot the part where you punched him in the balls."

"That wasn't my fault!"

"If he is a nuisance, I will get rid of him," Genos said.

"Well, you're hardly different," Saitama commented. You nudged him slightly.

"Don't be rude."

"Actually, why are you here again? Go home. It's not like we're related."

"Sensei, I must become stronger--"

"Shut up!" Saitama leaned forward on the table. "I am now aware of a serious problem and am reeling from shock. So I beg you, go home for today."

"A serious problem?" Genos repeated. "What could cause a problem for someone as great as you? Please share with me."

"He probably missed a sale," you replied blandly. A few seconds of tense silence passed.

"... no one knows who I am."
Genos gasped from next to you, and you sighed.

"That's my cue to sleep before he goes on a ramble. Night you two."