The Thousand Words We Spoke (A Novella)

Chapter Six

The sun was beating through the shades when Mia's eyes opened, a slight hangover pulsating against her temple. While she didn't drink much last night, she normally stuck to a single drink, and anything greater left her feeling sluggish the next day.

Although Adam would stay for the week, this was her only day off from work to show him the city, so he could act like he'd hadn't been there a dozen times before. Still, it was part of the job of having company to show them around the city she had no desire to live in. The city where twenty murders over the weekend was a low number.

When Mia turned around, she found the other side of her bed empty and frowned at his absence. She climbed out of bed slowly so as not to stir the sleeping beast of a hangover within her and grabbed her robe from a hook near the door. Once the robe was tied, Mia walked into the living room and noticed he was still nowhere to be found. But as she turned, there he was, standing outside on her tiny balcony, staring off into the city as a cloud of smoke lingered above him.

Adam smoked so rarely that no one in his family had ever caught on, and it was only by chance that she knew. Mia had discovered his secret during one of the family's Sunday brunches, a tradition between the group that had gone on since before she was born. She was twelve, and it was at that brunch where he'd announced his engagement to his fiancé was called off after she'd accepted a job offer in Seattle without talking to him about it. Then he stood up, walked outside, and disappeared into their vast backyard.

She'd went looking for him after some time had passed and against the wishes of the rest of them. They'd told her he needed space, but Mia knew as well as they did there was no space between the two of them. Since she'd learned how to walk, it had connected them at the hip.

And that's when she discovered his secret, one she kept to this very day.

Adam flinched at the sound of the balcony door opening, but didn't turn. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," Mia replied as she leaned against the railing to face him. "So, what'd you want to do today? We could go get some breakfast, then go to the museum, show you where I work."

Adam let out a heavy breath, a cloud of smoke escaping through his nostrils. "I'm going to rent a car and head to Madison."

Nausea swirled around in her empty stomach, but not from the hangover.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. They were supposed to brush everything off and go about their lives the way they always had; joined at the hip despite her heart yearning for his. The only reason she'd suggested kissing him last night was because it was the only way from them to remain them.

"What happened last night-"

"Is going to happen again if I stay here," Adam finished, cutting her off. He crushed the cherry of his cigarette on the metal of her balcony railing, emptied the remaining tobacco, then shoved it into his pocket. "That was an actual kiss, Mia. You can deny it all you want, but we both felt it. Pretending it didn't happen isn't an option, and neither is acting on it."

It was something she'd told herself as well, but it felt different coming from his mouth. It felt... final.

"So, you're just going to break up with me?"

His eyes fell on hers, looking tired and so lost. "We were never together, Mia."

"We've always been together, Adam," Mia argued. "Even when you were away, it's always been you and me. Your mini Mia munchkin head and my knight in shining Adam. You just leaving like this, we'll never be able to go back. And you don't want to take a chance on this, so we can't go forward. You want to hide from me so you can keep pretending I'm a child, pretending that nothing has changed while I rot away in limbo. Then you'll go on with your life avoiding me so you can keep your fantasy intact. Call it whatever the hell you want, Adam, but you're not just breaking up with me, you seem fine with breaking me."

Adam looked away from her, unwilling to look her in the eyes and see the truth behind them. "I just need some distance, Mia. It won't be for forever. Someday we'll get back to how things were, but that will take some time."

She didn't know if he believed that or if that was something he was telling himself to make it through this.

Mia licked her lips and turned to grasp the railing as if she was holding on for dear life. This moment had officially taken first place as the hardest in her life. When he left before, he was leaving because he needed to do something for himself. This time he was leaving to get away from her, and it was so much worse.

What was worse is he didn't just want physical distance.

"Fine. Go." Those two words cut through her like a freshly sharpened blade, stripping away every piece of her like it was nothing. She crossed her arms in front of her as if that would protect her from the fallout.

"Mia."

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. My knight in shining Adam would have at least looked at me." Mia looked at him then, noticing his head had turned ever so slightly toward her, but still couldn't look at her. "I don't know who the hell you are anymore."

He would have stripped away that poker face of his and given her something. He would have made her feel as if she were still his Mia.

"You can let yourself out. I'm going back to bed."

This time, Mia was the one to walk away from him.