The Thousand Words We Spoke (A Novella)

Chapter Eleven

"Are you certain this is the right choice for you?" Her mother asked as she taped a box shut. "I don't want you to do this because you're running away from something."

Mia's decision wasn't only because of Adam, though she guessed that's how it looked to anyone who knew given the timing of her decision. She wasn't lying to Adam's dad when she gave her reason for all of this. Mia wanted an adventure of her own.

Everything about her life had always been so planned out. She was ready for some surprise and intrigue. If it all blew up in her face, at least she could say she tried and did something spontaneous. That's what her kiss with Adam showed her beyond just her own feelings. It showed her she was ready to take leaps of faith and see where she landed.

"I'm not running away from Adam," she reassured her mother. "I'm letting him go and running toward something new."

"That's all I need to know. Have you found a place to live yet?"

"I did yesterday. It's a house in a gated community for about six hundred less a month than I'm paying here and an extra five hundred square feet. Three bedrooms and two-and-a-half bath. I already put down the deposit. It looks like a great place. Had my new boss look at it this morning and she told me I'd be crazy not to take it."

"So, enough room for your old mamma?" Her mother said, her voice straining as she tried lifting a box of books.

"Leave it, mom. I'm just going to hire some guys to fill the truck. And yes. You guys can come visit me in March. That'll give me enough time to unpack and you guys can escape the end of winter for a week."

"I like the sound of that. Your dad never makes time for vacations, but something tells me he'll make time for this."

They continued chatting and boxing up her things for a while before Mia found the nerve to bring up the elephant in the room. "How's Adam?"

Her mother glanced up only for a moment before going back to packing. "Adam's... he's Adam. You know he doesn't show much. Doesn't mean he isn't hurting, just doesn't show it. The only person he ever opened up to was you."

"He does when he wants to, but sometimes he shuts me out just like he does everyone else." Mia sat up, grabbed the hair tie from her wrist and collected her hair before tying it up in a half-assed bun. "He's the only person I've ever met who's made me feel like the most important person in the world one minute, then less than nothing the next. It's probably for the best that we didn't try to see where this thing took us. I don't enjoy having to push a guy into showing me how he feels and I don't think Adam knows how to let someone in like that."

Her mom wiped her hand covered in imaginary dust onto her jeans and grabbed her wine glass from an end table. "Whatever he said or did after you two kissed, something tells me he was just scared. I don't think Adam would ever hurt you on purpose. I just don't think he knew what to do in that situation. Understand, honey, that he took your very first photograph. Adam held you when you were three hours old. He's watched you grow up into a beautiful young woman. He had feelings that he didn't think he was supposed to have and didn't know what to do with.

"I know you're upset because of how Adam handled things, but there was no good way to handle it. But make no mistake, that man loves you with every ounce of love he has. And when he's in a relationship, he's all in. He's just always chosen the wrong women to give his heart to, and I think that's one of the reasons he was so scared with you. Every one of his relationships has crashed and burned, so from experience, he thinks love will always end in pain. He didn't want to feel that way with you.

"But if he were ten years younger, I don't think anyone in the family would mind you two going for it. They'd probably be ecstatic about it. But he isn't ten years younger, Mia, and he knows there's no chance of the families ever accepting you two together. He had to make a tough decision, and it was the right one."

Maybe it was the right choice for everyone else involved, but despite what she'd said to her mother about it all been for the best, she didn't believe those words. Until recently, Adam had always made her happy, always helped her to see her worth, and always loved her. And she'd always done the same for him.

Yes, there was an astronomical age difference; one that would come with many challenges. And yes, there was an undeniable deep history there. There would also be complications within the family, ones that may never have mended if he'd chosen her. But even with all of that, she didn't doubt that they could have been incredible together, because no one would ever love Adam like her and no one could ever give her the love she felt from him.

"It doesn't matter," Mia finally spoke.

"It does if your hearts broken."

"Hearts mend. Eventually." Hopefully. Someday.

Mia couldn't even imagine a life without loving Adam anymore. It probably wasn't possible to stop loving him. But if she could somehow love him a little less, maybe she'd be able to move on with her life.

The worst part was that even if she found love with another, he'd always be second choice and she didn't want that for anyone.

"Want to call it quits for now? Maybe get something to eat?" Mia suggested, ready for this conversation to end.

Her mom held up her pointer finger and took large sips of her wine until every ounce disappeared. "Absolutely. I forgot how much packing sucks. Though if you get to Arizona and decide you hate it, I'm more than willing to go through this whole ordeal again."

That was the crappy part about being spontaneous. Like it had with Adam, all of this could blow up in her face. At least in this case, it would just be her tail between her legs rather than her heart dragging against jagged pavement.