The Thousand Words We Spoke (A Novella)

Chapter Fourteen

Because it was an eleven hour drive From Mesa to Bridgeport, California, they both took Monday off and made a long weekend of it. It was easy to pull since Mia had only taken off a few days over the last five years, only going home to see her parents twice during that time, and Holden was his own boss.

Holden drove the entire way, sharing stories of his family and singing to the radio off-tune, but with a tenacity that left Mia impressed. She remained comparatively quiet, reluctant to talk much about her own family, since most stories contained the man she was still getting over. She was sure if she revealed who she was getting over, Holden would be accepting. Theirs hadn't been a magnificent love affair, only one that took place in her imagination with a moment of real physical weakness.

Strange how five years later, she still didn't look at the kiss with much regret. It had shattered the most precious friendship she'd ever had, but if they could ruin it with one action, Mia had come to terms, it wasn't worth saving. Now that she was approaching thirty, it was time to leave childhood things and fantasies in the past and live the life in front of her.

Adam was, with no uncertainty, the most difficult and precious of her childhood things to leave behind, but he'd let go, gotten on with his career and lived his life and this trip was the next step in her living hers and her chance at contentment.

She'd give this her all, Mia decided. No more waiting until midnight to see if he'd message her on holidays. No more asking her parents how he was doing. No more wondering if he'd ever show up on her doorstep to tell her he'd chosen her. No more hesitating to go visit her parents or telling her mother to tell him she would visit so he could make up some reason to not be in town.

Mia was done making any resolutions after this one, with Adam in mind.

"You okay over there?" Holden asked from behind the wheel.

Mia jolted to attention and swung to look at him. "What?"

"I asked you twice if you wanted to stop and get something to eat."

Mia looked at the clock on the radio. "Aren't we almost there?"

Holden tilted his head back and forth, then flashed her that panty dropping smile. "Yeah, but my sister is a terrible cook, so I told her we'd grab something on the road."

They'd stopped a few times along the way, but Mia was fine with taking one last break before getting to his sister's. She'd been in the car since eight that morning and now it was nearing six at night. "Sure. I need to stretch before my legs fall asleep anyhow."

"What are you in the mood for? Chinese, maybe?"

Mia's mind went back to the night that Adam showed up at her door and realized determination and action were two very different things. Yes, she was determined to move on from all things Adam, but now she'd have to direct herself to execute that.

No more thinking about Adam.

Mia's phone rang from inside her purse and she shuffled through the giant bag to grab it. "Not Chinese," she told him before finding the phone and seeing her mother's name on the front. She accepted the call. "Hey, mom. I just hit California."

She'd told her mom about the trip the other night and her mother praised her for putting some effort into her love life. "Is there any way you can come home, kiddo?"

Any happiness on her face or in her voice evaporated. "Why? What happened?"

"Richard just passed away," her mother said so slowly it sounded as if each word caused her physical pain to say. "He had a severe stroke this morning. They tried to save him... Adam needs you, honey. We all do."

Richard was Adam's father and a man who'd been there for her her entire life. He'd loved her like a granddaughter, which wasn't surprising since he and her grandfather had been best friends since kindergarten.

"I'll figure it out, mom. I don't know how, but I will. How is Adam?"

"He hasn't said a word since this morning. I'm worried about him. Helen and William have at least cried, but Adam just kept sitting there. None of us know what to do or say to him, kiddo."

It wasn't Adam's first time shutting down and shutting everyone else out, but she'd brought him back more than once before and she understood what her mom was trying to say in between the lines. It was Mia's job to bring Adam back once again, even if was only to break down. "I'll call you once I find a flight. Love you, mom."

"Love you too, kiddo."

Mia ended the call and looked over at Holden, who was already glancing in her direction.

"What happened?"

Mia could still barely believe it and, like it sounded in her mother's voice, she felt in her own, having to choke the words out like bile in her throat. "A good family friend just died. I have to go home."

"We," Holden corrected. "We'll stop by my sister's to drop off the car and she'll drive us to the airport."

"I can't ask you to do that." More than that, as much as she'd grown to care about Holden over the last two months, this wasn't the time for him to meet her family. Weddings were a difficult enough initiation.

"You didn't ask. I offered. How good of a family friend were they?"

"He was like a second grandfather to me," Mia told him, unsure of how to steer the direction back to her going alone. "Him and my grandfather have known each other since they were kids and have a business together. Everyone gets together every Saturday for dinner, then stay up 'til all hours playing cards."

"And who's Adam?"

It was strange hearing his name come out of Holden's mouth. Almost like her best kept secret was taunting her to come out. "His youngest son. His brother is my godfather, but I was always closer to Adam. He has a habit of shutting himself off when things get tough and everyone counts on me to find my way in and bring him back."

Mia hadn't meant to say all of that, but it was too easy to lose herself talking about Adam. It was a habit she couldn't kick, just as the man himself had been her addiction.

"You care for him," Holden said, before glancing over at her once again. "Just the way you sound when you talked about him, I can tell."

Plus, she'd more or less said as much. But she couldn't get sucked in again. She'd be there for him, console him, stand by his side when he buried his father, then go home. This weekend was about leaving Adam in her past and trying to start a future with the man by her side.

As difficult as it would be for Adam to see her with another man and as crass as the timing of it was, maybe Holden coming with her would help stop her from falling in the all too familiar trap and taking two steps backward.

"He's been there my entire life. Until I was eighteen, anyhow. Then he took a job and left for five years. Not long after he got back, I moved away. I'll always care for him, but we aren't as close as we used to be. Too much distance and too much time, I guess."

For the sake of her sanity, Mia changed the subject. "I should call my boss and tell her what's going on. I'll need more time than I thought."

Mia called her boss while Holden called his sister, then she went online and looked for the nearest airport with the soonest flight. This wasn't the weekend she had planned, but would somehow make it through it.