Daydream🌫//B.E

8͓̽

*Alexa play 'Starboy' by The Weeknd*

"I- I- I just can't! I fucking can't anymore!"

I argue at my dance partner, Jordan. More of a friends with benefits deal.

My sister, no, more like everyone on tour with us, is consistently ridiculing me for trying to be happy. Every time they see me happy that bring me down by making up a flaw and pointing it out to me.

But that's not even the problem. The problem is, is that I can't even enjoy a fucking SNACK without Billie coming up to me and bringing me down in the worst ways possible. She's also been touching me and making me feel uncomfortable in my own body. This wouldn't bother me if I had Colby to tell me otherwise. Of Course I have Jordan. But that relationship is more of a lustful one. We really only talk if we're horny or bored.

"Why though." Jordan says trying to understand.

"I-! I can't do anything without being ridiculed and put down. I try to ignore it but you know how much it fucking hurts to see that your own parents won't back you up." I say trying to calm down. "What's worse is that I don't even have my real parents. If I did they wouldn't let anyone treat me like this. No matter what I did. As my mama used to say  'La familia es primero. Nunca dejes uno de los tuyos, levántalos en alto y quédate juntos. Santós se mantienen unidos, y usted, mi hija, es una Santó, proteja la colmena donde la colmena necesita protección.' ('Family comes first. Never put down one of your own, raise them up high and stick together. Santós stick together, and you my daughter are a Santó. Protect the hive we're the hive need protecting.') sorry if the Spanish is bad, I used google translate.

"Ok.." Jordan says confusingly.
"Protect the hive..?" He asked.

"Protect family when they need to be protected. No matter what circumstance. If they need you, emotionally, or physically, be there for them." I explain to him.

"I just wish everyone would be more considerate. Understand that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, did, or going to do." I say starting to cry. "Either way I'm still 17. I have no idea how to handle myself and make the right decisions." I say brushing my hand through my hair. He comes up to me and hugs me and holds me on the bed in my hotel room.

"Sh sh sh it's ok, it's ok. You've got me. I'll be here for you." He assures me.

I pull away quickly.
"I- I need to see Justin.. and Zariah, and Kara, and Chloe, and Damon, and Elias, and-"

"Who?" He asks.

"My other brother Justin, and my best friends, Zariah, Kara, Chloe, Damon, and Elias." I say wiping away my tears. My best friends have been with me forever. I remember the first day of kindergarten I met Zariah,Chloe and Elias. Around 2nd grade was when we met Kara and Damon. We all do everything together. We all live on the same street,except for Elias. He lives on the next street.

Kara is more of the mom friend. She has a very vintage style. Yes she's sweet but she's also super uptight and annoying, yet we love her to death.

Zariah is the complete opposite of Kara. She's a very open and crazy friend. More of like the crackhead of the friend group. She could be misinterpreted for a thug, but she's cool.

Elias is.. just simply.. the gay one. And no offense to any gays, it's just a known fact. His personality is unreadable and he is just.. idek. He's definitely a really good person. He looks out for people and he could brighten anyone's day.