Broken [Book 1 of 2]

Chapter One-

        I looked at my razor. I want to... I thought to myself. It was calling my name. "Jayde, Jayde, Jayde," I heard the razor screech into my ears. Clean, silver, sharp...

        *BUZZ*

        That was the call that saved me from ruining my streak of 138 days clean. I turned, looking over at my phone. The caller ID said, "Cammy-Poo ♥" I answered it with a shaky hello.

        "Babe!" The person on the other line yelled. I jumped, pulling the phone away from my ear for a couple seconds. When I put it back, I said, "Yes?"

        "I saw your tweet! Don't think I can't read them! I swear to god if you fucking hurt yourself again I will murder you!" He said. I smiled, but it wasn't big. 

        "Isn't that the point? To die?" I whispered into the phone so my dad wouldn't hear me. 

        "No, that's not the point...the point doesn't matter," he sighed, "Just don't cut. Please."

        "Ugh, fine. Whatever you want, Cam." I said to my best internet friend, Cameron Alexander Dallas. He's been one of my only friends for three years now and I've never met him in real life. I've known him before he got famous, and I've always been here for him. It's his turn now.

        "Thank you, Jaydey-Poo!" Cam said with a little too much excitement. We have these nicknames for each other. I call him Cammy-Poo and he calls me Jaydey-Poo. "Now, it's one in the morning. I want my sleep. Promise you won't harm yourself!"

        "I promise," I said. We then hung up. I thought I had lied to both him and me, but when I picked up my razor, I took one large breath and set it down again. He put motivation into my smile. After walking back to my bed, I slowly fell asleep with just a little bit of comfort.

         •••

        There were a million texts on my phone when I woke up. They were all from Cam and they all said, "Did you keep your promise?" I smiled and replied with a truthful, "Yes."

        For awhile we went back and forth texting, when he surprised me.

        Cam: Dude guess what?!

        Me: What?

        Cam:I'm taking a road trip to San Diego with the boys! I'll get to see you!

        That's when my heart stopped. I couldn't breath. I've waited three years for Cam to come over to San Diego to meet me in real life. Goosebumps showed up everywhere. He's finally driving from Anaheim, just for me.

        Almost forgetting to reply, I texted back.

        Me: OMG I CAN'T EVEN RIGHT NOW!!

        Cam: I knew you'd like my little surprise!

        Me: Are all of the boys coming?

        Cam: Yep, all 9/9.

        Me: I can't wait!

        After we said goodbye, I put down my phone and smiled. It was the first real smile I've had in years. Finally I have a chance at happiness, as cliche as that sounds.