Can You Not?

Chapter 21

There were so many people, so much more than she expected. A lot of people were there for traditional art, like painting and sculpting, but the amount of people who came specifically for comics and illustration was mind-boggling. Norah knew that it was a big industry, but she didn't realize that the community was that big. There were large arrangements of books to buy and stalls set up everywhere. There was enough time to go through the  venue twice before her panel, so Norah didn't feel guilty about lingering at the booths of her favorite creators.

Both her parents were there with her. None of her friends could get permission to come and most of them couldn't afford the trips anyway. Ellis had made a big show of pretending to cry and telling her he'd for her forever when he said goodbye the day they left. He stopped by her house before school that day to do it. When he gave her a long dramatic kiss at her front door, she had to push him away and tell him to stop being so embarrassing. He complied but only if he could give her one last kiss before he left for school, to which Norah agreed. After one last tender peck on the head, she watched him drive away and went back to packing.

He was hopelessly sweet recently. Everything he did was either tender or sweet. Norah felt like their date that ended up in the back of his Jeep had a lot to do with it. She was worried that he felt responsible for her always pulling away or that happened in the Jeep changed things somehow. She didn't want anything to change. Things were too perfect. Everything except the fact that she was petrified of intimacy of that calibre was perfect. They needed to talk about it. His increased sweetness might get on her nerves. The times he was funny didn't go unnoticed either. But Norah still felt guilty about chickening out every time things got steamy. She promised herself that she would make the first move when she got back from the expo.

She could feel her heartbeat get faster just thinking about going up on the stage. It wasn't even that big of a deal. She was just going to talk about what it was like making a comic, something she obviously had a decent amount of experience with. But her body didn't like the idea. Her mind just couldn't stop calculating the possibility of something going wrong. Vivid images of embarrassing things like falling on her way to her seat or not speaking clearly enough and slurring something offensive flashed across her mind. She had a quick look at where the panel would be before she joined her parents back on the exhibition floor.

They walked from booth to booth, stopping whenever they got to someone Norah knew or admired. She even ran into two people she'd met online. They weren't friends or anything, but it was nice to see people she recognized.

It was fifteen minutes before the panel was supposed to start, so they made their way to the stage door.

"Remember to breathe, sweetheart," her dad said as they saw her off at the door. They wouldn't be attending the talk.

Norah walked through the dimly lit hall toward the back of the stage where all of her fellow speakers were gathered. She was by far the youngest person there and felt incredibly inferior compared to the likes of people like Nicholas Keane and Felicity Huffman. They were people she looked up to, admired, drew inspiration from... Not her peers.

As she held herself and tried not to let the nerves get to her, one of the people behind stage with her turned and looked at her. It was Felicity Huffman, one of her idols. The woman looked at her and smiled.

"Norah, right?" she asked.

"Yeah," she answered, after almost tripping over her own tongue.

"Felicity," she said and held out a hand that Norah shook. "Is this your first time on a panel?"

"Yes."

"Don't worry. As soon as the conversation gets going, the nerves will subside. Trust me."