Lullaby

025

insecurities
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Rhesia

The smell of food dragged me from my room, my stomach turning traitor inside my ribcage. I think Hixiel was cooking pasta, real food not made in a microwave.

Leigh setting the table, Gallem singing softly from the CD player, Leirand gently swaying his hips as Gallem singing.

"Tumulong nga kayo dito" nagmamadali akong tumakbo papunta kay Leigh. Natatakot akong mapagsabihan mamaya eh.

"Sa tingin mo na inherit siguro ni Camille yung pagka baliw ng mama niya" napatingin ako kay Rovier dahil sa sinabi nito.

Well there's a possibility kasi nga diba you can obtain a personality based in your environment.

"Nalilito parin kasi ako, so may relasyon talaga si Calvin kay Camille?" tanong ko dahil andami kasing babae ni Calvin.

"Siguro? If it's true then she's good at acting napaniwala niya ako na wala siyang pakialam sa nangyayari eh" kakapasok lang ni Hixiel and she's not wearing any scarf or turtleneck. Naiiyak parin ako habang nakikita ko yung pasa sa leeg niya.

"It really leaves a mark Hixiel" mahina kong bulong at hinaplos yung leeg niya. Ngumiti lang siya at inayos yung buhok.

"What if" napatingin ako kay Gallem na biglang nagsalita.

"What if ano?" tanong ko kasi mukhang nag dadalawang isip ata siya.

"What if this is all an act? What if lang naman kasi diba magaling umakto si Camille? Don't mind it it was just a random thought" natahimik ako sa sinabi ni Gallem. For pete's sake wala na akong alam. There's always another possibilities.

"Can we just take a break for a moment? I can't keep up ok. Kahit ngayong araw lang" nakayuko kong sambit.

I know baka hindi sila sang ayon lalo na't may namamatay at malapit mamatay si Hixiel but we can't solve this if we strain our brain too much.

"Sorry, hindi ko na kasi gusto nakikita ko. You're stressing too much and I hate it" sabi ko ulit at umupo na sa lamesa. Tahimik.

As we ate in silence, nagsalita bigla si Hixiel.

"It's ok, to be honest we need to rest our minds. Hindi tayo makakapag isip ng maayos if our brain are overloaded in information" nilapag niya sa harap ko yung spaghetti. Napangiti ako.

I felt sorry more with every bite in my spaghetti. To be honest I was blaming her from what happened but I guess if hindi nangyari yun sa kanya we cannot see how important my friends our, how important we are for each other.

Mom never cooked like this, never remembered my favorite had been spaghetti since I was a kid, and never stayed sober long enough to sit up at a table. Leigh and Hixiel wasn't Mom but they act like one. Isama mo narin sila Gannet at Steilah.

My mother is just like Camille's mom. Mahilig uminom ng alak, she's not acting my mom. Lagi niya akong iniiwan sa maid namin. Kaya thankful ako kina Leigh.

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We were washing the dishes when we first heard it. A moth was crawling down the inside of the pane, and I cracked the window to let it out into the dark. I'm afraid of it. Ang creepy kasi ng feeling yung mga paa nila.

Napasilip ako sa bintana I heard something from the backyard, a faint sound.

I tilted my head to listen as it was coming from far off. Crying.