I've Got Nothing to Talk About, So Let's Talk.

Eh

So I'm just gonna complain even though I acknowledge the fact other may have it worse than meeeeee.

Sometimes I just wish that certain things weren't so hard to explain, or that certain concepts weren't so hard to grasp. Like, you understand something, but you can't fully grasp it. That's the problem. Specifically mine. Mom helped me realize that I like to try and change outcomes, or that I like to try and merge what's real with what's not. That's the thing that made me break down at 4am on Sunday. I tried making something that wasn't real, something that was real; so when the reality set in, I couldn't handle it. She wouldn't have found out if she didn't catch me cryin' in her backseat at 4:30(ish)pm on that Sunday. Of course, now two of my songs I remember as two sad songs that carry a lot of emotional weight. It's like, now my mood shifts whenever I try and listen to those songs and I hate it. They're good songs that've been tainted by my stupid feelings. That's one thing I don't like about being a soft person. I get too... my emotions shift very easy, and I'm so weird that I get offended randomly and I don't even get it. And sometimes I'm too oblivious to pick up on certain things. It's all just a mess. And not to mention I've felt off for the past few days. Emotionally off. Like, earlier today(ish) I was on the verge of tears for no reason! And then I'm also happy because I passed this semester, but that's not why I want to cry. My thoughts have also been all over the place, just as senseless fragments that I've been scrambling to piece together. I've just been all over the place. I've been accidentally hurting myself a lot too. It doesn't help I'm naturally a ditz. I get all hazy for no particular reason and suddenly I end up hitting something or I'm just being myself and hit myself either on purpose or by accident. And I have eczema, but I like being on the floor; but now I'm dreading it because my skin is enflamed and I'm miserable. I've had a semi-lack in appetite. One second I'm hungry, then I end up not wanting to eat for the rest of the day! And yay, I've finally hit the 90-pound mark. Woop. I got what I wanted, but now it just feels so insignificant... I don't get it. I would go on, but I'm gonna draw something. Bye-o!

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