My Hubby the Action Hero

Chapter 9: I now pronounce you Drunk and Spy pt.5

"You've got to be kidding me."

"No." Jack shook his head. "That's what happened."

Joe crossed his arms. "You mean to tell me that in a drunken stupor, I got us in a secret base thing, went clubbing and beat up a bunch of guys in green suits?"

"That's right. Before we were captured."

"Oh really? You sure nothing else fantastical happened? I didn't disarm any bombs or anything?"

Jack rubbed his neck. "Well, you did. But that was later."

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"Joe!"

"Waaaaaaaacho!" Joe suddenly lunged, kicking one foe after another into the wall. Jack simply watched as Joe made quick work of their enemies. That is, until he suddenly threw up and called a time out.

They were captured, bound, and lead to what must have been Chau's control room. There were monitors displaying different cities all over the world. Henchmen sat at different sets of controls. The room was dome-like and had its head of command at the set, standing over a glass tank with live fish. Joe and Jack were bound by metal cuffs and standing between two guards. Joe looked like he wanted to throw up again, and Jack's mind was on one thing: Chau.

The one known as Chau now stood before him, laughing at a high pitch, and dressed in a green tuxedo. Chau wore a large jade ring on one finger, featuring a dragon with red rubies for eyes.

Joe stared at Chau. Was Chau a man or woman? It was hard to tell.

"What're you anyway?" Joe asked.

Chau looked down at him. "Your undoing." Chau replied.

Joe rolled his eyes and looked at Jack. "Can you believe this guy? He's like, one cliche away from being a Bond villain."

Jack attention shifted to Joe. 'I have to get both of us out of here, but how?'

Joe looked at the guard standing to his left as Chau turned away from them. Chau began a long monologue depicting his various deeds, earning looks of adoration from his followers. He looked at Jack, who seemed horrified. Slipping his wrists out of the metal cuffs, he tugged on Jack's shoulder.

"Look. This is fun n' all, but I'm really tired."

"Joe..."Jack whispered, staring. "Your hands..."

Joe nodded. "What, you can't get out of yours?"

Jack glanced at a nearby guard. "Grab his gun. We're getting out of here."

Joe rolled his eyes. "Whatever James Bond." He snatched the gun.

"Hey!"

Before the guard could blink Jack shot his handcuffs apart and fired wild shots, running. He pulled Joe behind him. "As much as I want to take him down, I need to get you out of here!"

Shots whizzed overhead and missed as they ran for the exit. Large metallic doors sealed them inside before they could escape.

"That was very rude of you, Jack Bullet." Chau fumed. "I was expending info for your benefit. I figured you may want to learn a thing or two before your demise."

"You're the rude one here." Joe said, peering at Chau from behind Jack. "Wearing such a ugly suit in public. It's late man... I want out. I got a flight to catch tomorrow."

Chau sighed. "Guards, attack. Again."

Jack's pilfered gun was unfortunately out of bullets. "I don't suppose you could whip out some more kungfu?"